Getting My Vegas On

By Khalid Salaam

Being that the NBA All-Star Weekend is usually the most outrageous example of sustained debauchery that takes place in any given year, most people who go understand that and go in with sort of a gameplan. However being that All-Star Weekend is taking place in Las Vegas, a place that proudly wears its “Sin City” tag it seems that there is high probability that something crazy is going to happen. There are just too many variables to account for to have a real idea of what to expect.

For one thing, people are going to be determined to party harder than maybe they ever have. Jokers have been planning for this the moment the word came down from the League. There had been rumors about Vegas getting a franchise and/or being awarded an All-Star game that were legit enough for us to do a City Game article on LV in which we asked local authorities about the feasibility of it happening. Those in the city seemed to think that it was happening so when I found out, I wasn’t totally blown. But once the public caught wind of the situation I got about 20 emails and phone calls in the next 24 hours in which every person said something in several variations of “ this sh— is gonna be crazy!!”

So now that it’s here you can sense the energy building. It’s like an adult spring break, a 21st century Freaknik even. Whatever you want to call it, the odds say that this will either be the greatest weekend ever or the worst. There isn’t any middle ground. Sam, Ben, Lang and I will be out there partaking and working (not sure in what order though). I assume all the hookers and groupies will be there of course but we’re also talking a record number of opportunists, hustlers, straight stick-up kids, scantily dressed females who you’ll confuse as hookers but later find out to be businesswomen trying to drum interest in their internet company, people complaining about traffic, cab drivers trying to pay their next three months mortgage by inflating prices, cops being over aggressive, next level weaves, white girls fawning over every well dressed black guy who they think might have paper, black girls seeing this and hating until they realize that those dudes aren’t dudes they want anyway, quite possibly someone getting literally knocked the F out and then having to stay the rest of the weekend trying to pretend he can’t tell people are laughing at him, fake industry dudes who will rock fake evisu’s and af 1’s with no shame, real dudes who will rock the real stuff and think they are special because of that, crazy long lines to get into clubs, bouncers having a field day whooping peoples asses once they get outta line, at least 1 fight each day between some dude who is pissed that some celebrity tried to take his girl, several hurling instances, Dj’s bringing out the best in our inner dancing machines and several moments of being stopped and asked if you want to buy some exclusive gear. And the All-Star Game as well. Can you tell that I’m excited?