By Sam Rubenstein

malkovichDid we learn nothing from Maurice Clarett?  If you’re going to fire shots from your car, don’t do it two blocks away from the f–king WHITE HOUSE!!! Lonny Baxter, whom the Bobcats dropped like the proverbial bad habit, was arrested… by the Secret Service. They found shell casings and a handgun in the car, and this can’t be good with the President napping nearby. I think they have laws about taking your camera to certain places in that area, nevermind a gun. I know that Washington D.C. is one of the most crime-infested neighborhoods in the country (and I’m not counting PACs and corporate/political crime or the voting process ZING!), but if the Secret Service arrests you, then to quote Ice-T after he found out that The first Bush president spoke up against Bodycount, “The s–t has hit the fan.”

Lonny’s current team, Italian Montepaschi Siena, must be thrilled.

If it seems like I’ve been cursing alot when I write lately, it’s becuse I spent yesterday going through a Luther Campbell transcript. And while I’m in the cussin’ mood, and since I put that picture of Malkovich from In the Line of Fire up there, I’d like to share with you all the finest exchange in the history of cinema:

Malkovich: I have a rendezvous with death

Eastwood: You have a rendezvous with my a$$ motherf–ker!