Dikembe Mutombo, the Rockets’ Own Dick Cheney

by January 15, 2009

Deke, don’t ever stop being you: “My hands are full with all the things I need to reach all of these young guys before I leave the game. I’m not done yet. Just let me get them into the bunker like Vice President Cheney. I won’t start any wars. And I won’t shoot anybody in the hunting field either. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

More Mutombo goodness: “I’m very critical,” Mutombo said. “Those are bull. I told him that. He’s too tall to be taking charges. He needs to learn to play defense without using his chest. You don’t block a shot with you chest. You block it with your hands…Maybe Yao is listening to Shane (Battier). Maybe he wants to be a guard or something. Man, I’ve got a lot of things to work on. Maybe he’s planning to lead the league charges. So I have to stop him. I have to teach him to lead the league in blocked shots, not charges.”