Thursday, March 26th, 2009 at 9:00 am  |  53 responses

Vanessa Bryant: Worst.Boss.Ever

Allegedly, of course: “Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who claims Vanessa was incredibly abusive — even demanding that she put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve a tag from her blouse … so Vanessa could deduct the cost of the blouse from the maid’s salary! Maria Jimenez claims Vanessa called her ‘lazy, slow, dumb, a f—ing liar, and f—ing sh-t.’ In the lawsuit filed in Superior Court in Orange County, Jimenez claims Vanessa accused her of stealing her (mouth) retainer. Jimenez says it got so bad — Vanessa allegedly “badgered, harassed and humiliated Maria by yelling and screaming at Maria and criticizing her in front of Kobe, the Bryants’ children, employees and other people in the household” — she threatened to quit but Kobe talked her out of it.”

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  • Gumdrop


  • Gumdrop

    I’m gonna take my own advice, and not jump to any conclusions on this one.

  • I knew it

    I knew she always had a screw loose, and I know Kobe still wishes he got the prenup lol

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    I am. This story doesn’t surprise me one bit. Some people you just know…you know?

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    Best news of the week.

  • adams

    The Bryants keep bags of dog feces at their house? I’m not surprised.

  • Fred34

    see? I knew it wasn’t Kobe’s fault. She’s the one

  • thesubwayconnection

    Seems to fit the profile. Why else would it take a 4 million dollar ring?

  • http://www.twitter.com/mansonovic Andy

    This will never happen, when LeBron gets married, you know…

  • http://sfdjilf.com Jukai

    Andy is taking my shtick.

  • http://ittakesanationofmillionstoholdthissac.blogspot.com ciolkstar

    Wow, not that surprising though. She has always seemed like a monster b1tch.

  • Prison Mike

    Kobe “talked” her out of it alright ;)
    He is the master of interpersonal relationships. Must be all that Zen he learns from Phil.

  • Static

    Looks like she learned Making Friends 101 from her husband…wonder how many teammates heard the same ish from the Mamba

  • http://www.twitter.com/mansonovic Andy

    Maybe they should just give her one of Kobe’s new range of watches. That should be enough to keep her quiet.

  • The Starks Knight

    Maybe Karl Malone was right…

  • http://www.manutd.com Z

    Could be true, could be completely false. Maybe Mrs Bryant did call her all those names in a heated argument where the maid was name-calling as well… or maybe she’s just a effin dbag. He say/She say. Meh.

  • http://double-technical.blogspot.com Zee!

    I got 99 problems but Vanessa ain’t 1.

  • Chris

    Vanessa Bryant can call me anything she wants…

  • http://www.lkz.ch Darksaber

    Just look at her…closely. Especially the eyes. Now try, try to delete her insane hotness out of your mind for a sec, focus back on the eyes (also very nice btw)…got it? Good. See the sign in there that says: crazy spoilt arrogant b*atch? Good. As TAD said, some people, you just know.

  • http://www.alllooksame.com Tarzan Cooper

    adams for the win!

  • haters all over the world

    damn people hate Kobe that much that they have to compare this stupid thing that has nothing to do w/ him and use it as an example to why he isn’t a good teammate? the only reason Kobe is in the mix cuz he has the money. It didn’t say Kobe called her names and how do you know Lebron would never let that happen?? wtf damn get a life and stop hating… smh people are stupid, People look for what ever reason to hate on this guy!!

  • Rome

    I’ve seen stories aobut her conduct while she’s out shopping, she can be mean, but I think this maid is embellishing this stuff..

  • Rome

    When you’re married to a rich spouse, what do you need a maid for? you aint gotta work, YOU could be cleaning your own house!!!

  • http://www.twitter.com/TheDiesel Anton

    The worst possible retribution I can think of for the Bryants is for me to date his daughter. Then the other one.

  • Pingback: SLAM ONLINE |

  • http://where-basketball-b-longs.blogspot.com B. Long

    ^I’m calling “To Catch a Predator”.

  • floe

    real classy. this makes my blood boil.

  • http://www.blogs.myspace.com/originadro Witness

    sounds like kobes wife.

  • http://vnsny.org Spaceship Jay

    Just keep her at home Kobz. Keep her at home.

  • nate james

    haha whats worse. kobes wife calling an immigrant names, or chris bosh being a dead beat dad?
    atleast kobes their for his kids.

  • nate james
  • Jackie Moon

    He could’ve been MJ if not for Vanessa

  • donlaker

    Who doesnt yell at there help, my housekeeper has done some way out sh*t, and i didnt kik her to the curb, but i did call her a stupid dog walker
    (the leash is to keep the dog from running into the street) i didnt sue her punk ass for braking my $ 2,000 LES PAUL CUSTOM GOLD TOP GUITAR..
    SO KOB’S WIFE yell at whoever you pay….
    who cares anyway…………

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com BETCATS

    ^you poor rich man. What, did Bernard Madoff steal all your money too?

  • J.B

    crazy biatch.

  • that dude

    Lebron is stronger with his woman game and keeps b*tches in check while still remaining within the team framework.

  • Kadavour

    Lmao @ that dude

  • http://bielasiakville.blogspot.com/ Jesse Bielasiak

    Ah, so Kobe’s the good guy? That doesn’t sound right. But refreshing yes.

    co-signing that dude

  • tk says ivo is fakin!

    what did karl malone say stark?

  • http://www.benfolds.com/acappella Dacre

    * the next day at LAKERS training *
    Hey…Machine!… Come get my arm band out of this bag of dog cr@p!…!!

  • L33tSauce


  • Blinguo

    Karl Malone is right about a buncha things, you never hear about the most right ones until way later – like I did this NBA season about his logging company driving down to Katrina days after the hurricane to help build home with his lumber co. But I forgot to ask in the Kobe Issue topic when it came up about issue sales and the Lakers, “So how well did that Karl Malone Lakers issue sell?” He probably wasn’t right for SLAM’s cover as a Laker. Adding to the long run of No UTAH covers baby!

  • chintao

    @ Jackie Moon Posted: Mar.26 at 4:44 pm ==> Word? Naw, man. Maybe Blowbe is only this good BECAUSE of Vanessa. After all, people do claim that he plays better when he’s in turmoil. Every night, he prolly steps on the court thinking, “I’ma make that biatch pay,” then imagines her face on his opponents torsos.

  • chintao

    I am very frightened that there is anyone who thinks that Karl Malone has been “right about a buncha things”. Even being “right about a few things” would be a stretch for the Mailman.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    I was waiting for the ‘oh she’s an illegal immigrant who cares’ comment.
    Looks like slamonline is shaping up! Yay!

  • donlaker

    @ betcat no bernie didnt get at my cash
    but i did spend it on a subscription to slam magazine……

  • Blinguo

    “Karl Malone says..” an infamous quote punchline, I do remember that. But if you had provided any examples, I could recall what’s wrong about him since its been quite a while since I heard anything out of him, thus why I wanted to mention the Katrina philanthropy to those that don’t know and his SLAM cover again for not saying it last time. And such a help can cover up a lot of crap he’s simply said. As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words, even in a different execution par the course for the phrase(like Shaq’s “I baited you, so, do something about it then”). You’re frightened all too quickly by the mere difference between “some” and “buncha” of which are quite interchangeable. But I do mix up couple with some, considering people take couple literally as only 2 and I have heard couple is loosely for more than just 2. And I used buncha for simply one example of good rather than more than one.

  • ljw

    Making a poor woman work off $690 to pay for a Blouse that she was washing for you is the sickness thing, when you husband makes $82 a second and you dont work.

    What has Ms Bryant ever done to feel so high and mighty?

    Didnt she marry Kobe right out of HighSchool?

    According to StatCraze.com

    The following is a break down of what the Lakers are paying Kobe:

    $19,428,571 – a year.
    $236,933 per game – (82 games a year)
    $4,936 per minute – (48 Minutes in a game)
    $82 per second – (60 seconds in a minute)

    If Kobe was an average working American –

    {2,080 – working hours in a year.}

    $19,428,571 / 2,080 hours = $9,340 per hour of every working day.

    And he wants a trade??

    Kobe, when the Lakers said goodbye to Shaq – they said Hello to you – Forever!! And that is why they are paying you $82 a second. No matter if you are playing at that moment in the game or not. You are getting $82 per second!!

    And you can complain??

    We heard you all over the radio, and T.V. Whining, and complaining, boo -hoo poor me, look at me, feel sorry for me. Well we don’t Kobe. The Lakers have gone to great lengths to keep you there and to keep some talent around you. Now this year when they have Bynum, Odom, Kwame, Luke Walton, Farmar, etc. They are finally starting to build some depth.

    And you want to Leave?

    Get over yourself Kobe. You could have gone down as one of the 10 best players – since the year 2,000 – to play in the NBA. But you want to keep doing this crazy stuff to ruin it.

    You owe it to yourself and to the Lakers to stay and TRY to win a Championship.

    They pay you $82 a second…

  • donlaker

    kwame ….kwame damn that m.j. guy

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Allenp

    Counting another man’s money is a sign of weakness….

  • chintao

    @ Blinguo ==> Point taken… I think. You kind of lost me near the end there. Anyway, I feel you on wanting to show a different side of Malone. He’s too easy to turn into a caricature. As far as his recent antics, SLAMonline recently posted an appearance by him on Fox News. If you can find it, that should help you recall why many people shudder every time he opens his mouth.

  • Alan

    this ain’t news.

    c’mon, go out there and get some real news. Who cares about Kobe’s private life? I don’t, I can tell you. But tell me everything if it’s about basketball….

  • chintao

    ^ I like to hear about people off the court. It helps me decide if I like them enough to support them on the court.