Friday, May 8th, 2009 at 10:30 am  |  26 responses

Jazz Tell AK-47 to Fatten Up

Utah’s front office wants their small forward to get rid of the supermodel physique: “In his year-end performance evaluation, the lean and lanky Russian athlete was told he needed to pack on some pounds. Jazz bosses are hoping the small forward doesn’t return next season as such a, well, small forward. They want more beef on his bones. Those might be welcome words for many people, who could probably also handle the $16 million paycheck awaiting him after his offseason of pumping iron and plumping up. But for Kirilenko, this news wasn’t exactly easy to swallow. He started the 2008-09 season weighing 226 pounds and said he shed eight pounds over the course of the hectic NBA year. Kirilenko didn’t view his weight as a problem. For one thing, he’s a basketball player, not a heavyweight boxer — despite some resemblances that suggest otherwise. Plus, his weight loss followed a predictable pattern in which he usually drops about 10 pounds a season. ‘I never feel like it’s been an issue,’ Kirilenko said. ‘I’ve never concentrate on that in my life and in my career, but obviously it’s been brought up to my attention so I will try to concentrate on that a little bit more. I will do whatever possible, whatever coach wants from me.’”

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  • http://ittakesanationofmillionstoholdthissac.blogspot.com ciolkstar

    I bet he comes in at the same weight he always weighs. kirilenko is crazy talentded, and for a while there was one of the most versatile defenders in the game, but I’ve never felt like he was especially dedicated. Definitely doesn’t come close to the work ethic of guys like Dirk or (old school alert!)Detlef Schrempf.

  • http://theghostofroyhobbs.blogspot.com Mo Charlo

    They didn’t tell Mehmet to lose weight?

  • Squirrel7

    Combined, him and Memo DO make up 2 players. Unfortunately, AK47 only accounts for about 3/4 of one person, and Okur is the one carrying the extra baggage.

  • http://www.fapper.com nate the great

    they need wafer to win.

  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    He should spend the whole summer drinking vodka and eating pierogis and report next year at like 350 pounds.

  • sixersforlife_85

    ^I don’t think wafers are the answer here. He needs steak.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Blinguo

    So maybe Piroshki’s inbetween meals all day, snack, anytime. And 350 lb Russian is more on the Zangief level than Dolph Lundgren, no? The real life Shaqovic then, sorry all you “baby Shaqs.”

  • http://www.slamonline.com Blinguo

    And they don’t think they can possibly lose some “dead weight” in Boozer via options like trade after Paul Milsap stepped in pretty equally in his place and wasn’t as good off the bench when he returned?

  • http://www.twitter.com/TheDiesel Anton

    Remember that guy from Wolverine?

  • underdog

    He just needs to hang out more with Eddie Curry

  • http://dillanleuyahoo.com Holy Baller

    Darn you underdog, I’m 3 minutes late and you’ve taken my line.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ Moose

    Good idea too.

  • Scott

    He can fatten up with a slice of pizza I guess…

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  • http://www.slamonline.com wayno

    Start him on the Tayshaun Prince diet…oh wait…

  • Jopex

    hey how about a drinking session with barkley and kemp while they drop him some 1-0-1 tips to fatten up….

  • rob stewart

    He does remimnd me of the guy that beat down Rocky in Rocky IV

  • nastierthanyou

    @ Rob Stewart Watch yourself and step your game up that would be Ivan Drag and anything he hits he destroys.

  • nastierthanyou

    Ivan Drago my bad and Creatine and Testosterone will do the job nicely

  • FLUD

    @Rob…. man…you’re givin’ Rod a bad name. seriously

  • http://www.myspace.com/linkstigatorkevin Kevin Wilson

    Maybe the Jazz could hire Chris Childs as a special nutritionist.

  • Sesa

    I think weight was never an issue with AK. He needed to beef up his work ethics.

  • Quail

    he needs to eat nothin but steak on bread and broccoli, then go to the weight room and work his ass off.

  • Holiday

    They should try to trade him for Shane Battier!

  • andrew

    this is great! my words to drago i mean ak is.. “if i can change, you can change.. everybody can change!”

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre