Don’t quit your day job, superstar

By Sam Rubenstein

Team USA blogs. The internet at it’s absolute most boringest. Thankfully these guys are all NBA players and this is just something they’re being forced to do at gunpoint. Let’s take a look at some writing samples:

Carmelo: “Right now, we’re going to take the scrimmage against Puerto Rico as a real game, but at the same time, we’re just looking to get better at certain aspects of the game and hopefully tomorrow we’ll see how our chemistry is as a team.

Who is this and what have you done with Mr. Anthony?

Bowen standing stillBowen: “It feels great to be back. You kind of dread that first day because you haven’t been around the ball – as far as team ball. You’ve been working out or whatever, but that doesn’t amount to what you do when you get out on the court and you’re playing defense against somebody else and things of that nature.

Thanks Bruce. You’re playing with the best of the best and it sounds as exciting as running suicides on the first day of camp.

Hinrich: “The break went well. I think I just tried to get some rest and just get ready to come back out here. We’ve been gone for a long time. The break went well, I’m happy to be coming back and excited to be here. I tried to get some rest over the break. I just tried to take care of my body and my leg and get ready. There really wasn’t much going on except for just hanging out.

Hey Kirk, how was the break? Did it go well?

Amare: “The communication between players is coming along great. Sometimes you have to remind yourselves to talk. So, that’s one thing we’ve been doing as a team is talking more and better.

Yeah, but the communicating through your blog needs work. I’d be more interested to hear how it felt to have your dunk snuffed out by Chris Paul, who is a foot shorter than you.

Come on guys, give us something. Where’s that American swagger? The one and only Dream Team would never be this boring. Is it too late to get Ron Artest added to the team?