Sunday, January 20th, 2013 at 11:36 am  |  43 responses

Miami Heat Sign Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen to 10-Day Contract

In desperate need of some rebounding, the Miami Heat have signed Chris “Birdman” Andersen and re-signed Jarvis Varnado to 10-day contracts, as announced on Twitter by team owner Micky Arison:

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  • spit hot fiyah

    what happened to that boy?

  • zogs19994


  • theDankerNuggets

    no some teenage girl told him she was 18, then later she and her family tried to blackmail him

  • RKJ92

    This signing is kinda meh.. lol I feel like Birdman is too old now and won’t offer much

  • Redd

    Well this won’t help them at all.

  • jason

    That’s why you don’t troll for sex on the internet like a creepy weirdo.

  • Max

    Jarvis has some potential I guess.

  • pops

    If the Heat give him around 12-15 minutes he can get them 4 or 5 rebounds and 1 block per game.

  • RKJ92

    meeehhh nothing special.. Joel Anthony gives them that already

  • ratguts

    first yayo, then kiddos.

  • TR

    Glad to see Birdman getting a job. Hopefully Heat can find some minutes for him.

  • ErnieD

    Re: Birdman. Celtics signed him years ago, and then immediately let him go… It was early in the Danny Ainge era, and they offered little explanation. Although he was, seasons later with Denver, suspended for a year in violation of the NBA substance abuse policy. Jarvis was with the Celtics D League in Maine, and was called “Freakish”
    by Doc Rivers (in regards to his physical gifts) for the brief period
    of time he was with the team. He was stuck behind KG, Wilcox and (even
    Jason Collins) on the depth chart, but might develop nicely with a team
    willing to stick it out with him for a few years.

  • ErnieD

    He was with New Orleans when he got a TWO year suspension for violation of the NBA substance abuse policy. That’s pretty serious punishment.

  • ratguts
  • shutup

    Spreading rumors without knowing the facts….that’s what bit(hes do. Just saying.

  • WhyUSoThirsty

    He’s not spreading rumors idiot. He thought that based on the fact that there was an investigation. He didn’t say he knows it was true, asswipe. He said he thought he was, he didn’t say he knows he was a pedo.

    You must be the advocate of all losers who seek sex online the way you took it so personal. Calm the f down clown.

  • Dutch Rich

    Aggressive rebounding and six hard fouls is what he can give and the Heat will need it in the finals. They’re fine as they are for winning the East. But against OKC, Clips, Memphis or Spurs they will need to add size and spunk down low.

  • The Mighty FV

    First off, you are the idiot. The fact you jumped to the caplocks clown so quickly sends off far too many alarm bells. Wind your neck in or you will be banned.

  • The Mighty FV

    So now that’s 10 rebounds and 2 blocks a game…see the math there?

  • Lorne

    Well I guess he legal issues are resolved. Glad to know he wasn’t trolling for sex with kids. This actually isn’t a bad pick up for the Heat considering their rebounding issues. Birdman’s knees may be old but he’ll get them 2 to 4 more rebs than they’re getting now.

  • WhyUSoThirsty

    Who’s gonna ban me tough guy, you? Eat a dick.

  • Deez

    This guy can’t stay out of trouble. If he wasn’t white the media would be trashing his name all over the place. Sorry, but I can’t root for this guy.

  • RKJ92

    The f*ck? the heat aren’t gonna play Joel Anthony AND Birdman 12-15 min each a game their offense would be destroyed.. what are you thinking??? there wont be 10 rebounds, 2 blocks a game, and there is no math, where the hell did you even come up with that conclusion :S

  • smoke dog

    I was thinking the same thing. Where are they going to find that many minutes for both? That fool apparently sucks at math lmao

  • shutup

    Sorry didn’t see the question mark, you see without the question mark it’s more of an inquisitive statement, which can be misconstrued as a declarative type of comment. So ipso-facto he was calling him a pedophile. As it turned out to not be true, it is a rumor and he is spreading it in all his caps-lock glory. I am an advocate of truth and due process, you on the other hand seem to be the advoctae for people who don’t have a proper keyboard. Calm down internet tough guy, and btw I’m pretty sure no one is hungry for the snausage you call a dik.

  • RKJ92

    He’s deff remedial LOL, or just doesn’t pay attention to basketball in general

  • zogs19994


    shut up

  • WhyUSoThirsty

    Nope. The words “I thought” pretty much mean the only statement he was making was that he thought something. He didn’t declare anything as a fact. He didn’t say “he was a pedophile”. He specifically said what he thought, sorry you have the comprehension of a pile of dirt…Why are you commenting on my meat? I’m not homophobic but it’s pretty gay that you even have an opinion on how anyone feels about my d!ck. I told homie to eat a dick, you apparently had a clear idea of mine in your head. Go work those issues out, weirdo. You’re the one taking comments about a basketball you’ve never met personally. Are you f-ing Birdman? Are you his internet advocate?

  • shutup

    Gay is inviting another man to eat a dik, I think its even creepier that you invited him to eat another man’s dik, that sorta makes you a gay pimp. As to the topic at hand, he said “he thought he was a pedophile” When you type in all caps it comes of as a statement of conviction or does context not count, either way obv were talking about an innocent man, victimized by a female; and I don’t have to have ever met a basketball (lol) to have empathy for another man, victimized by another person just because she has a vagina. Lastly when you say “He thought that based on the fact that there was an investigation” thats an assumption; assumptions when spread around become rumors, or are you so dense that you can’t see the connection? Yes, it’s a fact that there was an investigation, it is also a fact that he has not been charged with anything or convicted of anything, so drawing the assumption he is a pedophile is a gross miscalculation, and I think that that title should be reserved for the people that deserve it and it shouldn’t be thrown around lightly.

  • shutup

    Oh sheet your caps lock button actually works, lmfao.

  • Bored

    i think its because he is this WhyUSoThirtsy dude and forgot to put caps on again! lol

  • zogs19994


  • WhYUSoThirsty

    He always talks in caps so stop with the over analytical nonensense. I come here prolly once a month and you’re getting your ass handed to you debating with various people every time I come. You suck at it, and you’re overly emotional. Like I said, only a gay dude would comment specifically and unnecessarily about another man’s d!ck, then actually have an opinion on who wants it. The original comment wasn’t even directed at you, which makes it even more gay. You went out your way to speak on my meat. Disgusting.

    And nobody cares about your female hate issues. GTFOH, like you’re the defender of the male sex. You’re either a bitter virgin, and judging by the amount of time you spend arguing on here I’d say its true, or you are gay. Get a life or get a girl. You hate chics but you love arguing just like them. Women love going back and forth.

  • bill

    Then you spell “HA!” wrong…smh

  • LakeShow


  • Matt

    No he won’t lol… 2 to 4 rebounds is a huge differential. He’d have to make the few lineups he gets used in be absolutely dominant in rebounding for that to happen.

  • Max


  • Max

    Turned out even better!

  • Max


  • Max


  • RKJ92

    Thx Max.. lol -.-’ <3

  • Redd

    Lol..well he didn’t not in this game I’m watching.

  • Matt

    Guess what? The Heat stayed about the same in rebounding percentage. The main advantage of having Birdman on the floor is that the Heat don’t fall apart on defense w/o another mobile big and they can go big when they have to.