Friday, April 13th, 2007 at 2:05 pm  |  132 responses

Sure Shot

They say a picture’s worth 1,000 words. But you only need a couple to win.

Here at SLAM, we always knew Stephon Marbury was special; as his Starbury affordable-shoe campaign and new talk show, Stars on Stars, proves, Steph is far from your average NBA player. Do you think this young Jazz fan knows all this? And regardless of his motivation, what might these two be discussing? You know the drill: hit us with the caption that best sums up this summit. The winner will be blessed with a dope prize from our vault and their name in Trash Talk next issue.

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  • http://thebasketballjones.net J.E. Skeets

    “My seven mommies thank you for endorsing affordable shoes.”

  • http://thebasketballjones.net J.E. Skeets

    “You even stretch lazy.”

  • http://thebasketballjones.net J.E. Skeets

    “I once put a towel over my head when I took a dump on the living room floor.”

  • http://www.myspace.com/linkstigatorkevin Kevin Wilson

    After seeing the on-court chemistry, Isiah Thomas traded away Channing Frye, an unprotected first-rounder in 2009 and signed Tommy to a 7-year, $107-million extension.

  • W. Mack

    No bikinis. No thongs…..ALL NUDE

  • jplant

    “you don’t, like, actually ball in those starbury’s do you?”

  • M. Tunon

    Starbury my ass, I’ll drop 27 and 12 dimes on you early

  • Haagen-Daz

    kid:”I’ve always wanted to know what kind of berry it a Starbury”

  • Quinton

    That kid’s thinking,” This is exactly what I don’t wanna be.”

  • http://slamonline.com P. Moore

    hey Steph, can i get your autograph:(since i couldn’t find Andrei)

  • http://slamonline.com P. Moore

    hmmmm… I wonder what NYK stands for

  • http://slamonline.com P. Moore

    kid: “Are you morman”

  • ton

    why does your head look so big mister?

  • Rain Drops

    Starbury: ‘How much do u think huggies r?

    Kid: ‘U tell me u baby!!

  • rob stewart

    It’s hard out here for a Jazz fan. This Kirelenko jersey ran me $80. Can you sign some Jazz players to your line?

  • Kevin R.

    kid: “can you sign my jersey?” marbury: “sure little man” kid: “sike!!!!!”

  • Gilbert0

    “I know kid, Starburys suck…”

  • Jordan Mehta

    Hey Mr. what ever your name is. Can you teach me how to survive with so may overpaid players.

  • AW

    “Um Mister Marbury I have here Eddie Curry’s lunch box, could you give it to him during the first time out. He likes his food

  • http://mybleedingfingertips.blogspot.com/ Max Airington

    “I’ll grow into this jersey before you make the playoffs.”

  • Tim Dennis

    Marbury ” Hey Nate you looking pale man, are you ok?”

  • Bill Biehl

    Have you seen my daddy? He’s a tall guy with funny hair, number 47. Have you seen him?

  • Yuri

    Kid: “Hey mr chris quinn can i have your autograph?”

    *chris quinn was mistakened for J will before”

  • Yuri

    Starbury: “come to the dark side… we got cheap shoes.”


    Kid: Give me your autograph or Ill scream!

  • Yuri

    Kid: I have come to wipe your shiny head with my royal towel your Highness.

  • Yuri

    Kid: I be rockin my Chuck Teezys while u be wearing your Starbursts!

  • Yuri

    Kid: Come to the Rucker. well play 1-on-1. then we’ll see who gets to decide the price of your shoe.

  • Yuri

    Starbury: Mini-mes in the house.
    Kid: Man shut up I’ll be like Yao Ming when im older.
    Starbury: You know we’re on camera right? so you shouldnt be swearing.
    Kid: I’ll buy your cheapass shoe if you dont tell my daddy i swore.

  • Yuri

    Kid: Excuse me sir can you tell me how to get to the Larry Brown fan club?

  • Tyrone Davis

    Steph- when did you come out?
    Kid- same year as Sebastian!
    Kid- but I back up somebody good
    Steph- hey that’s not cool

  • Gilbert0

    Kid:I don’t even whine as much as you.

  • Gilbert0

    This what we call the Starbury stretch.

  • John Holtz

    How you doin Strawberry, said AK47, “Say hello to my little friend.”

  • John Holtz

    Hey Starbury, one of us is a ladies man, well liked by his city, and has always had huge potential and the other one plays for the Knicks.

  • John Holtz

    Hey Starburst, What’s a nappy headed ho?

  • John Holtz

    Yo Mr. Marbury. Where’s the Mailman and why are we in the playoffs?

  • John Holtz

    Yo Maberry, me and my six moms love you, what are you doin later?

  • Charlie

    Kid “George Bush hates black people”

  • Charlie

    Kid “You aint from coney island, your from the country”

  • http://www.msn.com federico garcia

    Marbury:sup big fella,what are you up too?
    KID:can you get me A-K.47′s autograph please!!!

  • casey roblin

    hey good looking. u swing my way?

  • w0r0ud


  • chris pinder

    Starbury talks before the game with the utah jazz version of Nate Robinson.

  • w0r0ud


  • Kingjames

    Kid: are you my daddy.
    Stephon Marbury: ahh kid who is your mom.

  • Tim

    Are you familiar with the Gospel of Mormon?

  • Tim

    Have you heard the Good News?

  • http://myspace.com/freddypeezy Freddy

    Since Lebron or Lebron Jr. won’t wear shoes,I’ll Be Glad to ink an endorsement with my mother’s consent

  • http://myspace.com/freddypeezy Freddy

    Since Lebron or Lebron Jr. said they won’t be caught dead in one of your hundreds of variations of Starburys,I’ll be glad to ink an early endorsement deal with my mother’s permission

  • Bill Biehl

    Are you the guy from Scooby-Doo?

  • Isaac

    Hey Stephon,This jersey costed more than your whole Starbury clothing line

  • Isaac

    Let me get this straight,fourteen ninety eight for the shoes or fourteen ninety eight as in the last time the knicks won a title?

  • r.m.

    Kid: You guys suck so bad my mom put me in my nightshirt, cuz she knew I’d be asleep by halftime.

  • Western_dream

    Starbury – “So will sign a deal for us? Great, what this team needs is more guards.” Kid – “Sure, why not, i would get more rebounds than E-city, more assists than Jamal and more game time than JJ”

  • Kevin Huo

    Kid: um. mr. marbury? what happened to sebastian? last time i checked, you were like his tutor or something.

  • Yemi Olubowale

    ” Here is 15 dollars go get yourself some cheap shoes, tell your Mom Starbury says hey”

  • Yann Blavec

    Catalunia’s finest Ricky Rubio is the steal of the draft.

  • http://slamonline raymond

    kid: can you sign my jersey
    marbury: jesus kid you stealing my light

  • http://slamonline raymond

    kid: i’ll have 3 big macs and 4 cokes please

  • j holla

    Do you really think you’re going to make the playoffs this year.

  • jamie rossberg

    are you kidding me you want to trade me jerseys for what the new york knicks that suck big time ,where is tyson now the playoffs have you ever heard of them?

  • http://slamonline.com/online/2007/04/sure-shot-3/ Noah

    “At least you’ll be easier to guard now Andrei [Kirilenko]”

  • http://www.myspace.com/moorestreetmafia WILL I.E.

    “Hey it’s Nate’s twin brother from another”

  • jesse

    Kid- “Mr.Marbury can I borrow a dollar so I can get a pair of your shoes?

  • http://www.myspace.com/moorestreetmafia WILL I.E.

    ” Yo Steph, Bring me that ne Fat Joe I cant find it no where here”

  • 661

    Kid: The Knicks suck! SM: Shut up lil booger head.

  • kwame

    Kid: the ninja turtles are cool
    marbury: yea there cool but the power rangers are better

  • hollywud

    “i wanna pee on you”

  • Chris Ujma

    AK 4-7 (months)

  • Matthew Crane

    “Stephon, I spilled something on my jersey can I borrow your’s”

  • mustafa

    Starbury: So, kid, what do you think about the Knicks?

    Kid: You guys suck.

  • chief sucks

    my mom likes you

  • http://www.hooplife.ca jesuswasajew

    is this jersey baggy enough?



  • Mat MacDonald

    Kid- “So Deron Williams averages 16.4 points, 3.4 rebounds, 9.4 assists, and your coach just got an extension?”

    Marbury- “Haha, so what kid, I play on the knicks”

    Kid- “News flash Mr. Marbury, Isah just signed me to your team, he said I had, ‘potential’ and offered me $100 million…”

    Marbury- “Not again…”

  • Mike

    “mr. marbury my mommie and daddie can’t afford your shoes so can you please lower the price”

  • David

    Kid: “…so what did Isiah say about that roster spot?”

  • http://metsss.blogspot.com Jordan

    Kid: Could you sign this?
    Steph: I play Knicks
    Francis interrupts: No Steph you play FOR the Knicks

  • Decs

    jplant or Tim Dennis HAVE to win this competetion, it would be like Carmelo not getting voted in as an all-star by the coaches, and we all know how wrong that was.

  • raymond

    kid:let us win o else

  • Cody

    You know my jerseys are cheaper, right?

  • mister ?

    you stink mister marubury

  • http://www.myspace.com/linkstigatorkevin Kevin Wilson

    In our next edition of Stars on Stars, Stephon speaks with the media member who picked Deron Williams over Chris Paul for ROY.

  • William Monica

    So you think the Knicks need anymore small Guards because I’m thinking about trying out… hears my info

  • tedmond

    i hate your cheap as sneakers

  • Bigi

    Stocton-era is over!We play baggy these days…And Mr. Marbury you should lose the headband…

  • smart guy

    Didn’t you roll your ankles in those sneakers during the summer?!

  • ballin boy

    Kid: “Those new starburys are tight. I’m gonna have to cop a pair of those after this game son”

  • Corey Isaacs

    “Where did all your hair go?”

  • Corey Isaacs

    “Are you my daddy?”

  • jdn41

    kid: YOU SUCK

  • http://slamonline.com/online/2007/03/whats-my-name-2/#comment J Tuts

    Kid : Yo steph,I broke open my piggy bank and baught a pair of starbury’s
    Steph: Aight shorty, dats whats up
    Kid: The human head weighs eight pounds (From scene in Jerry Mcguire)
    Steph: Word I didnt know that
    Kid: How much does yours weigh
    Steph: (Dazed and confused)

  • Herb Davis

    Yo Kirilenko….You look Taller on T.V.

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    Only I can take a bite out of the BIG APPLE

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    Why are you on Broadway?I am the one ballin!

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    you dont hear the sweet Jazz music in New York!

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    Hey can I park my dad’s car on your big ass dome?

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    Hey I know you!They had over 50 pairs of your shoes at Walmart!!

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    You are the cheapest player in the NBA!

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    Kid:Hey, can i get a autograph?
    Marbury:Yeah sure
    Kid:Oh, I was talking to Franchise, his autograph will actually be worth something someday

  • http://slamonline.com fabian

    I’m the true point guard of New York!

  • Lavell Flemister

    Marbury: Dang kid I really didn’t think you could brake my ankles!

    Kid: Do you want me to call 911!

  • Mat MacDonald

    Kid: “Ah, we sit front row and the glare from your head has to go…”

    Steph: “Don’t hit a kid, don’t hit a kid…”

    Kid: “No, seriously, it looks like you just fell into a tub of the stuff they rub on my bum for rashes”

    Steph: “Ok, somebody get this kid out of here, we all know what happend the last time they kept one around…”
    *looks at Nate Robinson eating animal crackers…

  • Mat MacDonald

    Kid: “Do you read SLAM?”

    Steph: “Yeah, they just did an article on me.”

    Kid: “Well here, put this towel over your head so they don’t notice you. We don’t need anymore articles about struggling teams and players…”

    Kid: “I hope this doesn’t offend you but, would you like to wear my jersey too?”

  • Mark G

    Hi, my name is Ben and I am yet another undersized shooting guard that’s been added to the roster

  • Western_dream

    Kid- you guys are the Knicks right?
    Steph- yeah kid
    Kid (running away)- Mummy, mummy, I know why all the seats are empty!

  • Jeremy Hoff

    Hey mister you look SLAM-In in those Kicks.

  • http://breadcity.wordpress.com Jake


  • http://www.yahoo.com H to the Izzo

    Hi I’m with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints would you like to hear a message about why th Knicks Suck!

  • charles e. collins jr.

    Kid to starbury:”I like your shoes, but Ben Wallace scares the hell out of me!

  • charles e. collins jr.

    kid to starbury:”I like your shoes,but but why did you hire the monster under my bed to help endorse them?”(Ben Wallace)

  • Ben Garman

    “The Knicks?! (Runs to mommy) Mommy I wanted to see a real basketball game not that team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters!”

  • korak163

    Kid: “$14.98!? Boy, you must be trippin’”

  • Chris

    Kid: Even if you sign those shoes, they’ll still be worth $15…

  • Chris

    By the time the knicks make the playoffs, your shoes will be $1.

  • Chris

    Kid:If you come to the mormon church with me, I might be able to get you on the jazz!

  • Jesse Rojo

    you should consider growing because whenever i look at the top of yo head the first thing that comes to mind is “it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  • Jesse Rojo

    you should consider growing hair because whenever i look at the top of your head the first thing that comes to mind is”it burns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” p.s.you suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Bill Biehl

    Kid to Starbury: Your the reason my dad (joey c) got fired. Now we’re Utah fans, thanks alot.

  • Zion

    marbury to kid: “nate you look pale”…..

  • Joey

    Steph:Kid do i seriously need to lower the price of my shoes just to get you to be a fan of the knicks?
    Steph:How does 13.73 sound? I like the strange prices
    Kid:Shut up

  • CBeezy

    “Why don’t you just wear my jersey Mr.Starbury, you’re gonna be giving this team the ball game anyway.”

  • CBeezy

    I meant…

    “Why don’t you just wear my jersey Mr.Starbury, you’re gonna be giving this team the ball all game anyway.”

  • Shelby Pace

    Starbury: “Eh Kirelinko you gonna stuff my shot tonight”?!

    Kid : Hell yeah !

  • Phenom

    Steph: Hey Kid you should get rid of those vans & get sum of these Starburys.
    Kid: Nah, I’m saving my allowance to buy me some J’s.

  • JACK

    So thats how you shoot the three point shot Mr. Marbury.

    p.s. look in the top left hand corner

  • Mickey C.

    Starbury:”Hey aint that Stocktons old jersey”
    KID:”Yeah he gave it to me cuz it was to big for him”

  • Mickey C.

    kid:”So how many shots are you gonna miss tonight?”

  • Mickey C.

    Kid:”Instead of calling u the New York Knickerbockers, im gonna start callen u guys the New Dork Brickerlaunchers”

  • Mickey C.

    Kid:”Ha ha”
    Kid:”I can see my entire reflection on your head”

  • Mickey C.

    Star:”Your bout as tall as ma boy Nate”
    Kid:”And your bout as stupid as ur coach”

  • http://slamonline.com Sam Rubenstein

    CONTEST OVER – We have picked a winner. Check out SLAM issue #109 when it comes out to see who.