Lashing Out

By Sam Rubenstein

WARNING: I am not going to be in a good mood on Monday. I guess writing this down now is a form of theapy. It’s better than going on a 12 state killing spree. I suppose.

Ya see, when I was 8 years old, I watched the New York Giants go on their Super Bowl run and win it all. They were a quasi-local team and coming from a non-sports family, this was enough to get me to be a Giants fan. 4 years later, the greatest Super Bowl of them all ended with me winning $15 from my best friend/worst enemy. At 12 years old, when your allowance is $5 a week, that’s like winning $1000. Don’t do the math. Things were great for the Giants. Then they sucked for most of the next decade, but I was cool with the championships. Jim Fassell took them to Super Bowl they had no chance of being in, and then they had that unbelievable choke job out in Frisco. The game that should have been known as the worst in Giants history. I think what I just witnessed was worse than that.

I hate the world. No more sunshine. No more happiness. I want you all to feel my pain.

The NFC East was wrapped up 3 weeks ago. I got in my car and headed out to the Sunday Night game against the Bears with the Giants ready to take their place as the best in the NFC. Home field throughout the playoffs. BALLLIIINNGGGG was at its absolute ZENITH! I listened to that song 12 times on the way to the game. Even with half the team injured, late in the first half, the Giants were up, and we were happy. The Bears were backed up on 3rd and 22 on their side of the field with the clock running down. They spread out 4 receivers. I turned to the guy next to me and said “They are definitely running the ball here. They just want to run out the clock.”: It was that obvious. They ran it, got a first down, scored a TD soon after, came back in the second half, there was a 108 yard INT TD return, yeah it’s all in the history books, great for them. Last week the Jacksonville game proved that Eli Manning is going to piss me off for a long time. Then this Titans game.

That is a three game collapse, and the Cowboys with everybody’s favorite Jessica Simpson dating QB, are running away with it. Oh, big game next Sunday. Giants-Cowboys. At the Meadowlands. There is a chance that the Giants might win the game. Maybe Romo finally comes down to earth. Maybe T.O. gets jealous that someone else is getting all the attention. Perhaps Eli will throw a ball so far behind a receiver that it will go back in time and end up in the hands of Plaxico who is taking a nap on the field.

That Kiwanuka play… oh God. We can use injuries as an excuse, but that doesn’t excuse the team stupidity. If you mention the name Tom Coughlin to me, I will fight you. I will fight you in a cage until one of us is dead. I am not joking. I will end your days on this earth.

Lang’s Falcons have their own issues, with Mike Vick’s frustration coming out. Whatever. I’m with you Michael. I will flip the double bird to everyone I see for the rest of my life. I would trade Eli Manning for Mike Vick’s two middle fingers.

Right now I feel like my stomach is eating itself from the inside out. My eyes are bleeding like the latest Bond villain’s. My hands are shaking. I almost turned into the Hulk three times. This is not good. Not good. It is 8:20 PM right now. I should eat something. Hopefully nobody makes eye contact with me at the pizza place, or it’s ON.

So, we’ll see how tomorrow goes. Will I be able to compartamentalize my rage and maintain the illusion of professionalism? Probably not.