Friday, September 12th, 2008 at 8:00 pm  |  270 responses

Sure Shot

They say a picture’s worth 1,000 words. But you only need a couple to win.

Spend any time here and you know Kobe fans and LeBron fans have a rivalry that makes the Celtics and Lakers look like they’re in a biddy league. But do the game’s two biggest stars have any actual beef? Doesn’t look like it in this pic. But who knows, we weren’t there. That’s where y’all come in. Please, fill in the blanks. Whoever writes the funniest caption will win a dope prize from our vault and see their name in Trash Talk next issue. And try not to start any fights on here.

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  • http://www.nba.com iLL wiLL

    The expression on Dwight Howard’s face.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com Eboy

    “Now look, once they ask you what’s it’s been like to have the MVP trophy and a gold medal, smile, say it’s been great, then tell them it’s Lebron’s time now, and that I loved my time at the top, capesh?”

  • http://www.nba.com/celtics/ Moose

    LeBron: “Straighten that tie, you gotta look good for the judge and jury or you’ll actually go to jail this time. Remember, you can’t have no technicals in the courtroom.”

  • http://www.nba.com/celtics/ Moose

    Great entry, Eboy.

  • http://www.another48minutes.blogspot.com Gerard Himself

    “Dwight Howard is actually 6’3 – and jealous”

  • http://www.nba.com/celtics/ Moose

    My entry clearly shows my loyalties as a LeBron fan over Kobe, so I probably won’t win . . .

  • thesubwayconnection

    “This is that Comm vs. Jay-Z ish, Bron. You’re too mainstream. The ladies love this style. C’mon, they never say no to me. . .”

  • http://yahoo.com mr.laker19

    Kobe: Alright, after your finished with my tie then you can work on my shoes.

    LeBron: Sigh… ok, then will you teach me how to shoot a consistent jump shot? C’mon you promised!

    Kobe: It takes time to be on my level buddy, you have to pay your dues, you’ll get there one day… after I retire. Don’t worry though Ill teach you some stuff.

    LeBron: REALLY! Thank you Mr. Bryant, THANK YOU. Maybe now ill be known as the third greatest player after you and Mr. Jordan

    Kobe: Hold your horses there kid, you have to crawl before you can walk. And Dwight, I see you look interested, how about I teach you another shot other than just jumping as high as you can and dunking?

    Dwight: yes!

  • nisizzle

    dwight (in his head): “whats this!? lebron told me he couldnt do a windsor knot!

  • http://twitter.com/valdezign valdezign

    Kobe: Just ignore him, ‘Bron. Yeah, its the Adidas guy.

  • Bri

    Dwight: Hey you said you would fix my tie first!

  • Michael

    Kobe didn’t jellybean teach you anything?

  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    kobe says:hey lebron keep me fresh like how you young cats do it.

    lebron says:ok as long as you stop talking like that your 30 now kobe.

    dwights thinking:man lebron reminds me of my mother.

  • will

    dwight- hey lebron, can you do my tie next.
    Kobe- Dwight, I’m busy, now go put your shoes on.

  • BK718

    Kobe: Hey Lebron can u fix my tie
    Lebron: I got you mamba,I gotta make sure you look good here because u sure don’t look better than me on the court.

    Dwight- (thinking):Lebron soning Kobe again


    “The Texas Love Traingle”


    “The triangle offense, of love”

  • agentsmith

    Lebron: “Alright, lets straighten your tie here. Remember Kobe, if your wife asks why there’s glitter on your face we let JKidd’s daughter give us makeovers”.

  • MyKal

    Dwight: (thinks) Whoa! There’s LeBron James. Whoa! There’s that golf hat I always wanted.

  • Ali

    Dwight(thinking): he better fix my tie next im superman.

  • http://aol.com Ben Baran

    Kobe: I hope you tie better than you play

  • Easy-E

    Lebron – “Kobe…you and I never talked about th…the…the Finals”

    Kobe – “Bron…Bron let’s not go there”

    Lebron – “Kobe, jus..just give me…give me a hug man! I know who it is”


  • Jose

    So a king, a black mamba, and superman go to beijing right…..

  • James aka the Artist Formerly Known as Krayzie Bone

    Howard: Are you…are you guys dating?

  • Double J

    Howard: “dude bron, even if you tie his tie he ain’t gonna say you’re better”

  • http://noneanddone.blogspot.com poohbiz

    if you’re going to steal my mvp, then you better dress like one

  • Danny P

    LeBron – “MVP my ass, you don’t even know how to tie a windsor knot”

  • http://dyalekt.com d.Y.

    Valdezign wins.

  • Jody Collier

    Howard-It sure is lonely being Superman. It must be nice for BlackMambaman having Lebrobin to fix his tie for him. I’ll show them why I don’t need a sidekick when I catch Kobe’s tie on fire with my heat ray vision.

  • http://hoops4life.com overtime

    “Don’t worry Mr.Kobe, we’ll have you out on that golf course in no time”

  • mike

    lebron: hey kobe we are the best players in the world!!
    kobe: yea babe
    dwight desperately hey i am supermen

  • Hank Gibson

    Now son you don’t want to be late for school.

  • ID

    Kobe: Quickly!! and you better do it right.
    Peasant James: Yes sir, right away sir

    Dwight: can’t believe this fool thought he had more global fame than Kobe.

  • ID

    Kobe: Quickly!! and you better do it right.

    Peasant James: Yes sir, right away sir

    Dwight: can’t believe this fool thought he had more global fame than Kobe.

  • http://its-mitch.blogspot.com/ Paps

    Scottie used to do this for Mike.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    Dwight looked on like a proud parent as LeBron pinned the corsage on Kobe’s jacket.

  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    kobe says to lebron:when you were younger shaq used to fix my tie but now that he is retiring soon you are next in line to be black mambas slave.

  • http://www.truthaboutit.net/ Truth About It Dot Net

    Kobe: “C’mon LBJ, you know I’m still the best player on the planet….so after this, you gotta groom my short and curlys.”

  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    kobe says:but lebron!! lebron says:you know you are 30 years old now you gotta look like one,talk like one and boy you need to smell like one what are you wearing baby cologne.kobe says:my daughter said i will smell pretty.

  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    lebron says:after im done with you kobe you are gonna look like a milli a milli a millionaire kobe says:wowwwwwww….

  • http://slamonline.com ryan


  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    dwight’s thinking:man like mom like son

  • B. Long

    Kobe:You know what the diffrence between me and you is? LeBron: What’s that? Kobe: I make this hat look good!

  • MeloMan13

    Valdesign hands downnn

  • niQ

    Lebron: Pssh, Mr. MVP can’t even do up his own tie..

  • Jason

    LeBron: “Here just let me straighten your tie…”
    Pulls tie tight around Kobe’s neck.
    LeBron: “Say I’m the best. Say it!”

  • http://aol Karrim Omer

    Dwight: Oh its like that you gunna help the MVP out with his tie and not me,I thought we were homies from the east, okay then I got you lebron you anit gunna be da king of the east anymore

  • http://aol Karrim Omer

    Dwight: Oh its like that you gonna help the MVP out with his tie and not me,I thought we were homies from the east, okay then I got you lebron you anit gonna be da king of the east anymore

  • Shu

    As Rod Benson would say “No homo…”

  • http://www.slamonline.com James The Balla

    Kobe – I can drop 81 points in less than 48 minutes, but this damn windsor got me …

    Bron – You know i got you, you just aint good with a black knot (a$$), but now if this tie was white …

  • Mat

    LeBron: Now .. these Beijing girls love a well dressed man
    Dwight: hmmm .. I better take some notes here

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Allenp

    Kobe:…And I don’t even like ass like that!
    Lebron: I know, Shaq be tripping, man.

  • http://www.ravingblacklunatic.blogspot.com Allenp

    Kobe: Can you smell it on my breath?
    Lebron: Nah, you straight.

  • rob stewart

    D. Howard “They should have just got the clip ons like me”

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Dwight: I gotta get me one of those.

  • http://slamonline.com bbfan

    Lebron: if i put the tie around your neck, you gotta guarantee me that gold medal around mine k
    Kobe: mmmhmmmm
    Dwight: i want a gold medal too

  • RaN

    I’ll help you out since pau could’nt

  • Zeryab Sial

    Camera man can you help me out with my tie, I didn’t go to college either; Why can’t I just wear my cape?

  • Zeryab Sial

    Camera man can you help me out with my tie, I didn’t go to college either. Why can’t I just wear my cape?

  • Zeryab Sial

    Camera man can you help me out with my tie, I didn’t go to college either. Why can’t I just wear my cape?

  • http://moneybills2cents.blogspot.com/ Money Bill Williams

    Lebron ” first you steal my MVP trophy, now you steal the wise lebron prop hat from my commercial!”

  • lucas

    “So you want your gold medal here or….?”

  • C-Mac

    lebron – no man if you really wanna look like a pimp with that hat you gotta undo a few buttons.
    Dwight – Holy inapropriate-moment batman!

  • fisticuffs

    Lebron: I got the tie. Dwight you get the shoes.

  • andrew

    KB: You’re not my real dad! I hate you! (slams door, rips off tie)

  • andrew

    Zeryab – if you don’t win, I’ll be mad. Unless I win. Which I won’t.

  • http://moneybills2cents.blogspot.com/ Money Bill Williams

    Kobe: Hey Bron, you reckon Shaq would wear a blazer?

  • http://www.collegebasketball247.blogspot.com Jakob Kagel

    Dwight (thinking): these guys are really gaaay


  • Joey

    Lebron Thinkin – Best player in the world. . . hmmph

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq al Haydar

    Remember, e-flat, Kobe. e-frigging-flat.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq al Haydar

    Listen, Kobe, if you really impress me with “The End of the Road”, maybe, maybe I’ll think about including “Motown Philly” in tonight’s set.

  • http://shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ Tariq al Haydar

    Dwight Howard:
    Don’t forget to thank God if we win an American Music Award, fellas.

  • http://bamastatesports.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/kickingstallionsims_chief00.html d1n

    “Ad***s brotherhood!?yea, right..I didn’t get to help Mr.Garnett or Mr.Duncan tie their ties!”

  • $tev3

    Dwight: Lebron could you tie my shoes when your done with kobes tie
    LeBron: sigh yea im imature skip bayless

  • !B.

    Dwight: I KNOW you ain’t feelin’ up on my man like that!

  • http://moneybills2cents.blogspot.com/ Money Bill Williams

    Kobe: No matter how many times I jack up an attempt, i just can’t get this tie to go down. Lebron muttering: Bit like your 3 pt percentage lately

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Dwight: I thought the Adidas brotherhood was close…

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Dwight: This white boy’s got a lot of dandruff..

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Dwight: You lucky Kobe. You got Lebron. I ended up gettin’ some white boy. What did you say your name was white boy? Bob Costas?

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    Dwight: Kobe’s helper is gay? I thought I had it bad.. My helper looks weird and his last name is Amaechi. What kind of last name is that?

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    No offence…

  • BalheR

    Lebron:Kobe you are offically in the Chosen 1 club.Sorry Dwight but it is not your time.(and you wear addias)

  • http://www.freewebs.com/betcats BETCATS

    “Next time in Europe!(For 50 millie)”

  • Ross

    LeBron James to Kobe Bryant, “Come here MVP, let me show you how it’s done …”

  • Jasin C

    Lebron: “Kobe didn’t your momma teach you this”

  • http://moneybills2cents.blogspot.com/ Money Bill Williams

    Lebron: Next Stern will want us wearing a tie on-court too!

  • Charger Tom

    LeBron: “Did Shaq ever do this for you?”
    Kobe: “Did Shaq ever win MVP?”
    Dwight: “Man, are you guys…umm…gay?”
    LeBron and Kobe: Maybe, but we still know what you guys get up to in your ‘Brotherhood’
    Dwight: “how’d you know! Oh yeah, Gil probably blogged about it, we told him not to blog about us being gay or shaving his balls”

  • http://kb24.com Bigi

    “You tell Vanessa I ain’t doin’ this everyday…”

  • vaL Gregorio

    Kobe: “You gotta be better than ME!”

  • rhillips

    look im MVP so do my tie, Dwight don’t look like that your next

  • rhillips

    we can see ya wearing huggy beas hat but i aint pimpin ya tie for ya

  • rhillips

    we can see ya wearing huggy beas hat but i aint pimpin ya tie for ya

  • rhillips

    Lebron: he plays like a man but cant even sort his own tie out, maybe he is 8 after all

  • http://www.lkz.ch/basket Darksaber

    “Oh so that’s what it felt like to choke against the C’s in the finals. Didn’t notice your tie under the jersey as Ray Ray and Posey were harassing you ass” :-)

  • http://www.lkz.ch/basket Darksaber

    Dwight: better not suck in beijing or the king’s gonna be choking me next”.. whoops.

  • Clockwork

    Dwight thinking: “What the..!?I thought we all agreed on wearing clip on ties!”

  • http://moneybills2cents.blogspot.com/ Money Bill Williams

    Kobe: Dwight, didn’t we tell you to go fetch our lunch?
    Bron: And get me some bubblegum while your at it

  • http://www.lkz.ch/basket Darksaber

    “Kobe, tell me how my windsor knot tastes….”

  • Peat

    Dwight: Is it Lebron or JellyBean ? They both look the same age… Yeah I’m pretty sure it’s JellyBean…

  • boogster

    brokeback mountain-dark side

  • RyanL

    Lebron:”I have no idea how to tie this, I only wear clip-ons”

  • DMH

    “You look great, now get out there and try not to cry when they mention game four of the finals”.

  • http://www.hw-event-hosting.de h-dub

    Yo Kobe, see now what i mean with Crossover?

  • Anton

    LeBron: “Damn…MVP sure doesn’t stand for Most in Vogue Playa”

  • El Capitan

    You have a bit of food on your tie…let me fix that for you!

  • Gregg

    i can’t believe none of us knows how to tie a tie…that’s what we missed in college!

  • Lincoln

    Lebron: There, Kobe, i did you’re tie. You gonna let me take a picture with that MVP trophy now?
    Howard: What! Eh, Mvp, i thought you said i could take some pictures with the trophy before i put on them hyperdunks for you!

  • http://cedricalvinezyahoo.com cedric

    haha gregg is funny as hell

  • Lakers735

    Kobe and Lebron…practicing receiving their gold medals two weeks in advance…priceless!

  • PW

    Howard: How can I get in on some of that action?

  • Lakers735

    Lebron says: Man those SlamOnline kids are stupid, I’m fixing his pin, not tying his his tie…….

  • Lakers735

    Thats the same look on Dwight’s face when Rudy got the Slam Magazines future Slam of the Month!

  • Kingsley N

    Lebron:Don’t worry Kobe only a couple more hours until we can go and play some golf. Just smile and it’ll be fine.
    Kobe: Thanks man and this time I’m gonna win.

  • chintao

    “There you go, Kobe. Hat? Check. Tie? Check. You’re all set for your new job selling newspapers on the street. After next season, I will make you wish you had never even seen a basketball.”

  • Michael Mullery

    Dwight: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh ! So THAT’S how you tie a tie !

  • Mike Henthorn

    Tiger’s injury creates last minute additions to the Ryder Cup Team.

  • john

    dwight howard: yo lebron i thought you were going to do me first.

    lebron james: what did you do throughout the olympics dwight, calm down


    Good lookin’ youngin’ I’ still the man though I’ll see you in the finals.

  • http://dwflashmsn.com PG27

    Lebron: Man how could someone score 81 points in a game, win the mvp, and guide his team to the finals and not know how to tie a tie!
    Dwight(thinking): Damn, Kobe is your hate too tight or did the celtics zone defense drive you insane!

  • Matin

    Dwight: What you starin’ at?

  • Brandon G.

    Dwight: Isn’t supposed to be the other way around?”

  • Daniel

    Kobe: “Ummm, LeBron, could you do my tie again?
    LeBron: “What! Again, didn’t I already tell you how to do it?
    Dwight: “Wow, LeBron, your tie is just so perfect, your a natural.

  • Daniel

    Kobe: “Ummm, LeBron, could you do my tie again?
    LeBron: “What! Again, didn’t I already tell you how to do it?
    Dwight: ” Dam I wish I could grow a beard like that”

  • Nathan

    This is when the student is helping the teacher

  • Damien

    LeBron: “We need to make sure we all look real nice in these suits or Commish Stern won’t let us back.”
    Dwight: “Yeah right!”
    Kobe: “You see A.I. standing here?”

  • Damien

    Plane ticket to Beijing = $1200
    A Hotel room for the Olympics = $5000
    Getting the entire world to see LeBron fix your tie = priceless.

  • Damien

    LeBron: “Can we stay here just a little longer, I like having teammates with a bit of skill.”
    Kobe: “Tell me about it.”

  • Reggie

    Lebron: No, babe, you look fine.
    Kobe: Really?
    Lebron: Just ask Dwight.
    Dwight: Yeah, if you drivin’ Ms. Daisy. take that damn hat off.

  • Jason

    Dwight: Hey Bron, can you straighten my cape next?
    LeBron: Ahh sure. Help a brother out right?
    Kobe: Wait, that’s what everyone on my team says when I shoot a lot. Never understand those guys..

  • Jordan Trout

    kobe-we hittin up chilis after this
    Lebron ohhhh yeeahhh

  • Sam

    Dwight- These two are way too creepy man…

  • julian

    kobe: c’mon, man, hurry up. charles barkley’s on the course RIGHT NOW.

  • Aristotle

    LeBron to Kobe: “Mr. Bryant, after winning so many awards and now a gold medal,are you telling me you still can’t button up your dress shirt and fix your tie?”

    Kobe to LeBron: “Well Mr. James, it’s kind of difficult with 3 NBA Championship rings on my fingers. Ask Dwyane, he’ll tell you”

    Dwight:”Um guys…you realise the Superman shirt and cape under the dress shirt was my trick?”

  • Hope Bower

    Hand me that robot manual, Dwight. I’m trying to program Kobe and I forget the numbers.

  • Valorie

    Now how tight do I have to make this to cut off your air supply????

  • RyanL

    Lebron: “This is how Warren Buffet show me how to tie it”

  • RyanL

    Lebron: “Now…kneel before your King!”

  • JoeV

    Bron: “I’m telling you Kobe, no more about how Shaq’s ass tastes, Okay?”

  • http://celtics.com Jamey

    “Now remember Kobe, be sure to say: Mr. Phelps, may I please have your autograph?”

  • http://celtics.com James

    “Dwight, don’t look, but is their a run in my purple nylons…?”

  • JoeV

    LeBron: “This knot is tighter than your game in the finals.”

  • http://myrenitaaol.com AD3

    chill out soup, i’ll assist you in a moment.

  • sam

    Lebron: “GOT TO MAKE SURE YOU LOOK RIGHT…..(whicper)because thats about all you got on me.”

  • shoemember

    I got this dude thinking I can’t tie my tie. He’s concentrating to!

  • Cameron

    Lebron: Listen, if she asks just tell her… you went to China to play in the Olympics and win a gold medal. And if that doesnt work, tell her Dwight Howard trained you for a dance off between you and Shaq.

  • corben

    dwight mayb u should keep lookin at him then maybe we could see you hit a shot out side of 10 feet.

  • tyler

    LEbron: let me fix that tie for you
    Kobe: Here let me fix that game for you
    Dwight: OH SH*T he didnt

  • Terry

    Whew! this is hard. Maybe we should’ve went to college.





  • jalee

    Lebron: “We gotta hurry kobe….let me just knot this up okay?”
    Kobe: “Okay, Lebron” (low tone voice)
    Dwight: “Whats going on here?”(very concerned)

  • Chazzy F

    Lebron: Now look, you already screwed up your Finals, now you’re messing with your style. Gucci mixed with Armani…C’mon, KB that’s a definite NO-NO.

    Kobe: My daughters dressed me.

    D-How: (Gulp) Umm…what about Cavali and Prada?

  • Gerald West

    “If I pull this tie too hard, I can hurt him and I will really be King. Dwight, turn around, you don’t need to Witness this”

  • blacmind

    This is how Jay wears his.

  • http://hotmail.com MJK

    Lebron”now kobe mother said to look our best”

  • http://hotmail.com MJK

    Dwight”man Lebron never fixes my clothes”tear

  • http://hotmail.com MJK

    Lebron”no matter what shaq said about you , you still have to look good”

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/prcasey Peter R. Casey

    Dwight (acting as Deebo from Friday): Give me that chain before I knock yo a$$ out.

  • http://slamonline.com evan

    dang man i wish i looked as fly as kobe and lebron

  • http://slamonline.com evan

    dwight howard was talkin

  • raptors

    Come here son let me help you tie that tie

  • Brandyn

    Dwight thinking to himself: “Man….I hope LeBron doesn’t notice the hickey I gave Kobe on his neck last night.”

  • Brandyn

    Lebron: “Damn Kobe….what’s up with you and white stuff? First it was white girls…..now it’s white hats. What’s next? White lines(cocaine)?”

  • Michael Mullery

    dwight: So thats how you tie a tie, up down loopdey loop and pull ! ooh

  • desmond

    DWIGHT:Why doesn’t King Lebron touch me???
    I’m superman.
    Lebron:Im finally better than Kobe,well at tying a tie.
    Kobe:Lebron tie my tie.Dwight u spit shine my shoes.HAHA I love being a NBA veteran.

  • Ben Cho

    LeBron: The MVP needs my help? Man, I should have been MVP, I don’t need nobody’s help.

  • aliballer

    dwight:A man I hope they fight i didnt get in one my whole career I wouldnt mind I know i will win

    lebron:I can probably take kobe but im scared of dwight.
    kobe:I cant take any of them i better run

  • Joe

    Dwight – Yo bron didn’t you teach Kobe how to put on a tie two summers ago?
    Lebron – Yeah but that was for a different type of court. Plus look at his hat….dudes faking. He needs the kings help.

  • cvila

    Kobe: Babe, the tie is alright
    Lebron: Comon

  • cvila

    Kobe: Babe, the tie is alright
    Lebron: No hun, it is not
    Kobe: relax babe, you had a great game, enjoy youself
    Lebron: yeah you’re right
    Kobe: see those white women in the stands, how bout you and me go get freaky with them
    Lebron: But babe, we are gay not bi anymore remember.
    Kobe: yeah but maybe we can get John Gaymechi in with them, make it appear that we tryin to get him straight, then we can rent our own room alone and get freaky.
    Lebron: Fine
    Kobe: Hello ladies, how bout we get a room together. This is John and he will satisfy both of you.
    Lebron: Honey, what if someone sees us in the same room.
    Kobe: (undressing and unzippering Lebron’s pants) Just relax.
    (the two men rub canola on their bodies and roll around on the silk bed with a pink flourescent shining on them with a beat from Barry White’s: Can’t get enough of your love,babe)
    (Lebron wakes up)

  • kevin chu from SD

    dwight: lebron and kobe remind me of how my mama used to help me put on my tie back in the days

  • Calvin

    Dang, Kobe, the clip broke. My bad. Yo “D,” you know how to tie one of these?

  • William Bushman

    Kobe:”Hey LeBron, Can you give me a hand with this tie?”
    LeBron:”I can try”
    Kobe:”What do you mean?”
    LeBron:”Between you and me, My tie is clip on”

  • http://slamonline.com/contests baaaaaallin’

    Bron:Guesss wat Kobe???
    Bron: Since your MVP let me tie your tie and if u want i’ll shine your MVP trophy when we get back to the states.
    Dwight Howard thinking to himself: Man, I need to win that award some year!!!!!!!

  • http://slamonline.com/contests baaaaaallin’

    you look good

  • Ben Cartmell

    Bron: for the last time kobe, yes, the hat looks fly, now hold still! and dwight, keep your mouth closed and your eyes to yourself, you might be superman in orlando but me and mamba run this show now.
    kobe: WHO and mamba? careful lebronze, you didn’t chew gold until i got here!

  • Matthew

    Dwight thinking to himself: I never realized how old Lebron looks. I wonder what’s harder, tying that tie or making a free throw, its probably the tie.
    Kobe: Lebron, I can tie it myself.
    Lebron: No, you can’t. If you could i wouldn’t be here right no.
    Kobe: Ok, “mom”.

  • Matthew

    *correction to the last submission: it was supposed to be:”it’s probably the free throw.”

  • Cody

    Dwight: Damn that LeBron is so nice. I need to get him a gift. Hey LeBron can i buy you dinner?

    Kobe: Hurry up LeBron it’s a clip on! how long does it take?

    LeBron: I wanna make sure you look good for once, then maybe you can get the kind of endorsements i have.

    Kobe: 3 rings baby.

    LeBron (whispers): but we have the same amount of gold medals.


  • Cody

    Kobe: So you think the judge will acquit me again.

    LeBron: Only if your tie is straight, and remember sign both shoes this time, if the judge gets another pair of one-signature shoes he might actually look at the file before letting you off the hook!

    Kobe to himself: Both shoes, both shoes. Got it!

  • Jabari Howard

    Lebron: Fix your tie, you look sloppy.
    Kobe: Fix your championship ring, oops, i forgot.

  • Ryan Hamilton

    Kobe: “Boy, youd better not stick me with that pin”.

    Lebron: “This is more nervewracking than my Prom night.”

    Dwight Howard: “Oh, to be the King.”

  • Michael

    I am taking the torch back, Michael never gave it to you anyway…

  • Manjo Gabor

    D12: ” lebron do mine plz.”

    LBJ: ” hush up boi!!! w8 for ur turn! ”

    KB24: ” haha.. in ur face dwight haha “

  • John

    Lebron: Ok kobe when we get our Gold medals remember to smile and try not to remember the finals. Kobe: Shut Up! atleast we won a game in the finals.

  • Bigun

    Lebron: Ok Kobe for the last time look at my tie trust me this is the way Jordan wore it.

  • Felecia

    The way Dwight was looking!!!

  • ronald


  • J-BOY-Z

    Kobe: now this is what im talking about. Im the greatest that u are even tieing my own tie! Lebron: got to do what i gotta do

  • slate

    Lebron:If you don’t take that hat off,believe me, I WILL tighten this knot.

  • illanoyz

    Lebron James – Alright Kob, once I get the collar off of your Adams Apple this clip on tie shouldn’t hurt as much.

    Dwight Howard – Hey LeBron, when you get done with Kobe can you blow in my eye for me? I think I got an eyelash in there.

  • slate

    Kobe (to himself):Damn this knot is TIGHT.I’m choking more than Pau Gasol in an NBA finals!

  • slate

    Lebron:Its simple Kobe, you just clip it on like this.

  • slate

    Lebron :I can’t believe you can figure out the triangle offense,but can’t clip on a tie,and YOU got MVP?

  • Tim Dennis

    Yes BOSSsss i done tied yo tie up boss

  • John B.

    LeBron: Now I gotta play Vanessa?

  • Rodney Brooks

    Lebron – Let me do that for you old man. What you got about 3 good years left before I take over the league?
    Kobe – Three? Hmmm. So I’ll retire after 3 more seasons with 5 NBA championship rings, 4 MVP titles, and a gold medal. So that’ll be why they say I’m the closest resemblance to MJ.

  • http://www.jeffdaycartoons.com gwillicker

    Dwight selects a nice frame for his portrait.

  • Jawan

    james: hold still kobe im tryna fix you tie
    kobe: i think james like me he is cute
    dwight: dang why james always gotta take the good ones

  • Terence Abram

    Kobe: So there is something you do better than me …
    Lebron: NBA Finals, Scoring Titles, League MVP, and you can’t tie a tie…
    Dwight:But yall cant superman like me!!!

  • http://Angrymannsbcglobal.net angrymann

    Lebron: So Mr MVP, since I’m showing you how to fix your tie, I figured you could show me how to win a ring.
    Dwight: What!! I’ll show you three different ways to tie it!
    Kobe: Not now guys, I’m really not in the mood. Besides, Paul Pierce pulled the same prank on me last off-season.


    Look kobe, ill show you how its done

  • Kingsley N

    Lebron: Kobe what have you done to this tie, its a total mess just like your game… ohhhh

  • Ayo

    Dwight (in his Mind) – He wasn’t concentrating that hard when he did my tie.
    Lebron (in his Mind) – I’m not the best right now but i can screw his tie up and i’ll be the best looking one

  • Allen

    Lebron: Now I tie you up in Beijing. But I am gonna tie you down in NBA.
    Dwight: I am watching your shoulder all the time.
    Kobe: Just Do it.

  • kasim lee

    Geez kobe get yourself together. Do I have to do everything for you old man? Knot your ties. Next I’ll be feeding you oatmeal while you tell me stories from when you were the best in the NBA

  • Chu Che

    Kobe: King, tie me up. Lebron: 10 bucks. 10 bucks, Dwight only wanted a #1 Super Size. Lebron: Well go to Dwight and let him F$&@ yo tie up then! Dwight: Huh? Kobe: Ok go ahead. Lebron: So finish telling me about what happened with baby girl when you was in H.S. Kobe: Oh yeah. So her mother leave right. I come from under the bed and we start talking and watching Martin. Then she turned to… LeBron: Get to the F$&@ing part! Kobe: So we started kissing, hugging… The her moms comes back. She must have smelled the sex in the air because she ran upstairs and bust in the door. LeBron: Oh yeah, what she say? Kobe in moms voice: “hey baby, let momma have him!” LeBron: LOL! Kobe: Here come coach, Greg Oden Faces yall. Dwight(in his mind): Was he trying to say I can’t tie a tie? I got the best clip on in hear anyway.

  • Fabian

    Lebron: man, you look stupid. let me fix your tie
    Dwight: kobe in a tie?

  • Troy

    Lebron: you know, your suit and hat doesn’t look as good as Dwight’s superman cape.

  • Troy

    Lebron: can you do anything? You can’t tie your tie and you can’t win a championship without Shaq.

  • Troy

    Lebron: Good thing your a superstar and good at basketball because you can’t even tie your own tie Kobe: At least I won the MVP trophy.

  • Gerrod

    Yo Kob, I’ll show you how to do this son.

  • Q-Tip

    LBJ: “yo kobe i don’t know man we can’t go windsor with that hat well,you better just let me tie it man.”

  • Ace

    ” You ain’t nothin yet. I AM the King! Bow your head boy!”

  • Niku

    Lebron: instead of jumping over aston martins you should be learning how to tie ties.

  • ed

    naw man Brandy did my knot on my tie for me the night of my prom, i thought they’d give us clip on ties.

  • http://thehoopdoctors.com/online/ Dr. J-Water

    Lebron – “Hey Kobe, just roll with it okay, i’m testing Dwight’s manlove for me…is he lookin’, is he lookin’?”

  • MSkittle

    Look down, look down. You’ll always be an All-Star

  • inamikgreg

    Bron: C’mon Mamba…you gotta look sharp if you want to command $50 mil per on the Euro market.

  • mike

    dwight howards: anyone call for superman?

  • TONY24

    “You know, sometimes, when you compete against the best you have to make sure that your favorite opponent is always at their best. With style and presentation at the forfront. Making sure you have no excuses verifys my credibility”….Lebron

  • Jonathan

    Kobe: Hurry up, the Opening Ceremonies are about to start.

    Lebron: Hold still, I’m almost done.

    Dwight: Wow Kobe, after all those days spent dressing up for that Colorado courtroom, I would think you should know how to tie your own tie.

  • Jonathan

    Lebron: Even though none of us went to college, if we put all three of our heads together, maybe we can figure out how to tie this thing.

  • Grant Bibby

    Dwight Howard:”Are you going to kiss or what?”

  • Jason

    “Where is Bill Ebner when you need him?” (Old school SLAM magazines readers know who i’m talking about?) inside the head of Dwight Howard thinking of how he can use this pic as payback on Kobe for the recent (Rudy Fernandez Slamadamonth)

  • Jordan

    Lebron thinks:”Nice chest.”
    Kobe says:”Ref, thats a flagrant.”
    Dwight wonders:”Dang…I wish he touched me like that”

  • http://Angrymannsbcglobal.net angrymann

    Lebron: So there’s a dress code over here too? Damn!
    Kobe: I guess. The commish really be power tripping.
    Dwight: ooo, I’m telling!!

  • Los Man

    LBJ: “just act cool, DH is watching. But I wasn’t playing when I said that MVP trophy belongs to me son! I better have it by the time we get back to the states!”

  • mike

    grant you’d like that to happen wouldn’t you?

  • mike

    lebron: look at my little bean he’s all grown up

  • mike

    All 3 thinking: Man we didn’t have to do this sh*t in high school

  • Ryan

    LeBron: Kobe that is a very cute hat
    Kobe: Thanks LeBron I love the earring

  • mike

    Dwight Howard: Superman that hoe…
    Lebron and Kobe: We don’t superman no mo…we just spiderman that hoe…

  • mike davis

    Kobe- “Ok Bron, if you show me how to tie this thing then I’ll teach you how to win 3 championships and a gold metal, starting here in Bejing.”
    Lebron- “Ok Kobe”
    Howard- “Thats a good deal, im next guys ok ?”

  • http://SLAMonline tarheel_pride5

    BRON: I’ll fix your tie Kobe, cant be any harder than fixing the Cavaliers.

  • http://SLAMonline tarheel_pride5

    LeBron: I’ll fix your tie Kobe, it cant be any harder than fixing the Cavaliers franchise.

  • kevodeniro

    valdezigns one is funny..

  • Selvin Rojas

    Kobe: But you heard what he said bron. . .
    Lebron: I know, I know my lil mamba. But dont worry we’ll show that mean ol shaq that you CAN do without him.

  • GMoney Jumpshots

    “…and Dwight let me metaphorically demonstrate how Kobe and I both choked in the playoffs this year…”

  • Kirk

    “Feels just like wearing those uniforms in high school, eh guys? And once again….forget college.”

  • T WANA

    Lebron:Man I wonder why I can’t win a finals ring Kobe
    Kobe: I don’t either.
    Lebron:What do mean you have 3 rings
    Kobe: Please Shaq did all the work, I was just there
    Dwight: I know them negroes aint talking stuff
    about me shoot, I dunk over both of them and take LeBrons ring, oops I forgot he don’t got one( got swept by San-Antonio)

  • Feng

    LeBron: “Let me show you how my dad Greggy does it eh?”

  • Edward

    Lebron: Id rather bow to Mamba under my own will rather than have him crown me like he did to you Dwight…

  • TCruz

    “Sorry to bother you again guys but, what’s the second rule of Fight Club?”
    -Dwight Howard

  • Drew Tomafsky

    Kobe: Yo Bron, I bet you you gotta tie my tie for me at the closing cermonies if Dwight get dunked on at least once here.

    Bron: Well I might as well just pay up now then.

    Dwight: You guys talking about me?

    Kobe and Bron : Nah

  • Gr8 1

    LeBron: Let me fix your tie, you need to look good for the games.
    Kobe: Ok, when your done I’ll give you a kiss, sweet one!
    LeBron: sounds great, Boy Friend.
    Dwight: Hey your making me jealous Kobe!

  • Michael Hartnett

    LeBron and Kobe you aren’t Obama McCain, you never see them adjusting pins for eachother.

  • Blake Dell

    “Me and Dwight are so proud of you, you look so handsome for your first day of prep school.”

  • Michael Bui

    Kobe: Hey! let go my blouse…..

  • Michael Bui

    Kobe: Hey Lebron, tell me how my tie taste yeah?
    Lebron: Why dont u tell me how my ass taste instead?

  • JMac

    Lebron: Ok, now Kobe, we have to be on our best behavior coz represent all of USA.
    Dwight: *sobbing*

  • JMac

    LeBron: Ok Kobe. We have to look good coz we represent all of USA.
    Dwight: *sobbing*

  • MickeyMoe

    Dwight’s Mind: “If I smile for this camara, I might look just as sweet.”

  • Tem

    Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, B’ball style.

  • Tem

    Kobe: Stop kneeling infront of me Dwight!

  • youngq

    yo kobe you got some of shaq a** on your tie let me help you cover it because we’re represent the usa pimpin

  • youngq

    yo kobe you got some of shaq a** on your tie let me help you cover it. because we’re represent the usa. Dwight it’s not coming out bron

  • Briel

    Kobe: Careful Bron don’t hurt my pinkie, someone needs to carry this team.

  • ryan

    LeBron: “don’t worry kobe, its supposed to be that tight”

  • Tom

    Lebron And Kobe An Item (GAY)

    Lebron: Hoooneeeeyyyy, Do your tie up.. Mr President is here. Is that Gum?
    Dwight Howard: WTF!

  • Christoffer

    So, a mamba, a king and a superman walk in to a bar..

  • Ramneet

    Dwight- Those two got really close in Beijing, I got to tell coach.

  • longtimefan

    Kobe: bron fix me up
    lebron: it easy I’ll show you
    Dwite: watch this front’n when i just the man dat.

  • Conor

    Dwight: Man, I wish I could get the kinng to do my tie. Istead all I can do is dunk.

  • Ahmed

    Kobe: Lebron can you help me with my button?
    Lebron: Hold on, Chris Paul had to help me with mine.
    Dwight: What do you mean, this isn’t an earing?
    Lebron: Dang, we shoulda went to college.

  • Deric

    Lebron: okay…Kobe, now i want you to know that if you dont say i should really accept the award, my good man dwight over there said he is going to injure on accident when the season comes around.

    Dwight: HUh?…I said what?

    Kobe: Okay…not too tight

  • http://slamonline.com/ Ryne Nelson

    Thanks everyone for the great comments. The winner this month is Money Bill Williams from Australia. That’s two in a row for the Aussies!

  • Dre

    Kobe: hey Lebron can u give new hand with my tie
    Lebron: yea sure I got u no problem
    Dwight: that’s my job, lets see who’s gonna fix ur ties when we get back to the NBA

  • Dre

    Kobe: hey Lebron can u give me a hand with my tie
    Lebron: yea sure I got u no problem
    Dwight: that’s my job, lets see who’s gonna fix ur ties when we get back to the NBA