Friday, July 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am  |  24 responses

Mike Miller Reminisces About His Pet Monkey

Yep, just what the Wizards needed. Another character: “Like, the oft-told tale about when Miller got a phone call saying his monkey was on the loose? ‘Oh yeah, that was a trip,’ Miller said. ‘You would always put him in his room, and then we’d lock the door, and then we’d put the dogs out, and then we’d lock the front door. Well, he found out how to unlock doors, unlocked his door, went downstairs, let the dogs in the house and opened the front door. About an hour later we got a call from our neighbors, saying, ‘Your monkey is riding your dogs around the neighborhood.’…I said, ‘C’mon y’all, y’all got to get in the house.’”

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  • Ken

    Hooray for off-season NBA news.

  • http://dillanleuyahoo.com Holy Baller

    The title alone was enough to deserve a comment. This is a pretty hilarious story though. Gotta love monkeys.

  • http://www.hibachi20.blogspot.com Hursty

    Hahaha, thats gold!
    First sentence was exactly what I was thinking of as the page was loading too lol.

  • http://adfji.com Jukai

    “Well, he jumped,” Miller said. “That man got bunnies, he jumped like DeShawn Stevenson and them guys.”
    Maybe the Wizards should sign the monkey to a ten-day contract? Gotta be better than Mike James.

  • http://adfji.com Jukai

    “T- Mac bet me I wouldn’t put it in braids,” said Miller, who responded by growing his hair for months. “I put it in braids, but let me tell you something, I couldn’t sleep that night. It felt like my damn forehead was talking to me that night. See, I’ve got that soft hair, I had little flares everywhere. I said, ‘Man, I’m gonna show up at shootaround, but I look like a clown.’ I looked like a clown. I wore them that night, I took them out after shootaround, because I couldn’t do it any more.”
    Wow… I have a new favorite player.

  • http://www.another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    I read that article yesterday, and there hasn’t been anything funnier basketball related (or monkey related) this summer. Brilliant.

  • Fleezy

    @ken “Hooray for off-season NBA news.”


  • riggs

    this reminds me of dave chappelles standup

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Blinguo

    They should play Brass Monkey(that Funky Monkey) down in Washington now.

  • http://www.hoopsmanifesto.blogspot.com Jeff Fox

    I can’t believe I lived this long without hearing about his monkey. Totally rad. Plus if you read the whole story, his grammar should make all U of Florida grad proud! Sounds like he was a true “student-athlete”!

  • nicko

    @riggs……”do you know how strong a monkey is?” a monkey is so strong it would rip your di** off and throw it in the tall grass.”

  • http://slamonline.com Brad Long

    ^Chappelle at the Filmore. Classic.

  • Krishan

    Oh July, you really are the best month for basketball!

  • nicko


  • http://www.alllooksame.com Tarzan Cooper

    dr. shakalu got me this monkey, and this guy is gonna teach monkey taekwondo.

  • Josh D

    When he says trip which kind does he mean?

  • http://slamonline Blaze

    What a bad monkey, that monkey needs to be spunk…. uh ha ha ha ha. (sorry, couldnt resist a classic beavis+butthead post)

  • http://slamonline.com/ niQ

    I suddenly want a pet monkey. I wonder how often vets see monkeys at their clinics..

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    “I didn’t want him deucing in the house,”
    roflol…number 2 baby!

  • http://slamonline Blaze

    Heard monkeys make horrible pets. They hide all your stuff, and fling poo.

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    Blaze – Shaq was doing that all last season to Louis Amudson.

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com Blinguo

    In addition to jumping on top of him and shaving his head with clippers too. Shaqyl and Hyde. Sideshow should be the next candidate for such Shaq-antics, and it would make his flopping less pronounced (no whiplash prounced or bobbing stand up punching bag like hair reverbs when the refs look over late after the contact) and the rest of the league hate the guy (a little) less with his poofy doo gone, which is why it won’t happen. Probably in his contract.

  • $tev3

    Did he die?
    If not then why write bout it

  • Teddy-the-Bear