Waste Not, Want Not

by March 04, 2008

Because I’m elderly, I find myself increasingly reading about boring stuff like news and politics and how generally f*cked up the world is. It happens. Today, I read about a U.S.-based company that wants to start importing nuclear waste. I don’t follow the nuclear waste industry as closely as I should, but the company’s name sounded familiar to me.

Then I remembered why.

Yeah, EnergySolutions. I remembered EnergySolutions because SLAM’s very own Salt Lake City bureau chief, Russ “Banksdon” Bengtson, has referenced the wonderfulness of an NBA arena being named for a company whose income appears primarily to be derived from the disposal of extra-super deadly nuclear waste. I guess NuclearWasteDumping looks sh*tty on the company letterhead, though, so EnergySolutions it is.

I think Russ also made a reference to how, given what the company does, the 2007-08 Knicks would actually be the most appropriate team to play in that arena. Good one, Russ.

Anyway, today’s grown-up reading brought me to the Christian Science Monitor, which I remember thinking, when I was younger, had something to do with Scientology. It does not. Late last week, it featured an article on how EnergySolutions wants to import nuclear waste from Italy (where the nuclear waste is more stylish, I guess?) and dump some substantial percentage of it in Utah. Critics, somewhat understandably, are worried that this would set a dangerous precedent of companies importing nuclear waste from all over the world.

Those critics are whiners. The real shame is that this nuclear waste is coming from Italy, and not Ukraine. If it were, I could use a really funny line about Utah importing unwanted waste from Ukraine — and I’m not even talking Kyrylo Fesenko!

But it’s not. So I can’t. Go Jazz.