Being a pro athlete has its benefits: To say that you get paid handsomely is more than an understatement, dating celebrities is an option, you can release music albums (that no one buys), you stay in relatively good shape, …, and perhaps most importantly, no matter how ridiculous you look, the opposite sex will always find something attractive about you.
Take Drew Gooden and his hideous neckstache for example:
“It’s like fly paper for the ladies,” said a source close to Gooden. “But if every bankable athlete has to have a hook, I’d much rather him have that hair patch than gold teeth, illegitimate babies or a rap sheet.”
I just hope that I don’t read somewhere that Tyrone Hill’s face was like fly paper for the ladies. Because, to be honest, I don’t think that’s something I could recover from.