Andray Blatche is Throwing a ‘Grand Finale’ Party Tonight

by April 26, 2012
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Naturally, Andray Blatche will be throwing a bash tonight to, we suppose, celebrate the season from hell that he and the Washington Wizards have just gone through. Awesome. DC Sports Bog ruefully explains: “Twelve months in the life of Andray Blatche: 1) Host Lapdance Tuesday in the first week of May, 2011. 2) Hold offseason workouts that none of the team’s stars attend, and pass out ‘Play Off Starts Here!’ t-shirts. 3) When the season finally begins, tell your teammates that you’re ‘ready to die for this.’ 4) Home opener: ‘How y’all doing? This is your captain, Andray Blatche.’ 5) Get booed for like 12 straight weeks. 6) Record perhaps the NBA’s first-ever stat line of ‘NWT-Conditioning.’ 7) Start going to the gym at 3:30 a.m. 8] Tell reporters that your weight-loss strategies include cutting your hair. 9) Miss 20 straight games for conditioning work. 10) Host a ‘Grand Finale’ party on the night of the Wizards’ final game, 51 weeks after Lapdance Tuesday.”