J-ZONE’S TOP 10 RANDOM NBA THOUGHTS

by March 05, 2008
18

10. Baron Davis got robbed, dude is an all-star if I’ve ever seen one.
He was doin the Disney thing with Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Minnie on
All-Star Sunday instead of playing in the game. Come to think of it,
the Warriors were the only Top 8 seed in the West with no All-Stars.
Stephen Jackson got jerked as well. But who do you replace on the West
All-Stars? The guards are pretty untouchable, but some of the forwards
could have been moved around to make room. The problem with All-Star
voting is popularity gets in the way. I would have found Mr. Softee
(Dirk) a seat next to Alyssa Milano, he had his shine when he lost the
3-point shoot out. I’m biased but fuck it, so are the coaches and
other voters. Then again, it wouldn’t have been much of a shock to see
a GS Warrior in the tempo of an All-Star Game. They do that 82 games a
year. Gotta love Don Nelson ball.

9. But one thing that ain’t even a debate is Hedo Turkoglu getting
robbed. Numerous game winning shots, 19 PPG, 6 RPG, 4 APG…He’s the
much improved x-factor on a slept on Magic team and Rasheed Wallace
getting the nod over him was unfair. Don’t trip, I got much love for
the homie Sheed. He gives the refs George Jefferson hell, left
Portland in a cloud of (weed) smoke and pissed off E-40 enough to have
a whole verse written about him (see “Record Haters”, 1996). But the
bottom line is the NBA loves the Pistons. All good Hedo keep your head
up, if the Magic match up with the Pistons in the playoffs, it should
be a decent series. Dwight Howard is “Supermanning that hoe”.

8. Speaking of DH12, I’m not even gonna mention him reinventing the
dunk comp -he THREW the ball DOWN into the hoop!- but I will say it
took a lil edge off when I heard that the Superman routine was
influenced by that awful terrible God awful song. And the thought of a
seven foot beast with a Robocop physique doing that dance that goes
with it…that’s like catching David Stern doing the Rockaway to
“Chicken Noodle Soup With A Cola On The Side” or whatever that shit
was called. That’s when you realize that DH is only 22. Ouch. To all
upcoming big men, I’m sorry in advance. Still, 22 is 4 years too old
for that song.

7. A message to future dunk comp contestants…step your game up!
Gerald Green’s “Birthday Cake” was creative and dunking in your socks
is much harder than it looks, but the rest of em…I’ve seen that in
high school warm-ups. Athletic, yes. Entertaining, no. May as well
co-ed the shit and go get Candace Parker and Lisa Leslie for a dunk
off. I’d seriously be more into that.

6. Devean George blocked a blockbuster trade?! Devean George?! Devean
George. That Devean George? You sure? The one that was on the Lakers
brickin threes back in the day? He’s still in the NBA? Dawg, you’re
lucky to be playing. Get the over to NJ and just play the game.
Jeeeeeeeeezzzzuuus! Last time I saw him ballin was in the movie Sunset
Park. He got crossed up by Fredro Starr. Then after all that
hootenanny he shot 0-11 in the next game. That Devean George? You’re
positive?

5. Damn Devean, see what you did? Now because of you Keith Van Horn is
returning to the NBA…and the Nets for that matter. Ah man, that guy
has lulled the Atlantic conference to sleep for years. The good news
is he ain’t playing. The bad news is he’s making 4.3 million dollars
to recline and eat fruit roll-ups for a month at the Izod Arena. Well,
now that I look at it, KVH is a bo$$ tycoon, gotta respect that. On
some Eazy-E (RIP) gettin paid off sales of The Chronic shit. Fuck it,
its the American way. Get your money Keith, 80 % of the Knicks did the
same thing, albeit the playing time.

4. Speaking of the Knicks -who lost by 40 to Philly last week- at
least we still have the top defensive player and rebounder in the NBA
in Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry….Just wanted to make sure yall were
still awake. And by the way, if Zach and Nate woulda fought on the
bench after that water bottle incident…let’s just say that’s a David
and Goliath KO for my man Lil Nate. Just ask Denver. He gave em
flashbacks of an Onyx video.

3. I’m not too sure about some of these trades. The Lakers-Grizzlies
trade was probably the most lopsided in NBA history. The Lakers went
from a 7 seed to a top 3 seed (pending injuries) and The Grizzlies
went from NBDL to B-Divison PSAL. Kwame Brown for Pao Gasol? Kwame
Brown. That Kwame Brown? You sure? The one that had 7 turnovers in
about 15 minutes awhile back? He’s still in the NBA? You sure? Yikes!
Yes, it’s obvious the Grizz are outta there. Vancouver to Memphis
to…

2. Chicago, congrats. You got a double double dude and a streak
shooter in Drew Gooden & Larry Hughes and only lost Joe Smith (very
underrated player) and a few others. It’s crazy how Big Ben went from
defensive player of the year to one of the “few others” in 3 years.
Maybe it was the enviornment, Scott Skiles, I 90-94 traffic, too much
good food at Wishbone or not being able to wear the headband for a
while, but its being completely objective to say he stunk it up in the
Chi. I went to one game at United Center and he got no love from the
crowd (and finished with about 4 and 7 to Dwight Howard’s 18 and 23).
Will he give LeBron some help or will he prove that he’s been exposed
and Detroit made him look good? Big Ben, the clock is ticking (no pun
intended).

1. Jason Kidd finally made it back to Dallas. What does this do? The
Future Hall of famer is from Oakland, grew up on Too $hort. You don’t
hear a peep outta his loudmouth ex wife these days do you? Kidd is a
goon! He brings some toughness and leadership to the backcourt, but I
think people underestimate how badly losing DeSagana Diop hurts them.
Dampier by himself can’t stop Shaq & Amare, Duncan & Thomas or Gasol,
Odom & Bynum. Who’s gonna get in the paint and really make a
difference? The Mav’s tallest player floats softly around the
perimiter in his ice cream truck selling Sno Cones, singing David
Hasselhoff tunes & shooting threes. I admit, he mixes it up a little
more inside this year but Dirk can’t help out with that inside game. I
don’t see the Mavs doing much in the way the west is stacked.

And Houston…damn. No Yao= no post season. At least it won’t be
another first round exit for T-Mac. They were killin it as of late
too. Oh well, it’s fishing rod time.

The Miami-Phoenix trade gets Marion more shine in terms of being
recognized as an individual talent, but having Shaq is a big push for
the Suns. A lot of people disagree, but I think this will work if Shaq
does his little 15-20 minutes per game. That way they have the option
of putting Amare at the 5 and running you out the gym or putting in
Shaq to slow it down, they have options. A 5 game skid can kill you in
the west, so anything goes.

I say the conference finals are Magic or Pistons vs. Celtics for the
East and Spurs vs. Lakers for the West. If Bynum returns, Kobe’s
finger doesn’t croak and everybody can stay healthy, don’t count the
Lakeshow out for taking it all. As good as the Hornets are, I think
they’re a little too young to ride that far. But I will say Chris Paul
is the best PG in the NBA hands down, no debates. Sorry Stephon.


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