Fifth Grader Applies for University of Incarnate Word Coaching Job

Since joining NCAA Division-I play in 2013, the Incarnate Word men’s basketball team has struggled to struggled to achieve consistent success which resulted in the firing of head coach Ken Burmeister.

When digging through the haystack of cover letters and résumés, one in particular stood out to athletic director Brian Wickstrom:

Not only is this youngin’ just a fifth grader, but he also plans on turning around the Cardinals’ basketball program in just a year.

Hello, My name is Townsend Holan, And even though I am in 5th grade, I would like to apply for the basketball head coaching job at Incarnate Word. As a fan, I know that the secret to winning consistently is to have a plan. My plan is that since you only won 1/9 of your conference games and went 5-3 in non-conference matchups. So what i see in this program is a process. And I like where this team is going. So if you let me guide the team, You would not regret it. So here is the deal. I only want a 1 year deal, because if this were to not work out as planned, You do not have to keep me as the coach. And although I do live in Omaha, Nebraska, I am sure we can work it out. So just imagine the possibilities and perks of me being the man that will guide this team.Please get back to me as soon as you can. Also, you can contact me at (retracted).

A man with a plan, indeed.