Gliding with the Stars

By Sam Rubenstein

ABC has announced the newest cast for Dancing with the Stars and, well… Clyde Drexler is on the list. From the series’ home page:

CLYDE DREXLER – Named One of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA History, Clyde the Glide was a member of the 1992 U.S. Olympic Dream Team. He began his career in 1983 with the Portland Trailblazers and retired in 1998 with the Houston Rockets, a team he led to the 1995 NBA Championship. ELENA GRINENKO, who returns for her second season, will be his partner.

Sigh… I have never seen a whole episode of the show, but I know that Emmitt did a great job and Jerry Rice was sort of okay. Clyde has put a lot of pressure on himself. His nickname is “The Glide”, and with a name like that you sure as hell better be able to move on a dance floor.

Notable competition includes Muhammad Ali’s daughter, Achy Breaky Billy Ray Cyrus, Joey Fatone a.k.a. the Italian guy from N’Sync who looks exactly like every guy in my neighborhood, Heather Mills who is kind of Paul McCartney’s Yoko if you will, and has the amazing line in her bio “Heather Mills will be the first contestant to compete with an artificial limb” and her bio makes no mention of Sir Paul, Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore, and least surprisingly Ian Ziering, otherwise known as Steve Sanders frm 90210.

Alright Clyde. The competition isn’t that strong. The pressure is on.