Summer Thoughts Part Deux

By Jake Appleman

–Been thinking about the Nets a lot lately. With this ridiculous surplus of bigs and the all too apparent reality that this team will struggle for buckets, I’m thinking the Nets need to petition the league to allow them to play 6 on 5, with 4 bigs on the floor at the same time. That, or they let them play a version of basketball/lacrosse where the defender (Sean Williams/Josh Boone/Najera) only plays defense and the offensive player (Lopez/Yi/ Anderson) joins the offense once the ball passes half court.

–The Nets 6 man unit idea reminds of a joke that my buddy JR, a Knick fan, came up with about the before last year, the essence of which was that the Knicks needed to run a two ball offense so Jamal Crawford could always be shooting.

–You know your team may have problems putting the ball in the hoop when you’re even casually wondering if Darius Miles could really help. A Darius Miles resurrection would be a performance akin to Travolta’s renaissance in Pulp Fiction.

–And how hard would it be for the Nets to pry Craig Smith away from Minnesota? Kevin McHale is renowned for giving things away.

–Praying that everybody’s favorite blogger Rod Benson makes it to the league this season. While Toronto (a seemingly inevitable JO injury) and Phoenix (Nash makes everyone better, + Benson and Shaq in the same locker room) would both be great fits, why not the Knicks? Hear me out: say they buy out Randolph and Starbury. Add Rod Benson to an already good group of guys and would it even matter how many games they won? No sulking, no bitching, just hard work at an entertaining fast pace exhibited by guys that the fans could relate to. Rod would be in there like swim wear, and swim wear would in on 5th Avenue. Of course, Donnie Walsh and Mike D’Antoni would have to fully convince James Dolan to let RB write whatever he wants and not worry about the Garden’s past tradition of insular bullsh*t and petty squabbling, but whatever; just seeing the newfound smiles on the faces of the guys that cover the team would be a breath of fresh awesomeness.

–Jorge Garbajosa: Que te disfrutes europa, tio.

–I was on the subway the other day and I saw this hefty chick. I couldn’t understand why I was staring at her for so long trying to figure out who she was until I realized she was sorority girl that Kyle “boinked” in Road Trip. And no, I didn’t ask her for her giant leopard print underwear.

–If the Spurs win their biannual chip this year, Roger Mason Jr’s championship ring is going to come with an engraving that reads: “medicated version of Stephen Jackson six years later.”

–Most of ya’ll have all written off Adam Morrison. I haven’t. The Bobcats are so playing two ball offense next year.

–On the Portland Trailblazers’ official website, when you click on “the team”, little player icons pop up across the top of the screen and you can click on one of the icons to view his stats and bio. The problem is, I want to click on all of them. Except for Raef Lafrentz, but still. What a fun, deep team.

–Most fantastic yet overlooked signing: Matt Barnes to the Suns.

–Most surprising “it will be actually be worth the money signing”: Diop back to the Mavs.

–Anybody who wants to start an upstream/fishing website should totally call it

–More interesting than the ESPY’s: The SP’s, awards handed out by SLAM Managing Editor, Susan Price.

–It’s funny the Rockets dealt Donte Greene in the Artest deal. When I went to the Nike Camp in ’06, I came away enamored with Greene’s game, even comparing him to a taller, more erratic Mac. Given the fact that he’s worn three hats before ever setting foot on NBA hardwood, let me be the first to say that Greene should only be allowed a step and a half before getting whistled for walking. He needs a break from all that traveling (mental and physical).

–Boki and Nenad walk into a Moscow bar. Bartender says he just ran out of Bud Light. Boki says quit with the metaphors. They drink and tip well before leaving.

–Boki and Nenad walk into a snackbar. They fill up on unhealthy snacks and then still go out to dinner because they’re playing ball in Russia and they can get away with it.

–Rod and Kiki walk into a bar a month ago, looking somewhat glum. Bartender says, “What’s wrong, fellas, you seem kinda stuck?” Rod responds: “We’re having a tough time moving forwards.”