College Relevancy Radar

by November 30, 2007

by Ben Collins

We know how you feel around this time of year. We’ve had the feeling too.

“It’s November. Should I watch this Gonzaga-St. Joes highlight or read about Paris Hilton disbelieving the existence of elephant drunkenness for the third time? She can’t possibly believe that. She can get drunk and she’s about two steps away from elephants on the evolutionary chart. Must re-read.”

So you read the Paris Hilton article. Or you set your hair on fire. Even that seems more pressing than low top-25 teams taking care of washed-up mid-majors in the most business-like of fashions.

So this may be a solution. We’ve come up with a College Relevancy Radar of NCAA hoops stories that barrow into the public consciousness against your will. Even in November.

It’s a mix between straight rankings and almost-annoying snark. The higher the ranking, the more likely you are to sneak onto a sports page in a totally culturally acceptable fashion. The closer you are to zero, your whole being is essentially useless to our planet. Let’s make this clear: it has nothing to do with wins and losses, sometimes nothing to do with stats. Just remain on our minds and you win.

And since WordPress doesn’t have a plug-in for one of these yet (what are the odds!), we’ll just have to deal with these tables with which we are becoming all to familiar. It’s fair to say we’re dating at this point.