Random Thoughts For A Long Weekend

by February 17, 2007
13

By Jake Appleman 

We have a commenter over in these parts named “DP”. After every comment he posts, he drops his catch phrase: “Play wit it.” I’m a fan of his catch phrase, so I’m going to temporarily jack (and pluralize) it. Here are some random thoughts: Play wit em. 

–Gilbert Arenas is currently my favorite basketball player. He joins an illustrious group of former favorites: John Starks, Lou Roe (in college), Penny Hardaway, Kendall Gill, Sam Cassell, Stephon Marbury, Keith Van Horn, Allen Iverson, Kerry Kittles, Slava Medvedenko and LeBron James. If you haven’t seen the video of Gil’s shooting contest with Deshawn Stevenson, check it out.

–If you’re in Vegas and you see Spencer Haywood with a female clown, just move along…

–I just joined a spring league basketball team in NYC. We decided to call ourselves “Both Teams Played Hard”. This is great because I’ve been looking for a way to incorporate these words into my life more often. I think we’re going to be like the rec league Phoenix Suns. I plan on being the rec league Boris Diaw: Long, active, decent jumper, decent jump hook, made better by better players around him. If my buddy recovers from his skiing-related hand injury, we’ll have Steve Nash, and our captain is a Shawn Marion look alike. I don’t know if we’re going to have an Amare-esque presence, so we may be more like the ’06 Suns.

–Anyone else find it ironic that Tim Hardaway used to rock the Nike Air Bacons? You know, now that his ass is fried.

In a related note, who would be against locking Hardaway in a closet with Andy Dick and Sean Hayes? Anyone? Anyone? Good, I’m glad we clarified that.

–ASG 2007 MVP Prediction: Tony Parker. I’m only making this pick because without Nash and AI, Parker will be handling the ball a LOT. If the East wins, you gotta think Gilbert will go off.

–Is it bothersome that Joumana Kidd alleges that Jason has gotten more ass over the years than Iceberg Slim hosting a donkey convention in the Red Light District? No, not really. Is it bothersome that he allegedly once hit her with a cookie? Yes, yes it is. Unless Kidd actually picked up Magic Johnson’s wife, Cookie, and threw her into Joumana. Actually, that would have been much worse. (Related note: I read Magic Johnson’s “My Life” when I was in fifth grade. The whole chapter he talked about using condoms; I had no idea what he was talking about. I think at the time I thought he was referring to some sort of hat. I guess I wasn’t far off. Back then I also thought babies came from kissing. Again, I wasn’t far off, but that’s no excuse for how much of a pimp I thought Zack Morris was. “Zack, no. You’re going to get Kelly pregnant!” Anyway, I’m guessing many in Vegas haven’t read “My Life”… Along those lines, what’s the over under on number of groupies inseminated by NBA players? I’m going to keep it realistic and say 11.)

–Random All Star weekend memory: Back in 98, when the ASG hit NYC, I went out to the Jacob Javits center with two of my cousins for the big NBA convention. One of my cousins had been jumped earlier that year, so he’d started carrying knives with him. We got to the metal detector and he set the system off. When they asked him to empty his pockets, he pulled 4 knives out of his pockets. I think three of them were swiss army. An elderly female security guard looked at him quizzically and then asked, “Son, are you in the bloods?” Ironically, his face turned red, before we almost died of laughter.

–I’m glad I skipped the Rookie/Soph game last night to watch Boiler Room. I’m pretty sure the soundtrack alone was better than that game.