By Sam Rubenstein

Team USA is scrimmaging out in Vegas, and Lang is headed out there tomorrow to figure out what’s right/wrong with them. I promised to turn something in for the magazine FIRST THING IN THE MORNING on Monday, and here we are. I’d better finish it. Quickly then, three very important thoughts.

1) Superbad is super good! I am not the only person to have written that sentence in the past week. This movie will cause you to laugh. Someone I saw it with complained that I don’t mention him on slamonline enough. If you are reading this, think about what the cops say at the bar about meeting a woman and think about the girl you brought to the movie with you.

2) Tonight is the polar opposite of Superbad. I am getting kicked out of my apartment because my girlfriend is playing hostess for her book club. In related news, painting a room of an apartment is much harder work than sitting in front of a computer letting your fingers tap at a keyboard. I re-learned that lesson on Friday and Saturday.

3) I know the worst thing you can ever subject another person to is talking about your fantasy team, but in the Harris Publications fantasy baseball league, I moved into first place last night with a little bit of help from above. My team was getting blown out like never before, and then had a beast of a day yesterday, taking the lead heading into Sunday Night Baseball. The only thing that could hurt me was if the one player on the other team hit a homer, which could have had a ripple effect on many categories. That player happened to be Pujols, but the skies opened up and YOUNG MOISES is on top of the mountain! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Now seriously, I have to finish that thing up for the magazine. Go see SUPERBAD! Call in sick if you have to.