Tuesday, August 14th, 2007 at 5:50 pm  |  62 responses

Links: BREAKING NEWS: Drew Gooden’s Ducktail Is Dead

Never has a clean neck looked so good.

by Lang Whitaker

Drew Gooden’s ducktail haircut has spawned millions of blog posts this season. It became a trademark of sorts…a very weird, strange trademark. Drew arrived at training camp this season with the haircut — basically a lone, insolent patch of hair on his neck — and rode it out all season long. It was an homage, he said, to the ’80s, a popular haircut in the Bay Area back in the day.

(One of my favorite moments at the Finals this year came before one of the games when I was talking to Tony Parker and he asked me about Drew’s hair. I explained that it was some sort of homage to the ’80s, and Tony said, “But this is 2007.” Oui, Tony.)

Anyway, I have it on very good authority that the ducktail is now gone, dead, deceased. I heard about it earlier today and then I confirmed it with the man himself. Cavs fans, begin your crying.

The ducktail is dead. Long live the ducktail.

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  • http://another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself


  • jdubbs

    first suckas

  • http://why-bother-reading.blogspot.com H to the izzo

    This needed too happen to secure the future of the NBA

  • jdubbs

    shoot, second then.
    (witholding rap by popular request)

  • http://another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    This was the news we needed after all that negativity surrounding Donaghy. Drew Gooden made us baling guys feel bad. Being able to grow hair, like he is, but then growing a patch in the neck is just ridiculous. Either you get a decent haircut, or you just go bald.

  • http://another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    Baling? I meant balding. Sorry.

  • http://tasa201.wordpress.com/ Tariq

    Allow me to extend my condolences to all lovers of truth and beauty. Also, Lang, there is no better way to describe that abomination than your adjective “insolent”. Kudos.

  • chiqo

    can we start calling him recede wallace again?

  • http://slamonline.com Lang Whitaker

    He doesn’t like that nickname very much, but I think it’s great. I bet he looks more like Ray Nagin without any hair.

  • Jason

    Now I’ll actually be able to watch him play without wondering if he’s got some sort of scar on the back of this head that he’s trying to hide.

  • Apizz

    During a drive from Chicago to Toronto me and some friends had to drive a couple of miles off the highway to get some gas and some eats. My buddy says “look at this guy’s hair!”

    We all look over to see a guy around 60, no shirt, huge gut hanging out, bald with the Drew Gooden patch, BUT THICKER! Right when we look at him, he reaches into his back pocket, and pulls out A COMB. He then proceeds to brush his one oval of hair on the back of his neck. I will always hate our driver for not turning around so we could take pictures with him.

  • Dizzle

    The NBA: Where Drew Gooden finally has a normal looking head

  • Jack

    In other news: Luol Deng and the Great Britain team lost their first 2 games against Croatia and Georgia. Deng only played against Georgia and finished with 19 points. Pops, the Dallas Maverick Summer-Leaguer is hopefully gonna join the team soon, too. And the PG from my hometown team, the Newcastle Eagles, is there. Richard Midgeley. It’s actually exciting times for British ball. This post has nothing to do with Gooden’s duck tail.

  • http://www.sactownroyalty.com Tom

    I think it’s fair to say we all died a little on the inside today. RIP.

  • http://thebasketbaljones.net J.E. Skeets
  • David

    Is Gooden on the list of players that need a better nickname? Does his name now have to be duck-related?

  • tprince22

    omg yessssss! soooo happy!

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    Now that it’s gone, we can officially assess it as the worst hairstyle in NBA history. THE WORST. I don’t care what else you throw out there—Rodman’s Demolition Man, Battier’s scalprows, Kaman’s zombie mullet, Spree’s pigtails—nothing else even came close.

  • Shu

    breaking news huh…?? Must be summertime.

  • http://www.sokofund.org/id20.html Adrian

    Never has a good neck looked so clean.

    Bogut’s hair is pretty hot.

  • http://idunkonthem.blogspot.com/ albie1kenobi

    hey Jack, do you mean Richard Midgley? dude played for Cal in college so now that’s where he’s at. didn’t even know he can run point, but he was a pretty good player here. best of lucks to him.

  • Mo Daddy

    daffy gooden…tweets gooden, etc etc…

  • Alex Demtchenko

    Hey Lang, did you get my email?

  • http://www.myspace.com/whyberickjames Jesus Shuttlesworth

    that thing used to hurt my eyeballs

  • http://www.some-peoples-kids.blogspot.com The Inevitable Muck-up

    This is a severe blow to Gooden’s marketability. Now he’s relegated to playing second fiddle to that other ball player in Cleveland… Whats his name?

  • SA

    Hopefully he rocked it for long enough that it shows up in the 08 video games.
    Oh, and Russ, “scalprows”? I dont think Battier really chose that hairstyle, blame that one on genetics. Dude should really grow his hair out though.


    man im depressed u guys didnt like the ducktail honestly thats why i watched the finals at all


    i better clarify that i was joking cuz if not i think ill get shot

  • Mo Charlo

    Had he done this sooner, the Cavs could have probably eked out one game against the Spurs. Nothing makes a team lose all respect for you that a clown-a$$ haircut. Well, that or Varejao trying to shoot, ever.

  • Danny W UK

    I believe Midgely was playing in Spain before signing with the Eagles. He was a player that could have walked into the England Mens team when he was 14.

    Don’t forget in England we all knew about Amaechi waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before you guys.

    1st time I saw Gooden last season I thought it was a funny looking dude running backwards up court with a soul patch on his chin.

    On another random note, is it just me or does Carlos Boozer look a lot like Burt Reynolds (Bandit era)

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    Man, I forgot about Bogut. Rat tail trumps neck beard.

  • gii

    farewell “mr. ping ping”.

  • vinsanity

    smartest thing drew’s done in a while

  • Demeatloaf

    Sweet, now if only he could grow some balls and learn how to play defense.

  • T. Dowey

    Thanks for an update on the walking haircut malfunction that was Drew Gooden. I was beginning to wonder if I had to buy a cavs ticket and a battery powered buzzer and do away with it myself. I bet I could have gotten Lebron to help hold him down.

  • http://joeloholic.wordpress.com Joel O’s

    “Flypaper for the ladies”, he said. I’m praying Drew scores soon… or he may have second thoughts …!

  • http://breadcity.wordpress.com Jake

    if i remember last family vacation correctly, my dad has a ducktail on his back.

  • http://whitehoteboysworld.blogspot.com white hot eboy

    lol at Jake.

  • Ric Bucher

    Yes the Cabbage patch is gone. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  • Jeronimo

    NBA, where lame ducktails don’t happen no mo’.

  • optimus prime

    Now if we can get rid of that thing Noah has and the mullets around the league there might be a future of the NBA (….Oh yeah still have to win that Olympic thing, oh well…)

  • http://nyctrademarks.com Anthony Verna

    How French. “But it’s 2007.”

  • Ron

    Since the 80s are back real heavy these days, let’s see who comes out this year with a high top fade.

  • Troy Dallas


  • eyehatedirk

    Did he shave it off to give to Rasheed Wallace to cover up that white spot in his head? It looks like someone threw a melting marshmellow at his head.

  • Gooden’s Spine Vagina

    Stupid neck muff or not, it’s too bad he’s still a 25 minute-a-game guy at best. And by the way, I was alive and living in Oakland at the time Gooden claims that stupid 80′s “style” was popular. Gooden, at the time, was still in Pampers. I think he dropped 60′s acid, because he’s full of crap. That was an Oakland “style” only in his own feeble attention-deficit mind. Never happened, never was, never will be.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whyberickjames Jesus Shuttlesworth

    ok then spine vagina

  • http://www.rubensborges.wordpress.com Rubens

    think cavs players woul wear a patch of hair on openning day to honor drew’s ducktail?

  • Allenp

    Whoa Russ, I think Bogut is already challenging Gooden for the crown.

  • Wally Sexybiak

    Now if only we could shave Bill Walton!

  • Crossy

    The ducktail was borderline inappropriate! LOL It’s about time he cut that thing off. I’m a westcoaster so I know we can be “different” at times, but that tail was just not cute. I swear…If I see the flat top “Kid n-Play” style come back I’m gonna scream

  • Brandon

    This needed to happen

  • Seth

    NOOOOOOOO!!!!The curse of the ducktail begins

  • tim presley

    So what is the opening bid on eBay?

    I’ll buy that for a $1.00

  • http://google.com andrew

    i rocked the drew gooden haircut while they were in the finals and ppl loved it…i say drew does what he wants

  • http://www.halfcourtheave.com Sebastian Pruiti

    I think David Stern has a rule where only one rat tail-style hairdoo is allowed per season. I wonder how much Bogut payed Gooden to shave it off.

  • dez

    He still sucks at basketball

  • Gameface

    the head pubes are dead!

  • RPM

    How we feeling about Beckham stepping his game up??

  • Nor-Cal

    damn couldnt pick a better title, hahahahahahahaha come on now “Dead” coulda used something more catchy

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