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Friday, January 2nd, 2009 at 9:00 am  |  50 responses

The Police Got Between Sir Charles and Some Good Lovin’

by Marcel Mutoni

With the holidays not exactly being conducive to timely blogging, you’ll have to forgive me for being a couple of days late on this. What I won’t apologize for, though, is the sheer awesomeness of the following story.

Here’s what Charles Barkley told the cops after he got taken into custody on suspicion of DUI earlier this week. The Smoking Gun (providers of Internet humiliation to celebrities for over a decade) has the sordid details:

Following his arrest earlier today for drunk driving, Charles Barkley told Arizona cops that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up a girl who had “given him a ‘blow job’ one week earlier,” which the former NBA star described as “the best one he had ever had in his life.”

“You want the truth? I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job,” answered Barkley, who is pictured in the below mug shot. A cooperative Barkley also joked with a civilian police employee that, “I’ll tattoo your name on my ass” if it would get him out of the DUI charge.

See, it’s stuff like this that has me convinced that Sir Charles is one of the most purely entertaining figures of my lifetime.

What remains to be seen is how the producers on TNT will deal with this latest embarrassing story from their Inside the NBA star.

Charles Barkley solemnly apologizing for running a stop sign in a desperate attempt to get some special attention paid to his genitals would obviously be one of the great moments in television history, but that’s probably asking for a bit too much.

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  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Sometimes, the truth is stranger than fiction. lol.

  • http://deleted B. Long

    Well we’ve all been there.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Thats pretty damn funny.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    I was going to joke about McLovin’ or something… but decided against it.

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    He’s a role model now.

  • http://deleted B. Long

    Some girls will do anything to get in Chuck’s Fav Five.

  • http://deleted B. Long

    Chuck:Now THAT is what I call eating the head!

  • Diggy

    What would we do without Barkley?

  • http://hoops4life.com overtime

    The NBA, where Charles Barkley happens

  • http://www.where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    Where did my comment go?

  • http://www.where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    You’d think that Chuck could afford a limo or at least a cab to take him to his drunken b00ty calls, but you’d be forgetting about those tabs in Las Vegas.

  • Captain America

    That’s Charlie, thinking with the little head instead of the big one. TNT or TNA

  • tom

    i wanna hang out with chuck!

  • BJ Armstrong

    Police found bear claw donuts in Barkley’s car, so Sir Charles should have said that he was in a hurry to feed the hungry young woman on the sidewalk.

  • Ron

    This is why I love Barkley. If this were Jordan or any of the others who cares about their public image, they would have took the walk of shame and offered an apology to those that idolize them and went on with their lives. Not Sir Charles. I’m quite surely he laughed and joked about this the whole time taking it all in stride and offered up some great quotes while at it. Thank you Charles Barkley.

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

    Charles is wild.
    And who is this girl? She must be the Superhead of Arizona. Considering how long Charles Barkely has been a celebrity, for him to get the best head of his life in 2008 means this girl is outstanding!

  • http://www.where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    ^LMAO

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    Ernie Johnson envies the Chuckster even more now.

  • vtrobot

    I think one of the greatest statement ever uttered by man was when Charles responded to the judge’s question of whether he had any regrets after being arrested for throwing a man through the front window of a bar. He said he regretted not being on a higher floor. Genius. Suns/Bulls Finals – still the greatest ever. Chuck, get well soon.

  • http://www.mybleedingfingertips.blogspot.com/ Myles Brown

    The difference between MJ and Chuck is that MJ has been doing this for years but never been caught. And certainly wouldnt be dumb/brazen enough to tell the police about it. But Charles and Mike will have a bit more in common soon enough. Right after his wife takes him to the cleaners too.

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Guv’na? Your six pm BJ-appointement is here….

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    i was gettin some i was i was gettin some head.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    or “first you get her name, then you get her number, then you get some brain in the front seat of the hummer”

  • Gumdrop

    The final nail in the coffin of his proposed political career.

  • Static

    “Suck my (little) Chuck!”

  • http://www.toronto.com Mr. 416

    this is just turrrrerble……..

  • http://www.alllooksame.com Tarzan Cooper

    hahahahahaha

  • http://www.kicksonfire.com Anton

    I did not have sex with that woman…I tried to but y’all pulled me over!

  • http://www.bbl.org.uk Josh D

    Stay Classy, Chuck

  • Eric B

    Barkley is a Joke. And he wants to run for public Office back in Alabama! Give me a break! TNT should suspend him with no pay, and gradually phase him out. It would be in the best interest of “the fan” of all ages.

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Big Man

    Damn, he should get fired for a DUI and the quest for head?
    That’s hardcore right there. I hope you never get caught drinking and driving because that the only law he actually broke. I didn’t know a DUI was a firing offense. I’ve seen far too many people drive after drinking to ever think that.
    If Chuck is married, this is for he and his wife to work out. If he’s not married, it’s for he and his God to work out.
    Now when is somebody going to put Hoover mouth on blast? The world needs to know this woman’s name.

  • casey

    Who said it was a she? Maybe the reason we haven’t heard “her” name is because she’s a he. But, then again, maybe that’s just me being a hater. Either way, I really don’t believe someone with his status would be going “around the corner” for some head. Seriously, if you were Barkley, would you? Exactly.

  • Jose

    you think he called wade after he got arrested?

    but the t-mobile ppl have new material to work wit now

    seriously tho bad move chuck

  • http://www.kicksonfire.com Anton

    MJ got head on the court but no one ever saw cause he was that damn good

  • Krishan

    COMMENTS CLOSED BAD-JOKE-LIMIT REACHED

  • EC

    Barkley would have called a cab but he can only call people in his Fave Five

  • rav

    to those who are saying that this incident will kill off his political career – you are aware that the current two-term president of the USA has a drink-driving conviction?

  • http://www.where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com/ B. Long

    ^And a well documented cocaine addiction throughout his twenties.

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Allenp

    And he was a philanderer before he met his current wife.
    And he eats babies.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Um, good point Allenp?

  • http://thesportsdiaryonline.blogspot.com Roy

    Oh wow! Sir Charles is the man and he’s LOVIN’ it!!! :D

  • Eric B

    TNT should fire the fat bomb. Who whats to listen to the low-life. The guy stands for nothing and represents nothing, except his self. If I wanted to hear what guys have to say about the NBA from the likes of Barkley, all I have to do is go down to the block, where they all hang out on the corner. The only difference between them and Charles is money. The boys on the block never had the opportunity to make better persons of themselves like Barkley had. And so, all TNT can do is to insult us with a rich fat lowlife bomb.

  • Ole M

    He’s 1000% innocent!

  • Jacob

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!! Let him go!!!!!

  • Jacob

    Charles Barkley is a man and hs 40!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is seriously hilarious

  • Coconut

    “Ron Jurrremy must be rollin over in his grave”

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    Will there be an article about this in the next issue of SLAM mag…? I aint buying it… :/

  • http://slam Swish

    That’s turrible,
    That is straight up turrible lol

  • Rome

    MJ got plenty of head from coaches, ref’s, Emperor Palpatine (Stern), opponents, and especially fans and groupies!!!!

    MAY MY SPIT BE UPON HIM!!!!

  • Boston Baller

    If people are going to lay into a guy and really trash him they should get a better grasp on the English language…Butchering a player and a language at the same time is cause to get fired…LOL

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