By Sam Rubenstein

It is a very big day for me today. We have our first company softball team meeting of the season, which means I get to see all of my friends from the other parts of the office. The thought of playing softball reminds me of being outside in the warm weather, which makes me happy. Last year I hit the gym hard, bulking myself up thinking I could be a power hitter, but that didn’t work out so well. This year I’ve been running a lot, keeping my weight down, ready to fly. Why am I boring you with all of this softball talk when you are here to read about the NBA? Because the regular season will not die. IT WILL NOT DIE!!!!!
If the NBA season were a DVD, this is the time to hit the skip ahead button. Dallas has clinched home court throughout. Detroit’s magic number is 1 for the East.

LaMarcus Aldridge has come down with Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, which can be loosely defined as an irregular heart beat. The Trailblazers are doing the right thing, being extra cautious with their young future star. See you next year LaMarcus. Get better!

Bonzi Wells seems to have some type of social anxiety disorder. Jeff Van Gundy is saying things like “I hope he is safe.” Bonzi? Are you okay? Again, take it easy, we hope for the best.
In less serious matters, I relayed an important message I received to the proper authorities – otherwise known as SNITCHING (take that Carmelo!), and here you go.

Have I mentioned that the NBA season is limping on one leg to the finish line? Yesterday Lang wrote about how he hates this part of the season and is going into Operation Shutdown. I still have to come up with 3 front page featurish items every day. How do I do that? Take a play out of the Cuuuuuuurtis playbook and just say outlandish things for the sake of saying them? Been there, done that, bored by it. But seriously, how great would it be if we could all just go to sleep, wake up, and have playoff games to watch?

Okay, there were games last night.

The Knicks have been removing all the doubt that they will not be a playoff team. I started caring about basketball because of the excitement generated from the Knicks playoff series of my youth. Since I started working here, the Knicks have not won a playoff game, are 0-4 overall, and 0-2 at MSG. Fun!

DENVER 115 LA LAKERS 111
The battle for the right to play the Suns and not the Spurs gave us some of the weirder stat lines of the year. Kobe shot 9 of 30, but had10 assists. Carmelo got to the free throw line 16 times on his way to a very efficient 33 points on 19 shots. And the most bizarre of all, Marcus Camby had 22 rebounds, 7 blocks and only 3 points. Big Ben-esque. They say it’s important to get hot at the right time, and the Nuggets have now won six in a row, taking command of the sixth seed from the Lakers.
GOLDEN STATE 126 UTAH 102
Meanwhile, the Jazz have been playing without Andrei Kirilenko and have lost four in a row. More importantly, the Warriors got 28, 7, and 5 from Stephen Jackson, and thanks to the Clippers loss to Dallas, are now tied for the 8th seed in the Nellie hour of reprisal game.

DALLAS 96 LA CLIPPERS 86
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-id I studdddder? The Clippers lost, so they fall into a tie with the Warriors. I just said that. Dallas clinches home court throughout, which I also said earlier in this post. Avery already announced that his plan is to rest Dirk, Stackhouse, and anyone else who needs rest. Erick Dampier only played 3 minutes and fits into the needing rest category.
REMAINS OF THE D.A.Y.
Orlando blew out Milwaukee by shooting 63% from the field. San Antonio blew out Portland by showing up and getting 30 from Tony Parker. Houston got by Seattle 95-90, the Pistons beat the Knicks at MSG with Marbury taking the night off, and Anthony Parker stayed hot as the Raptors beat the T-Wolves 111-100.