Underworld: Evolution

Finally! A sequel that’s better than its predecessor. It’s been three years since we last saw Kate Beckinsale’s laced up in leather S&M clothing and totin’ more guns than Annie Oakley. And let me tell you, it was well worth the wait. Not just because the suit looks like it was painted on, but because everything else that was part of the movie and story fell into place.

Underworld Evolution takes us deeper into the dark world of the vampires and lycans (werewolves) who have had an ongoing war for centuries. And while the action and special effects were done more justice than they were in the first flick, what really made the movie interesting was the plot and story the action was built around.
The movie takes place right after the events that took place in part one. Victor (OG vampire) is worm food, and now everyone’s fearing the return of Marcus (Triple OG vampire) and the repercussions he’s gonna dish out like the point guard off your favorite team for the death of the old man, Victor. Needless to say, the pain and death that was inflicted on the poor souls in this flick was something out of Mortal Kombat, na’mean? Straight gangsta s***!
The plot of the story basically has to do with the first vampire (Marcus) and the first lycan, his twin brother, William. After waking up from his long slumber, Marcus is like, “You know what? F*** it. I’ma get my brother and we gonna run this rap s*** like Jay-Z back in 2000.” Problem is, his brother is locked away in an undisclosed location. So now he goes on a bloody, gore-filled rampage to find his brother and in doing so, does some pretty wild s***.
Now it’s up to Bangin’ Becky and her man, the herb vampire/lycan Hybrid, to stop him dead in his tracks before he unleashes a hell on earth that hasn’t been seen since the LA riots. Feel me?
Now, on to my unique perspective on things.
First off, Becky is so hot she could melt sand in the Sahara desert. Not only is she the hottest female action star since, well, ever, but she actually does a love scene. And let me tell you, she shows more skin than Lil’ Kim. But judging by the way that the hybrid herb made love to her, I can only say what was once said by one of the greatest MC’s ever: “Youse a Laaaaaaaaame!” Man listen, had that been me, I woulda did her in like DMX did Taral Hicks in Belly. (Don’t tell wifey I said that.) Word is Bon Jovi!
Second, the action sequences was off the hook. Not only were they well shot, but there was mad blood and gore. So many movies have action scenes where everything goes so fast you don’t know who’s winning the brawl, na’mean? So Len Wiseman (the director) definitely gets special brownie points for that.
And third, the plot and story line was off the hook and easy to follow. We find out who originated the vampire and lycan clans and why they got the kind of beef that would scare off Suge Knight. Now that says a lot.
When it’s all said and done, I gave the flick 4.5 Gangstas.
No, it’s not gonna get no Oscars, but it will get a few Omar’s (the awards ceremony was suspended last year for unspecified reasons). I mean, okay, so a few things were a little far-fetched, but so are two cowboys falling in love with each other. And I ain’t hating. I got love for Elton John and Ellen, but I mean what’s the chances of that happening? I mean Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man ain’t run off and get hitched. They kicked ass! But that’s just me. Anyway, Underworld Evolutions rocked more than Chris did in New Jack City.
-Omar Mazariego