Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 1:48 pm  |  62 responses

Free Agent Circus

Stalley puts the word ‘crazy’ into a ‘crazy offseason.’

by StalleyChris Bosh

Bosh to Heat
He’s no help to the Heat because he’s just another Udonis Haslem. I really don’t understand the hype about Chris Bosh. He’s never won a championship and has been overhyped from college to the pros. I don’t know how people equate winning with Chris Bosh. I really think he’s a bum.

Boozer to Bulls
This was good pick up for the Bulls even though he’s not a great defensive player, but it doesn’t matter in the East because there aren’t a lot of big guys to cover, other than KG and they have Joakim Noah for that. He’s a double-double guy and a good pick up for them.

Amar’e to Knicks
He’s a good pick up for the Knicks, but I don’t think he’s really a franchise player, even though the Knicks may. He’s definitely not the one to turn the organization into a winning one. He’s a good pick up, but they still need a lot of pieces. He’s a good defender, scores and rebounds, but I can’t see him making anyone better around, but he will make the team better. That’s why he’s not a franchise player because he really won’t make everyone around him better.

Mike Miller to Heat
I think he would be a good sixth man, and he still may be a sixth man, so in that case he’s cool. But he can only shoot. He can’t really guard anyone, but he’ll spread the floor with the penetration of LeBron and Wade. Miller’s someone they can kick it out to.

Jermaine O’Neal to Celts
If he stays healthy, he’s a good pick up since he can get 10 and 10 and he can defend a 4 or 5. He also has a nice outside shot. The key for him is to just stay healthy. He’s also a good backup to rest Kendrick Perkins and pair with Big Baby.

Kyle Korver to Bulls
He’s a good pick up for the Bulls and they may have done the best in the offseason. They needed a shooter, and he’s not a defensive liability. He’ll put some points up and they don’t really have a Jon Paxson/Steve Kerr kind of dude. He’s bigger than bTyson Chandleroth of them.

Tyson Chandler to Mavs
Good pickup, but who cares. The Mavs always get good pieces, but never do anything with them. They always fail to overcome their intangibles and are never a playoff threat really. Cuban always does a good job of bringing in players, but does he make the team much better? No.

Ray Felton to Knicks
Nah, that’s Marbury part 2 without the head case. He is a better guard than Chris Duhon though and an upgrade. He can run the offense a little better

David Lee to GS
This a great pickup for Golden State. He was one of the top free agents and he’s gotten better every year. He’s good for a double-double, and he’ll be good on the West Coast. They have good pieces over there, so I think he definitely helps them.

Quentin Richardson to Magic
Who cares; he’s not helping. Just like Vince Carter didn’t help. He’s slow and fat now and doesn’t have the shooting touch he once had so I don’t see him as being much help to the Magic.

Corey Maggette to Bucks
That’s a good pick up in the East. I don’t know if he’ll start or come off the bench, but Maggette is good. He can’t replace Mike Redd, but he can score a little and rebound so that’ll help them a little. He’s not a big difference maker, but he’ll help. You can throw him on a Lebron or DWade though defensively since he likes to get physical.

Hedo Turkoglu to Suns
This is a great pick up for the Suns since he’s been killin’ it the past couple years. His build as a 6-10 shooting guard is crazy. Hedo, Nash and Jason Richardson is a nice little backcourt. JRich can slash and shoot outside, so can Hedo. He’s definitely a good pick up offensively, and Nash can count on him more than Grant Hill.

Samuel Dalembert to Kings
He ain’t doin’ nothin’, but he definitely helps the Kings because I don’t even know who their center was last year. Wasn’t their last good center Olden Polynice? I’m joking, but he’s a good pick up for them to go with Tyreke Evans. But at least he can rebound and play a little defense.

Kirk Hinrich to Wizards
This is definitely a good guard pick up for them to have in the back court with John Wall. They play a similar position, but Hinrich is an underrated defender, he can shoot, drive and pass the ball. I wonder if they’ll start them together though because that would be a small backcourt.

Check out all things Stalley at myspace.com/madstalley and download his critically acclaimed project The Autobiography. Stalley also has a show on Creative Control called “The Milq” so come see what Stalley has been up to. And if you wanna get a little more friendly, say hello to Stalley on Facebook.

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  • niQ Posted: Jul.22 at 1:55 pm
    I completely forgot the Kings have Dalembert…

  • Shanoooooo Posted: Jul.22 at 2:01 pm
    Duh !!! Kevin Martin is on the Rockets since the trade deadline ? But Hopefully Dalembert allows Cousins to start at the power foward.

  • Enigmatic Posted: Jul.22 at 2:22 pm
    Yeah, Kevin Martin’s with the Rockets and uh, did you watch Hedo play at all last year? But other than those two blunders, this was a good read.

  • Eboy Posted: Jul.22 at 2:32 pm
    Was this written by a 12 year old? Not even a clause that says they won’t be discussing Lebron’s free-agency move? Ok. Chris Bosh is a bum, but Carlos Boozer is a good move? OK again.

  • D Posted: Jul.22 at 2:38 pm
    amare is a good defender and rebounds…..right…

  • pablasso Posted: Jul.22 at 2:40 pm
    Look ma! someone called Amar’e a “good defender”

  • AlbertBarr Posted: Jul.22 at 2:49 pm
    This was terrible. Do you even watch basketball?

  • SchW Posted: Jul.22 at 2:55 pm
    This was one turrible piece of writing. Amare good at playin´ D…? Yeah right…

  • Eboy Posted: Jul.22 at 2:58 pm
    “Quentin Richardson to Magic
    Who cares; he’s not helping. Just like Vince Carter didn’t help. He’s slow and fat now and doesn’t have the shooting touch he once had so I don’t see him as being much help to the Magic.” Perhaps you’ve missed Q over the last year and a half. He is ripped and far from fat. He WILL contribute to the Magic too. Why is this drivel still up?

  • Eboy Posted: Jul.22 at 3:01 pm
    “He’s no help to the Heat because he’s just another Udonis Haslem.”

  • Eboy Posted: Jul.22 at 3:03 pm
    “He’ll put some points up and they don’t really have a Jon Paxson/Steve Kerr kind of dude. He’s bigger than both of them.” Uhm…is Michael Jordan coming out of retirement to carry Kyle Korver to a title?

  • estoniandude Posted: Jul.22 at 3:11 pm
    dumdeal… wrong about amare, and i think you need to update youre information abou kevin martin.. i think you got it right maybe about one or two players.

  • Slick Ric Posted: Jul.22 at 3:13 pm
    ^^^Too much Hatred can kill you…Go Bulls!!!

  • Oli Posted: Jul.22 at 3:15 pm
    remember the guys from tnt joking about stat?
    kenny: “what do you call a power forward that only grabs 6 boards?”
    chuck: “a small forward.”
    and since when is he a good defender???

  • aarab Posted: Jul.22 at 3:16 pm
    Wow! This commentary is getting heated lol. Its just an opinion folks don’t get ur boxer briefs into a bunch.

  • Boing Dynasty Posted: Jul.22 at 3:19 pm
    This was …somthing?? Who knew Hedu has been “killin it”, I would say stick to rapping, but your not very good at that either.

  • D Posted: Jul.22 at 3:27 pm
    whaha kevin martin and tyreke evans. hilarious!

  • Durrell Posted: Jul.22 at 3:30 pm
    This guy is a joke. Wall and Hinrich play a “similar” position? Duh! Kevin Martin on the Kings?? C’mon son.

  • Dan Posted: Jul.22 at 4:04 pm
    LOL leave the man alone, not everyone scrutinizes every single transaction that goes on in the NBA like you b-ball nerds…

  • chingy Posted: Jul.22 at 4:06 pm
    From Ryan’s piece to this piece? Com’on slam…

  • estoniandude Posted: Jul.22 at 4:09 pm
    @Dan stay out of it… its personal, when the transaction was made six months ago-.-

  • AlbertBarr Posted: Jul.22 at 4:17 pm
    to those who say leave the writer of the article alone: why should we, we come here to read KNOWLEDGEABLE opinions on basketball…not the musings of some a$$hole who doesnt even know what teams the people he is writing about are on. The only sane thing written was the tidbit about boozer…wait, that is kind of stupid too considering he said there are no big men that need to be guarded in the east. Josh Smith, Al horford, STAT, Big Baby, D.Howard, Bogut…the list goes on and on for bigs that boozer cant defend.

  • jmart Posted: Jul.22 at 4:26 pm
    yo stalley,
    diggin’ your music!!
    stick to your day job…

  • Boing Dynasty Posted: Jul.22 at 4:36 pm
    @Dan, maybe you didnt notice this post is on a basketball website, and happenes to be entirely about transactions.

  • myri Posted: Jul.22 at 4:44 pm
    @AlbertBarr LOL at ‘a$$hole’. Are u commenting from a sidekick 2?

  • Drew Posted: Jul.22 at 5:20 pm
    Saying Amare is a good defender is a joke. LMAO!!!

  • T-Money Posted: Jul.22 at 5:22 pm
    that article was trash. seriously. mike miller can only shoot? he’s damn near a point-forward! q-rich is fat? bosh is no better than udonis haslem? hedo’s been killin it? corey maggettee plays D? amar’e can rebound? kirk hinrich starting in front of gil? stalley, please go away.

  • AlbertTarr Posted: Jul.22 at 5:24 pm
    @AlbertBarr your right us basketball nerds wanna know facts we can jack off too as we look at our jordan poster hanging on the wall
    Go get a life all of you haters commenting on this post its opinions and so what about K Martin he obviously has no star power to remember where he was traded to.

  • AlbertTarr Posted: Jul.22 at 5:29 pm
    Thanks for quoting the whole article back to us cause we didn’t see what was written the 1st time
    Thanks champ your amazing! Lmao you go away bum

  • AlbertTarr Posted: Jul.22 at 5:33 pm
    @T-Money for the last comment

  • Sparty's Law Posted: Jul.22 at 5:46 pm
    Was this written by a child? I actually think i just got dumber.

  • Che-Son Posted: Jul.22 at 5:59 pm
    Wrong on every single count. Let me guess who your favorite player is? It’s a four letter word, right? You know how I know? You don’t really follow the game of basketball, obviously.

  • c_cantrell Posted: Jul.22 at 6:11 pm
    ^eboy..
    man as much as i hate u n love to argue wit u i have to agree with everything u said.. this is most likely the absolute worst article i have ever read.. come on SLAM dont let scrubs put crap like this up on your site

  • Tarzan Cooper Posted: Jul.22 at 6:32 pm
    Who the f is staley? What kind of pompous ass assumes a single name and expects ppl to know who they are?

  • Tarzan Cooper Posted: Jul.22 at 6:43 pm
    Wow, this was total crap. This guy should be banned from slam for life. Does slam have any editing? Is that marcels job?. FAIL!!!!

  • the underrated one Posted: Jul.22 at 6:45 pm
    I dont know if this was waaayyyy over my head, but this was a joke rite?i mean he trashes bosh but commends turkeyglu? WTF?!??!

  • Wah Wah Posted: Jul.22 at 6:46 pm
    LOL at all you haters…none of you could touch Stalley on the court or in a cipher

  • Rusty Posted: Jul.22 at 6:52 pm
    haha have to co sign Eboy on this one. Is this guy a fukin crackhead or what?

  • Josh M Posted: Jul.22 at 7:00 pm
    Is this a joke? No bigs besides KG? He is like in the middle pack for all the bigs in the east:Bosh,Howard,Horford,Smith,Amare,Bogut.
    Plus:Hedo is now a garbage player,Q-Rich isnt fat and O’Neal is good for 10 boards on a team with perkins Garnett ang Baby? Screw that mayne!!
    This article sucks BIGTIME

  • Josh M Posted: Jul.22 at 7:01 pm
    Edit:Chris Bosh is one of the best PF’s IN THE LEAGUE manana

  • Boing Dynasty Posted: Jul.22 at 7:33 pm
    You know what Jurrasic 5 song i like? Quality Control.

  • frank Posted: Jul.22 at 7:47 pm
    I know its the summer, SLAM, but c’mon. At least get someone who watches basketball to write your articles.

  • logues Posted: Jul.22 at 8:35 pm
    i stopped reading after the bosh part. this guy is retarded

  • J-RO Posted: Jul.22 at 8:55 pm
    Where the hell is this Kevin Martin comment you guys speak of?

  • Krishan Posted: Jul.22 at 10:09 pm
    What a complete and utter fail of a write-up. How did you let this slide, ryne? Seriously, this one’s on you man.

  • rainman10 Posted: Jul.22 at 10:34 pm
    This is crap. Not a lot of big guys to cover in the east, except KG???? What about Bosh, Dwight, and Amare?

  • Groves Posted: Jul.22 at 11:10 pm
    was this a joke or real? because some parts seemed honest and others seemed sarcastic eg. “amare is a good defender… and rebounds” and “[kyle korver]‘s not a defensive liability”

  • Michael NZ Posted: Jul.22 at 11:13 pm
    Mood: insulted.

  • The Philosopher Posted: Jul.22 at 11:48 pm
    SLAM is STILL the Greatest of All Times.

  • Michael NZ Posted: Jul.22 at 11:56 pm
    @SLAM: tighten your rotation.

  • J Posted: Jul.23 at 12:31 am
    I was blown away by this article. And I don’t mean that in a good way. After reading the comments and seeing that more than enough people have already ripped into Stalley, I feel that someone should say, ‘nice try Stalley.’ It’s always cool to try something new, but perhaps it’s time to consider trying something else.

  • T-Money Posted: Jul.23 at 2:13 am
    went to his myspace. he’s actually nice on the mic though. stick to your day job bruh.

  • Hursty Posted: Jul.23 at 3:36 am
    Was this deliberately sh*t? Just to get hits?

  • Cheryl Posted: Jul.23 at 10:02 am
    Ditto, everybody’s comments. This article was a joke. C’mon slam, I know it’s the summer, but are you kidding me?

  • henry Posted: Jul.23 at 11:02 am
    always thought bosh was overrated

  • Allenp Posted: Jul.23 at 11:03 am
    wth was this drivel?
    was this like a joke?
    Seriously, dude said Boozer was good and Bosh was nothing. At that point, I stopped reading. WTH?

  • mysticRight Posted: Jul.23 at 3:14 pm
    How were you ever allowed to write an article for SLAM?! This is the ABSOLUTE WORST player evaluation I have read all summer. Please learn about the game of basketball before you say one more thing about it.

  • Deez Posted: Jul.23 at 6:15 pm
    Here’s the breakdown on Bosh. He’s not a great finisher, doesn’t have great hands, not a creator or great passer, he has a great jump shot out to near 3pt range, decent post moves when given time to work, but at the same time is somewhat of a ball stopper, pretty good first step for a big man, not a great one on one defender, so so shot blocker, pretty good rebounder. So all in all not a superstar though better than Udonis, based on his consistency to get a make a shot. However on a team with James and Wade, Bosh should find plenty of open looks to knock down shots as well as finding himself in pick and roll situations with mismatches or his man out of position where Bosh can take it to the basket. So as your 3rd option, Bosh should thrive.

  • Ronald Posted: Jul.24 at 10:09 am
    Awesome article.

  • hoodsnake Posted: Jul.24 at 12:30 pm
    I want my 4 minutes back SLAM!

  • Ronald Posted: Jul.25 at 11:07 am
    This sounds like an article written by a sportswriter’s girlfriend who is only interested bin the pretty colours NBA players wear.

  • Matthew M Posted: Aug.13 at 7:40 pm
    Ain’t nothin changed but the address. You suck.

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