Jamario Moon’s New Nickname

By Jake Appleman

I was in the Raptors locker room after their win Friday night against the Knicks and I noticed something I never had before. Many, if not all, of the nametags above the lockers included middle names. By far, the most interesting middle name belonged to Jamario Moon: Ramen. That’s right, Jamario Ramen Moon.

“Like Ramen Noodles?” I asked

“No like Raymond,” he said.

It was then Anthony Parker and I decided his new nickname should be Ramen Noodles—or “Noodles” for short—for two reasons.

1) My reasoning seasoning: Moon was, and still is to some extent, underestimated and overlooked. He’s also incredibly inexpensive for the value he provides. Moreover, Moon came out of nowhere to take the NBA by storm; Ramen Noodles came out of nowhere to packetize the soup game.
2) AP’s reasoning seasoning: He is stringy thin like Ramen Noodles

(Sidenote: Since Lang is reportedly amazing at cooking Ramen Noodles, does this mean that if he was coaching the Raptors he’d be able to get more out of Moon than Sam Mitchell? I can just see it now…”Chris Bosh, you’ve got to realize that your job is to get the ball to Ramen Noodles. And if Noodles isn’t open, you’re going to have to kick it back out to Jose and have Noodles re-post; either that or find him up top for an ISO.”)

By the way, it warrants mentioning that the Raptors are—at least it would appear—a fun squad filled with good personalities: Moon, Parker, Jose Calderon, Jorge Garbajosa (unfortunately injured), Chris Bosh, Darrick Martin, Carlos Delfino and Kris Humphries, to name a few almost the entire team. Humphries seems to have, dare I say, Scott Pollard-esque untapped comedy potential. Come on Kris, YOUTUBE awaits!

The one real exception to this vibrant, selfless vibe the Raptors give off is Andrea Bargnani. A confidant in the know described Bargnani as having less conversational personality than a chair. Ouch. At least he fits the international mold of the team.