Secretary of Education Arne Duncan Schools Everyone In Sprint Celebrity Game

by February 15, 2014


by Maurice Bobb / @ReeseReport

Turns out film star Kevin Hart actually has a heart. After winning the Sprint Celebrity Game MVP Friday night via the fan vote for the third straight year, the diminutive funnyman did the right thing and bequeathed the hardware to its rightful owner.

“Hold on, everybody,” said the 5-2 actor, who, besides over-dribbling, only finished with 7 points and 4 assists. “You know what? I think this shows that I have fans that I love but unfortunately I can’t take this one. I have to be a humble loser. Arne Duncan man, I got to respectfully give you the MVP trophy. Arne Duncan, phenomenal player, I’m going down as a loser this year but on the bright side, my movie About Last Night is in theaters this weekend. Go see it. Arne Duncan, congratulations man.”

Secretary of Education Duncan, who dropped an impressive 20 points (a new record for the Celebrity Game), 11 rebounds and 6 dimes to seal the 60-56 win for his East team, schooled the entire West squad with his court vision and hustle. Case in point: his nifty behind the neck pass to a cutting Skylar Diggins was SportsCenter-worthy for sure.

In a losing effort, Fruitvale Station star Michael B. Jordan finished with 16 points and 7 boards. The New Jersey native was breakin’ ankles and taking it the hole all game, forcing the East head coach Jalen Rose to command his players to hone in on him to stop the bleeding.

All in all, it was the most competitive contest in recent memory. Rap star Romeo Miller played well, retired NBA player Bruce Bowen played well and, let’s face it, even Hart kept the game entertaining with his on-court banter and shenanigans. Hart riffed with the refs, went rogue on West head coach Bill Simmons, got into it with mascots, played to the capacity crowd and gave Bowen the business the entire game, getting tangled up with him on the floor and, before a jump ball between Bowen and Jesse Williams, yelled out that Bowen “had the knees of an 80-year old woman.” 

Other pleasant surprise included Snoop Lion, who hustled and dazzled on the court as a last minute entry. The “Nuthin But A ‘G’ Thang” MC played stingy defense, crashed the boards and even dropped a pretty J from behind the arc on ’em. Snoop is welcome back anytime.