Saturday, October 30th, 2010 at 9:00 am  |  50 responses

Post Up: Florida State Haters

And Rondo passes in his sleep.

by Anton Kudriavtsev / @TheDiesel

Welcome to the first ever weekend Post Up! Like Birdman’s tattoos, SLAM now has you covered 24/7. After signing a lucrative 2-year, $60 extension (3rd year player option, +/- half a meatball sub), some began to question whether I had the competitive fire to produce on a nightly basis. I promise that I will stay humble like LeBron and hungry like Eddy Curry at a vegetarian buffet.

So what happened last night? Hope you have your Deion Sanders jerseys out, because we’re going primetime.

Disclaimer: All captioned images are reproduced by permission of the always hilarious Doc Funk Blog.

Heat 96, Magic 70

Nothing says 73-9 domination like a Phil Collins song opening your game. It worked for the Heat as they blew open the Magic in the first home game of the season. Miami tightened up defensively in the 3rd quarter and used LeBron (15 points, 7 assists) and Wade (26 points, 6 rebounds) to jump to a 15 point lead and never looked back. James and his elbow (in mid-season form, taking out JJ Redick’s eye) disrupted the Magic’s flow for most of the night and began to show fans how effective this Heat team can be defensively.

Dwight Howard (19 points, 7 rebounds) decided to dress up as Tim Duncan for Halloween as he repeatedly hit bank shots, and a 17-footer. Let that sink in for a bit. His squad, however, had no players to create off the dribble (Vince Carter barely counts) and struggled to over-achieve on 3-pointers too. At least it was good to see the notorious SVG give Brandon Bass minutes; he’s really worked on his game and deserves to be a rotational player on the Magic. If there’s one slight I’d pick up for the Heat so far, I’d say their PF’s involvement. Sign that you should be more physical in a basketball game: Your name is Chris Bosh and you guarded well by small forwards. While some questioned Arroyo’s starting job, Carlos was making on-point passes, defended well, and knocked down open J’s. What else do you want from the Michael Jordan of Puerto Rico?

Jeff Van Gundy on the NBA’s new “Respect of the Game” rules: “Big Z got a technical? Zydrunas Ilgauskas is the Mother Teresa of the NBA, you know you’ve gone too far when Z’s getting techs.” Might as well give him a forearm tattoo because Jeff is the truth. One thing I don’t comprehend is himself and Mark Jackson continually perpetuation the rumour that Mike Brown is a good coach. In case you were on the fence about this one, it’s not true. One last note about this game – LeBron has fully embraced his villain persona and grown fangs as a result. This obviously sets the stage for a Team Edward/Team Jacob showdown with the Lakers, and Pau Gasol being the Bella everyone battles for. That’s right, I went there.

Thunder 105, Pistons 104

Kraft Foods was right: “It’s gotta be KD!” Following his 30-point debut, Kevin Durant led his Thunder to a scrappy win (finishing with 30 points and 8 rebounds) and puts himself as the top MVP candidate. As with everything in OKC, it was a team effort as Westbrook continued his stellar play with 17 points and 11 assists, Serge I-BLOCK-a added 16 and 10 off the bench while Nenad Krstic was efficient as he scored 50% and notched up 14 points, 7 rebounds, and 4 chairs.

Ben Gordon brought his “Playoffs 2008/Playing for a Contract” game with 32 big points off the bench, complete with leaning jumpers that amazed us only 2 short seasons ago. Blossoming point guard and full-time 50 Cent impersonator Rodney Stuckey had a great game (24 points, 9 assists, and 5 rebounds) as he sliced around the Thunder’s interior D with athletic scoops, well-timed jumpers in the key, and a sick crossover on Daequan Cook.

The hero of the game might have been Charlie Villanueva as his clutch 3 pointer put the Pistons up ahead by 1 with 7 seconds remaining, had it not been for the upcoming free agent Jeff Green. With a hesitation dribble (clearly looking for Durant behind him), Green drove to the basket for the game-winning lay-up with 5 seconds left. With no timeouts and no game plan for a heave, the Pistons dribbled it out and gave the Thunder the win.

While trapped in a train yesterday, I was forced to pass the time by reading a discarded Sports Illustrated, which featured a Thunder story. In it, it is written that the Thunder have an annual ritual where all members of the organization (players, coaches, and staff) run sprints up a hill to encourage team unity. Also, instead of wining and dining potential free agents, the Thunder simply give them a tour of the Ford center as well as a visit to the memorial of the 168 victims of the 1995 bombing. No wonder the players they receive are high-character, team-oriented guys.

Cavs 81, Raptors 101

After beating the Celtics 48 hours ago, the Cavs took their undefeated streak to Toronto and got an international beat-down for their efforts. Good luck winning the game with your starters combining for 29 points. The Raptors fed off of Bargnani’s 20 points,  Kleiza’s 19, DeRozan’s 14 and Barbosa/Weems with 13.

Though new head coach Byron Scott continued his “crossed-arms = effective coaching” strategy, the Cavs’ defensive rotations were non-existent and if you’re making it look like Amir Johnson maybe deserved the $34 million contract, you deserve to lose by 20. Nothing to worry about though, as Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao should return soon to push the Cavs into the playoff picture. All they need to clean up are rebounding, turnovers, 2nd chance points, and a focused offense.

Knicks 101, Celtics 105

The Celtics shook off a “wow, really?” loss to the Cavs and rebounded past the Knicks in a historic night. Amare’s 27 points and 8 rebounds were not nearly enough as Garnett summoned the spirits of the dead en route to a 24 point-10 rebound night. I wish I had Chris Webber’s digits because he’s the only one that can sum up the 17th best  player on the SLAM ranking: Rondoooooooo!. Rondo recorded a 10-10-24 triple double, second in Celtics history only to Bob Cousy’s 28 assists back in 1959 (Greg Oden was still a freshman back then). Sure, you can question the 7 turnovers, but you can’t question that Rondo’s the most important player on the Celtics.

By the way, while Delonte West is apparently cross-training to fight whoever stole his hot sauce , I want to make this plea to the Celtics: keep this Delonte on your team. He was my second favourite player on the artists formerly known as contender-Cavaliers. If critics are claiming that Tony Allen was an important bench player, West gives you great defence, toughness, shooting, and one smooth step-back jumper. Plus, he was one of the few Cavs players that didn’t crumple under pressure and is used to hitting big shots. His mental state is always a challenge but under the right leadership he would be a great part of your team. LetDelontePlay.com

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  • http://www.danchamb.com.br Lz – Cphfinest3

    Nicely done Anton. If the Heat can play like this 3 games into the season, barring injuries and with a health Mike Miller they could be downright scary come May/June. Kevin Love can rebound with the best of them, he can also stay grounded on the floor with the best of them – funny how that works. Amare should take notes. Once again Rondo shows he should most definitely be in the top PG debate, shot or no shot. A PG’s foremost job is to run the team, distribute the ball and keep his team happy and clicking. Really who does it better than Rondo these days? Surely not D. Rose. Throw in Rondo’s great D and rebounding and what you have is an all out stud. I’m impressed, he seems to be getting better by the bounce-pass.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    Pretty great….as expected!

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    Oh, and Anton’s first piece is really well done too!

  • http://slamonline.com AlbertBarr

    *slow clap*

  • http://www.twitter.com/hurstySYD Hursty

    Good stuff Anton, just proof-read your piece before sending it in and you’re good to go. (there’s a few spelling mistakes littered around).

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the Balla

    Is Bron still going to lead the league in assists? lol

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the Balla

    Oh and if anyone did see the Boston game… a lot of Rondo’s assist’s seemed to be very …giving…

  • http://www.slamonline.com Eboy

    Great piece Anton! Let me put my signature on letdelonteplay.com.. Redz is a balla. Anyway great win for the Heat! Very nice but still Arroyo should not be starting. And Jeff Green is working his way to a nice contract, OKC or not.

  • http://www.slamonline.com J

    ^ hey that was me! (Eboy 10:44)

  • http://www.slamonline.com J

    ^ hey that was me! (Eboy 10:45)

  • http://www.slamonline.com J

    Hey that was me at 10:45 and not Eboy

  • http://www.slamonline.com J

    And now multiple post is coming out I’m sorry..

  • Noel

    Sweet like Saturday morning cartoons for NBA fans. I probably won’t get league pass but will continue to sponge NBA goodness from the NBAtv channel until I go insane from overexposure to Rick Kamla.

  • Noel

    Oh and somebody get this man a full meatball sub and some barbeque chips or something!

  • http://slamonline.com mike

    @James the Balla – You’re a Laker fan so its seems all of your comments seem to be…very nauseating

  • http://www.slamonline.com James the Balla

    And so far Mike all of your comments are about me …

  • http://www.dimemag.com Royal Purvis

    I have to give Dwight props on his post game. He looked very good in the first half. The primary reason he struggled in the second half is because foul trouble and the Lebron sagging off Rashard(I think) because he coulden’t hit a shot and double teaming Dwight.

  • MikeC.

    Nicely done Anton. Solid recaps sprinkled with humor. Very enjoyable.

  • http://slamonline.com Krishan

    A severe lack of r@pe jokes anton. But hilarious nonetheless.

  • http://www.dimemag.com Royal Purvis

    I have to give Dwight props on his post game. He looked very good in the first half. The primary reason he struggled in the second half is because foul trouble and the Lebron sagging off Rashard (I think) because he coulden’t hit a shot and double teaming Dwight.

  • jahmai

    I know it’s just 3 games into the season, but I seriously miss the ‘old’ LeBron. I mean this guy (except for one playoff game)almost has no bad games, a bad game for him in his CAV days were 25-7-7. Now I know he wasn’t playing bad last night, not at all, but this isn’t the amazing LeBron. It seems like Wade is taking control of this heat team, he was the dominant scorer against Philly with 30 (while LeBron had 16 I believe) and he had 26 against the Magic. I just hope LeBron doesn’t turn into Wade’s sidekick because honestly he was just too awesome to watch. Now I’m sure he’ll have his outbursts but he’ll probably be a 20-7-7 guy instead of a 30-8-7 beast.

  • http://facebook.com/jray2009 Jray

    Very entertaining nice work

  • JTaylor21

    Jahmai, you make an interesting point but I think that Bron is letting Wade do his thing just to get him back into rhythm. As we saw in the first game when Wade was struggling Bron went back to being the attacker. That’s how it’s going to be all-season long with this team because there are going to be few games where both guys are on fire, so there will be nights when Wade has it going and Bron doesn’t and vice versa. I think this team is better when Wade is the attacker, Bron’s the facilitator, Bosh handles rebounding duites with shooters all-around them. James Jones has been unconscious from 3 since the preseason, so just imagine when Miller comes back this team will be even more deadlier.

  • http://thetroyblog.com Teddy-the-Bear

    Is this the ANTON Anton from the comments Anton? Good stuff.

  • Bruno

    for any basketball reporter saying Dwight Howard is the only player capable of taking advantage of the Heat trio … wrong!!!!

  • Bruno

    by the way a great post up

  • jahmai

    @JTaylor21, your right, it’ll probably be Wade scorer, Bron passer/part-time scorer, and they’re still going to be alot of fun to watch, but watching LeBron go in F-everybody mode I’m going to score against Boston in the 2nd half was just awesome. All I hope is that he doesn’t become to passive with his scoring and still puts up around 26, though that’ll probably be hard to do.

  • http://www.twitter.com/TheDiesel Anton

    Thanks guys.
    @jahmai – I’m sure LeBron doesn’t miss having to score 30+ in any road game to keep his team competitive. Though I will miss the unnecessarily hard hero shots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SDaTT1ykM0
    @Noel – Haha, I hear that. I should get a sponsorship with Subway or something.
    @Teddy – it is I.

  • jahmai

    *Against Boston on opening night of course:P.

  • http://www.michaelcho.com M Cho

    Greqt post up – entertaining as hell. And that Magic/Heat game once again proved what I’ve believed about Orlando for a while.

  • http://dsjfklf.com Jukai

    the notorious SVG?
    Holy crap, I’m gonna Fan Anton on Facebook after this one!

  • http://www.slamonline.com NickthaQuick

    Is Bob Munden the world’s quickest gunslinger, did the pig squeal wee-wee-wee all the way home or is Joey Crawford the world’s quickest T-slinger? My money on Joey Crack!

  • T-Money

    People need to stop over-analyzing each game. After the Boston game, Bron was the main guy and D-Wade the sidekick, now it’s Wade is the main guy and Bron is the sidekick. Let the season play out. And who’s to say that it’s impossible for two guys to be 1A? They’re just out there hoopin, you know.

  • Vikturus

    “and 4 chairs.” haha, awesome.

  • The Fresh Prince of Nsam

    @Anton: Great 2 c u brought ur sense of humour 2 d Post-Up. With u and Adam, it’s gonna b fun

  • http://thetroyblog.com Teddy-the-Bear

    Amare has a WET jumper.

  • http://Slamonline.com Caboose

    The Magic can beat absolutely any team when their threes are falling. If they aren’t, they struggle beating .500 teams. That’s why the Heat pummeled them. Honestly, the Magic got a crazy amount of open looks but Lewis (0-5), Richardson (0-4), Pietrus (1-4), Redick (0-2), and Nelson (1-3) all had horrendous shooting nights. Fatigue? I’m really not sure.

  • http://slamonline.com riggs

    nice, my fav slam commentator does the post up now :D

  • http://www.kb24.com The Seed

    Like I have said before Rondo is best all around point guard in the league and I would take him over my favorite Deron Williams right now. Also OK right up of the games, I have read better. Still funny slam let this dude who has wrote dumb jack up jokes write for the best basketball magazine in the world. Slam must be having interns doing the dirty work and as a real Florida State fan I hate your corny jokes. BOOK IT!!

  • JTaylor21

    The Seed, wrong again bra, CP3 is the BEST and most complete PG in the L hands down. Just imagine the kind of numbers CP would put up playing with 4 HOFs, dude would avg 15apg/3.5spg with ease.

  • http://www.fiba.com Darksaber

    Phew, back in Asia, in tropical Heat, survived Western Europe in Winter (and zero Nba on TV) to come home to all my DVR’d games from opening week… heaven. And Anton did his thang.
    Also freaking nice of Dallas to waste yet another shooting demo by Dirk (11-15 FG%) in a close loss. Curses.

  • http://www.fiba.com Darksaber

    And Rondo is an astonishing PG: 24 Stockton’s, sheeesh.

  • CoolBreeze


    Come on Give it up Bro!

    By your reasoning Magic Johnson, John Stockton, Maurice Cheeks, Jason Kidd, etc., all sucked cause they played with great players or had no jump shot.

    But at the same time (according to you’re logic)the much maligned Carlos Arroyo, Derrick Fisher, Dennis Johnson, Tony Parker and BJ Armstrong should of averaged a whole bunch more assist in their careers, cause they played with great players/HOF’s?

    Do you realize we’re talking about 24 Friggin assist? It hasn’t been done in 21 years for a reason.

    Why you up here hating and trying to point out why its not that impressive or Rondo is not great? Leave the Rondo is great/the Best, sucks, etc. argument for another day. He dropped 24 dimes!!

    Relax, chill, keep it to yourself, or celebrate. But please drop the blind hate!

  • http://slamonline.com tealish

    Couple points
    1. Don’t knock VC just yet. He got hurt and played only 13min.
    2. Cosign James the Balla about the generous assists for Rondo. (At least on a few of ‘em) I didn’t watch the entire game, but one play sticks out: Rondo passed the ball to some guy at the top of the key, who pump faked, and drove to hoop taking 3-4 dribbles…..and was given an assist. Just sayin’

  • http://www.yamahyouth.com Gerwin

    Anton; good work! The ‘Grant Hill actually led the team in scoring (21 points), the last time that happened we all thought The Mask was a breakthrough in movie visual technology.’ comment made me spill my coffee on my Mac….thanks for that!

  • KB8toSG8

    Great article. Loved that Artest DVR thing. :D .

  • The Philosopher

    Shout out @Anton Kudriavtsev.

  • http://www.need4sheed.com Tarzan Cooper

    anton will now be called boris.

  • rob

    rondo is a beast and one of my faves but still doesnt quite compare to what cp3 did/does. cp put up 20+ assist nights several times while atleast scoring 15 pts and he does that with less talent. ive never seen a pg like him, jus stroll into the lane and get anything he wants

  • ripslam

    Rondo made the All-Star team last year, threw up 29/18/13 in the playoffs, became the best player on the Celtics, now he’d dished out 24 assists and beat Miami on opening night, and you still refuse to give the guy a damn cover?