Slamadamonth, SLAM #180: Tim Duncan

May 31, 2014: Somehow, someway, TD is still at it.
by June 17, 2014


“Hello, Virgin Island Cybernetics. How may I direct your—“

“Put the director on. NOW!”

“Hi, this is Dr. Asimov, who is—“

“You know who this is, Doc, so let’s cut all the nonsense. How do I stop it?”

“Stop it? Your Td21 Unit is operating exactly how we planned. We thought the knee giving out in the 15th season was late, but that’s what you wanted. And the inevitable decline—“

“The inevitable decline has stopped! We’re in the Finals for the second straight season. That’s never happened before. I kept his minutes down all season to avoid suspicion, then he goes for 19 and 15 in 39 minutes to clinch the Western Conference Finals. And he dunked on someone! Mg20—that’s another discussion for another time—hit Td21 with a perfect pass and he flushed it on that New Zealander. He’s not supposed to be able to do that anymore!”

“Let me pull up his files and see what… Wait, this can’t be. The Td21 files are all gone. Except—is this a Dungeons and Dragons Dungeon Master’s Guide?”

“My God. He’s gone rogue. Anything can happen now. Anything at all.”—Russ Bengtson