I can’t feel my FACE!!!

By Sam Rubenstein

needleI got up early this morning, but not to watch FIBA basketball. That would have been a lot more fun. I was at the dentist, and the novocaine still has not worn off. I am drooling all over myself as I type this. If there is anything in life I fear, it is the dentist. I think of really weird stuff while I’m having work done. For example, today as he had a needle jammed into my upper gum, I started to think “What if there’s an earthquake and the needle snaps in half? Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts!” I’ve got more metal in my mouth than any rapper or Stephen Jackson, and none of it is by choice. I’ve had teeth pulled, cavaties filled, root canals, wisdom teeth blown up four at a time… I HATE the dentist. I remember the days before they used a Qtip with whatever that stuff is on it to numb you before injecting. I’ve also been told that my grandma would refuse novocaine because she thought it was a waste of time. Damn, I’m soft.
This post was 100% basketball-free, so I guess I could mention that my dentist was evicted from his office because of real estate mogul Magic Johnson. He spent half the time trying to find where he put his stuff. That made me kind of nervous. It’s all your fault Magic. Also, happy birthday Kobe!

I didn’t watch the Mets game last night, but I heard about what happened. I have my Beltran t-shirt on right now. And I cried a tear of joy when I found out that a fellow member of TCP, Shawn Green, is officially coming to the city.

In other completely non-basketball news, tonight we’re celebrating my parents 43rd Anniversary. Happy Anniversary! This celebration will take place near their childhood home, in a magical land which I have not been to other than Yankee games or my Freshman year of high school called “The Bronx.” Dialogue of the day goes to the following conversation:

ME: So, I hear we’re going to Little Italy in the Bronx for dinner. There’s a little Italy in the Bronx?

My DAD: (Beaming with pride) Yeah, when I was a kid there was a guy killed in a barbershop there and everything!

Should be a fun night. Alright, back to work.