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Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 5:04 pm  |  33 responses

Chris Wallace and the Early Entries

Not just a bad punk band.

by Ben Collins

Before we get to where the agent-less early-entry candidates stand on their decision day, Chris Wallace was named GM of the Memphis Grizzlies today. If you’re wondering why, like the rest of us, I invite you to his HoopsHype page–a mystical place of wonder and magic!

Look over there! It’s a commemorative plate of when he drafted Chauncey Billups that was given to him from his mother (Rick Pitino) and his grandmother before that (M.L. Carr)! It would’ve been beautiful and timeless, perfect for the collection, had he not given it away midway through the season to Isiah Thomas for the NBA’s equivalent to Gladware in all its infinite disposability. Little Lucky Isiah was then able to trade that plate in for ten years’ worth of bad decisions. Inflation, these days!

Then Chris drafted Paul Pierce! Ah, such a sweet move to pair him with a then-disproportionately large-headed Antoine Walker. They will wiggle their way down the yellow brick road that is the Eastern Conference straight to a championship, he thought. They already have Bruce Bowen, they already have whatever the hell they just got for Chauncey Billups, Chris Wallace just signed a guy named Marion Garnett, who has to be good. I mean, c’mon, look at that guy’s name!

“Just one more player,” he said. “That’s all we need for that first NBA Championship since that Larry guy that everyone keeps talking about.” How about Jerome Moiso? Nope, didn’t pan out. Kedrick Brown? You’re telling me he’s never actually played basketball before? But he said he could touch the ceiling or he’d give us our money back. Yes, any ceiling. Too bad. Joe Forte? He had a jumpshot in college, I swear.

So, Chris thought, hopping along on his merry way all the way up to the tippy-tip top of the enchanting tale that is his HoopsHype page that maybe he just had bad luck with draft picks. Maybe all of the last four were rotten.

So he decided to trade Joe Johnson for Rodney Rogers and Tony Delk. Swift.

These are the Celtics that could have been: Chauncey Billups, Joe Johnson, Paul Pierce and Bruce Bowen.

But Chris, like all other good GMs, decided not to look back on his yellow-brick road that had browned, weeded and cracked to disrepair, continued to hop merrily and yelled joyously, “You know what? Screw it. I’m just gonna trade for Vin Baker.”

And so he did. Now he is a Grizzly. The end.

Now onto the Early Entry candidates who are flipping coins this evening. I’ll try to update this list, but DraftExpress is doing a great job of keeping up with their sources.

Thaddeus Young – Georgia Tech – IN
- Never got the superstar comparisons he draws because his 15-footer needs some work, but he’s uber-gutty with his slashing and has tons of athleticism. I heard his wingspan allows him to touch some low-flying planes, so if you like the Josh Smiths and the Josh Howards of the world (and who doesn’t?), you better be rooting for your mid-lottery team
to take a flyer on the best Yellow Jacket since Chris Bosh.
Dominic James – Marquette – OUT
- One of my favorite players in college hoops because he’s an undersized, volume shooting point guard that could take over the tournament by himself. He had this wretched year, though, where he shot less than 30% from the field for a long period of time, so I don’t even know why he wasted his one year to pull out. He’s a workout warrior, too, so he’ll
never go all that low.
JamesOn Curry – Oklahoma State – IN
- 6’3” shooting guard with a bad record. Usually a horrid decision, but Curry has cleaned up his act and scored 17.2 per at a high clip last year. Another year wouldn’t kill him, but he should be a second rounder this year. Otherwise he’ll keep working on those outstanding warrants!
Marcelus Kemp– Nevada – OUT
- OHMYGODAREYOUONEOFSHAWNKEMP’S72KIDS?
Mike Conley and Daequan Cook – Ohio State – Apparently IN
- Conley’s stock is never going to get this high again, so I like the move. His Dad better get him in the top-7 or he’s so not doing chores for like a week. The fact that Cook has declared screams of a concession to me. His stock is considerably lower than it was in high school proves to me that he just wants to be in the NBA. He could have this Ohio State team to himself next year and could take all the shots he wanted, but he looks like he’s
cutting his losses.
Spencer Hawes and Jason Smith – Washington and Colorado State – IN
- Filling up the Hibbert slot nicely are Hawes and Smith, who have been awesome in workouts (especially the latter). Problem is, there’s only one Hibbert slot. I’m not so sure teams are all that interested in untested project centers in the late lottery anymore (see: any center picked between 7-14 in the last ten years). Andris Biedrins and Andrew Bynum were the only ones that worked out, right? Whatever. Billy Knight is in this lottery so one of them will have a job.
DeVon Hardin – Cal – OUT (SHOCKER)
- Probably the right decision, but a lot of teams didn’t even think he was entertaining the idea of returning and websites were already reporting that he was staying in the draft. Definitely the right decision, though. Hardin is a beast defensively and is a top-7 pick next
year if he can get his stuff together offensively and the 2008 class stays weak.
Nick Young – USC – IN
- OJ Mayo is bad news either way for Nick Young. Either USC sucks because Mayo’s ego overtakes the team, or the Trojans take California by storm and Young is overshadowed by the freshman du jour. Good decision. Good player. Should be a high pick.

Dick Vitale’s Verdict: BAD DECISION (, BABY).

Jeff Green – Georgetown – IN
- There is no wrong move here. He has some obvious offensive limitations that are going to prevent him from going any higher than five this year or next year, but next year’s class is thinner and his athleticism and leadership won’t drop him out of the top-10 next year. If he came back with Roy Hibbert, they’d be immediate favorites for next year, but it really depends on how badly he wants to be in the NBA. I guess he wants it badly enough.
Jaycee Carroll – Utah State – OUT
- Good.
Sean Singletary – Virginia– WE DON’T KNOW
- And it’s really starting to scare us here at SLAM. He had a fantastic year at Virginia last year and flirted with some Player of the Year nominations at midseason, and his 19 points per and 4.7 assists per should be enough for GMs to get over the fact that he’s 5’11”. But it hasn’t happened and now one of the best college players in the country might leave early without a degree and might not get drafted. Somebody get this kid on the phone with Dick Vitale immediately!

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  • Nothin_personal

    first?

  • Nothin_personal

    Turn off the bolt letters please. ask Russ, he did the same once, if you don’t know how.

  • Nothin_personal

    Are we getting aome Slam predraft “inner scoop” or something? Just to get people talking…

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ben Collins

    Yeah, I thought I blew up the Internet. I think I fixed it. Oh sweet, sweet HTML training from 7th grade…

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ben Collins

    Man that makes me look dorky.
    I’m gonna try my best to cover the draft over the next couple of weeks. It’s my favorite day of the year. I’m thinking about doing a mock because everyone loves mock drafts. Seriously, the Hamburglar has an off-shore betting site solely devoted to second round picks.

  • Stuie

    This dosent make sense. Why is there more talk about the memphis GM than the fact the kings are the only team without a head coach. There has to be some speculation about who will get the job that a columnist could put in a post.

  • Nothin_personal

    Nooooo! Just mock the GM’s in advance, one way or another, they are gonna s#3 up! Just throw a couple of (funny) comments about each guy, perhap’s in “Gangsta” order, or likeability, or whatever. Mock drafts are everywhere.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    For the record, a dead guy would have known enough to take Paul Pierce.

  • Dennard

    How in the hell did Chris Wallace get hired by the Grizzlies? I mean look at that track record. If I were an owner I would hire a younger, unproven guy or someone that had some success in the past. Unbelievable.

  • Mongoose

    I really don’t get why people are so low on Jeff Green, he seems to be really talented, but just had the poor showing in one game in the tournament. Atlanta may actually make the smart move and pick up Al Horford instead of Brendan Wright. It sucks they wasted the Shelden Williams pick last year.

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    Great stuff, Ben. I like Dominic James’ athleticism, but I don’t seeing him making an impact in the NBA, ever.

  • Chukaz

    I’m real mad at Dominic James right now. I was thinking that the Miami Heat could take him. Now what I mean? The guy’s pretty good, but he ain’t that good so they could get him with the 20th pick or whatever it is that they have. Miami would be good for him ’cause Flash and him would be able to share the PG position (Dominic ain’t no PG) and the Heat would be able to replace J-Will who’s knees might blow up on any second.

  • bert

    hopefully that punk Singletary dont get drafted

  • Pingback: » Draft begins - SLAM ONLINE

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Ben Collins, I think you are funny. However, Ben Collins, I am disappointed that no one has yet apparently instructed you on our magazine’s style; on all references, it should be “Former SLAM Diary keeper Thaddeus Young.” At least until he’s underwhelming in the League, in which case, like Mike Dunleavy, Eddy Curry, and that kid from Brooklyn, you can drop the prefix. If it happens again, Khalid gets to beat you with the contents of the race drawer. And you NEVER know what the f*ck you might find in there.

  • Paps

    The Gatorade ad keeps flashing in Safari. You web guys need test cross platforms.

  • rob stewart

    For some reason I just wanted to know if anybody remebers Virginia’s backcourt of Harold Deane and Curtis Staples. That was a fire backcourt. I’m suprised neither one of those guys made it to the league.

  • rob stewart

    according to ESPN.com Sean Singletary is staying in school

  • H to the izzo

    I really think that DaeQuan Cook should stay in school-he could have a so-so season next year and be a garaunteed lottery pick but this year I can see him fall to mid-second round this year at worst-he’s too good a player for that.Same goes for JamesOn Curry at risk of being undrafted this season-possible first rounder next.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    I had completely forgotten that Eddy Curry was ever a SLAM diary keeper. Amazing. And by “the kid from Brooklyn” you mean Mos Def? Sandy Koufax? Mars Blackmon? I have no idea what you’re referring to.

  • http://slamonline.com Ben Osborne

    Ben Collins got HTML Training in the 7th grade?? When I was in 7th grade I couldn’t even spell HTML.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    I meant Christopher Wallace, though not the one mentioned at the top of this page. You have to admit he’s fallen off.

  • H to the izzo

    Wow Ryan Wow.You’re the devil

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    It’s like Kobe says, izzo: “Kick in the do’, wavin’ the flow flow.”
    THAT, my friend, is blasphemy. Thug poet, indeed.

  • H to the izzo

    Referencing Kobe’s rapping career shows that you have no respect for your fellow man.Must of us had forgotten about it.Do you know how much Talib Kweli I’ll have to listen to-to undo the damage?Its UnCommonly Nasty time

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ryan Jones

    Sorry, dude. Just be glad I didn’t link to an audio file of Tyra singing the hook to K.O.B.E.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ben Collins

    I tried to find a “better” picture of Chris Wallace (although I think the deer in headlights look suits him well), but that a’hole from Fox News keeps coming up. After a while I just got very angry and started rapidly buying tickets to that new Michael Moore movie.

  • http://www.nba.com Both Teams Played Hard

    funny how you got julian wright in the mag, along with florida guys and durant. cuz ku beat florida this past season and twice beat durant, one being in the big 12 championship.

  • Boing Dynasty’s first grade English teacher

    Funny?

  • Stuie

    This spells trouble for the kings. Are the kings that hopless that no one wants to talk about them all together. At some point slam has to write something at all about the coaching sitiouation. Not even one person other then myslef has said anything about them. Why Dont people say something about them. Someone please tell me.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Cub Buenning

    Ben (EIC), I thought the same thing about BC’s 7th grade reference. HTML? I was taking typing class on an actual typewriter back then. Well done BCollins! I have some draft stuff to come in a couple of days. Jeff Green will be a great pro, the doubters need to wise up….

  • bigmike407

    To rob stewart: I remember those guys well. They were a highly productive college backcourt. But it’s strange how Deane, Staples, Forte, Harold Miner, Cory Alexander, Ed Cota, and Jeff Trepaigner, and numerous other guards kill in college and either miss the league or can’t stay in the league for long. Makes you wonder what those “experts” see.

  • http://www.insidehoops.com Jeff_InsideHoops

    SECOND

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