The D.A.Y. of $hamrock and Celtic upsets (shenanigans?)

by February 27, 2007

By Sam Rubenstein

Last night I attended the White Rapper Show Wrap Rap party. Notice the typo on the flyer to the left. 12:30 P.M., that is a long party. Maybe it’s a rapper on purpose typo like powaful impak! Maybe not. They had a big screen there to view the finale, followed by performances by some of the stars of the show like G-Child (to whom I yelled out “Avril! Play Sk8r boy!), Persia, and John Brown. Ben Osborne was there too, watching not performing. I really don’t know what else to say about it other than it was weird being at a rap show where there was a 0% chance of violence. Jason “I am Rosa Parks” Whitlock would have been proud. The most significant development of the night was that I purchased a Ghetto Revival t-shirt for our Art Director Stephen Goggi. If you like the banners on everyone’s blog, like for example the Mr. Fantasy banner on Emry’s new post, you have Stephen to thank. That’s why he gets the free t-shirt. If every SLAM font in the future is ghetto revivial inspired, now you know why. I can’t wait to give him this shirt. Hallelujah Hollaback. On the show itself, $hamrock won the final battle in the biggest upset since, well…

The Celtics won an NBA game! The Irish luck of $hamrock shines through! McGrady didn’t play with flu like symptoms, and the Rockets leading scorer was Bonzi Wells with 27 and 9. Paul Pierce led the Celtics with 28, and even though Mac didn’t play, Houston did have a 13 point lead. Al Jefferson threw up a 16 and 17 while the Rockets leading rebounder was Jake Tsakalidis. Boston won for second time in its last 24 games.

Kobe’s back tightened up so he couldn’t go off for 50+ against Utah this time. Instead he went to the line 24 times on his way to a 35 point game. Smush hit 6 of 8 threes, chipping in with 24 points and Lamar Odom came close to the triple double with 19, 14, and 9. The Jazz did not have Deron Williams, but Carlos Boozer has been working his way back into game shape, playing 29 minutes in his third game back. Starting PG Derek Fisher led the Jazz with 23 and 8.

I watched some of this game at my friend’s house while we pre-gamed for the White Rapper thing. Eddy Curry was grabbing offensive rebounds and putting them back in. This was against Shaq. What a world. Curry had 28 and 11 while Shaq could only grab 3 boards. Now that’s a role reversal. Jason Kapono seems to be the one that is going to get more shots with Wade missing time. He hit 4 of his 5 threes and took 17 shots, leading the Heat with 24 points. The Knicks win one lose one win one lose one, and so on. Steph scored 18 of his 25 in the fourth and Jamal Crawford hit another big shot for NY. I missed that fourth quarter because I was watching aspiring underground rappers express their hate and envy of John Brown, not understanding that he is proud to be a gimmick. Look, here’s the link to the ghetto revival modeling agency. Hallelujah! By the way John Brown’s performance at Rucker was bananas.

Shaun Livingston’s knee. Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! The youtube video should be up soon enough. Make room in Dwyane Wade’s wheelchair. And my stomach, cause I just threw up. The injury was so grusome, it overshadowed an otherwise unremarkable game. Corey Maggette led the Clips with 25, hitting 19 of 20 free throws. Bernie Bickerstaff had an interesting take on the free throw discrepancy “You cannot defend 45 free throws. That is ridiculous. I just think our guys deserve much better than that. They played their keisters off and fought back in the game. But it had nothing to do with X’s and O’s. The Clippers won the game on the free throw line. They are a great free throw-shooting team.” Park your keister meister.

Another easy win for the Mavs, moving the ball around, kicking a$$. Josh Howard landed on someone’s foot coming down on a jumper, which he seems to do more than anyone else. Joe Johnson had 29 in defeat, Zaza added 24, but the Hawks go 0-2 on the suicide mission that is Phoenix and Dallas back to back. So here’s the thing… we are in the hype business and Melo and Iverson is the much-celebrated dual superstar one-two scoring punch. Are Dirk and Josh Howard the best 1-2 punch in the game right now? As far as all-around play, I think they just might be. The Mavs never lose.

And here is that other duo, finally clicking. 33 for Melo, 25 and 9 for AI. Too bad they can’t play Memphis every night. Pau led the Grizzlies with 21 and 11.

Ex-teammates Ben Wallace and Darko squared off and for the first time ever Darko got the best of the battle. Maybe that’s too strong of a statement, but Darko did grab 7 offensive rebounds on his way to a 14 and 16 game. Ben had 3 points and 8 boards. Dwight Howard used his 11 turnovers to get a triple double, and he hit the free throws at the end to secure the win. Ben Gordon led Chicago with 32.

Iguodala had some nice dunks as well as 22, 8, and 7. Dalembert pulled down 17 boards, Andre Miller managed the game well and the Sixers hung on for the win in front of a reported attendance of 11,034. Sure. Ron Artest showed up and didn’t make much of a difference. Kevin Martin led the kings with 23 in the loss.

Tim Duncan had 24 and 16, Tony Parker scored 27, and Chris Bosh had an off-night. Hence, the blowout. The Spurs have quietly won 6 in a row. Dallas and Phoenix aren’t exactly impressed by a 6 game winning streak, but San Antonio is still that dangerous third team that could ruin our dream of the Phoenix-Dallas 7 game epic.

I get deja vu every time I write about the Sonics. A thought hits my brain “I still have to do the Sonics recap?” and then I describe someone hitting a bunch of threes in a blowout win or loss. Rashard Lewis scored 29 hitting 6 of 11 threes. Portland, nevermind.