Coach K finally wins the gold

By Sam Rubenstein

I was checking out, where they mention Coach K, the leader of Men winning USA Basketball’s national coach of the year award. Um… correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t he have no competition for this award? Were they going to give it to his assistants Jim Boeheim and Mike D’Antoni? How is this even an award? I won’t even mention the fact that they’re celebrating the bronze medal, which was earned because the assembled talent underachiveved in large part because of the way they were unable to adjust to the other team’s style. I would blame the coach for that, but I digress.

The only reason I’m even mentioning this “award” is because Mike Kryzehwizaski won it. I’m sick of that guy. Duke this. I once won an award just like this one. It was when I was in Little League and the award was “participant” or “Good sportsmanship” or one of those trophies they have to give kids that don’t take home the real hardware. Damn you Andres Mina! That MVP was mine! But I guess “pitching” and “hitting” is more important than gold glove-esque defense at first base and stealing bases/scoring runs after reaching base on walks and wild pitch third strikes.

Coach K won this award because he was hired to be the coach. I am looking forward to picking up my SLAM magazine Associate Online Editor of the Year award later today.

By the way, the story begins crediting Coach K for ressurecting respect and pride in the team. Why did he have to do that? Because the team had lost its respect the last time they played, under Larry Brown. A two-time winner of this very award.