Jessica Simpson, Jay Williams and Jerry Sloan

by Lang Whitaker

Let’s get right into it…

“Yeah, I’m married. So don’t come snooping around out at Herriman because you might get shot.” — Jerry Sloan, confirming his recent wedding.

“My name is Marcus. I like to jump rope, too. I like to play basketball.” — Marcus Camby.

• Jay Williams, welcome back to the NBA.

• Former Raptors GM Glen Grunwald is leaving the Toronto Board of Trade behind and coming to work for the Knicks. He’ll be in charge of trying to help Isiah get a better exchange rate when making trades.

• Scariest lead of the week: “Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck joked that power forward Al Jefferson looked a lot like Jessica Simpson these days.” I’m not who that’s more insulting to.

• Sideshow Varejao says he’s just trying to forget his summer. I’m guessing the Greek player whose jaw was shattered by a Varejao elbow during the World Championships would have a similar reaction. The Cavs have also sunk a lot of cash into their offices.

• George Shinn continues to do everything in his power to make Hornets fans in New Orleans feel nervous about their team returning.

• The Grizzlies marketing campaign is built around the phrase “Dunkyland.” Yeah, I’m really confused by it, too.

• Marcus Camby is for the children.

• Jerry Sloan says the Jazz are making the playoffs. If you don’t believe him, he’ll break your damn neck with his bare hands!

• New official player of The Links?

• A 99-year-old Pacers fan received an autographed picture of Reggie Miller from his agent’s office. Aww…