Golden State Warriors Season Preview


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I won the rights to this by running my mouth, so with this preview that is all I am gonna do. Run my mouth about the team that is NOT the Run TMC Warriors that made small children happy, cured cancer, and brought the messiah of basketball and gay haters to Oakland. The Warriors of today are a far cry from that. First let’s all reminisce about last year.

Golden State had their run and gun style, and had their moments throughout the year with new old coach Don Nelson replacing as good as dead Tim Montgomery to lead the team through its ups and downs. Nelson then decided to trade away half the roster to get Stephen Jackson, Weird Al Harrington, Sarunas Jasikevicius (who just opted out) and forward Josh Powell (who should have stayed at NC State for more than a year). They then went on to make the 8th seed, creating the ‘We Belive’ Slogan and UPSETTING THE WORLD (and Dallas) to advance to play and get destroyed by the Utah Jazzy Fizzles. This year Baron Davis looks like he is on the way to another great year, but starting a book club? I mean sure B-Diddy can shoot the rock and give enough dimes to feed all the homeless people in California for a year, but he gets hurt more than his old knees can afford and is starting to give glimpses of becoming the next Nick Van Exel with all the mileage he’s put on those knees.

Kelenna Azubuike is by far the most entertaining player on that team. I guarantee that he will put fans in the seats and forget that Jason Richardson is gone off to BETLand. Marco Belinelli is the dark horse on that team. He is a lights out shooter and those Euro boys can sure shoot, look at Dirk, that’s Marco Belinelli 3000 right their, so to Nellie: PLAY HIM, OR LOSE GAMES. Stephen Jackson isn’t the same player he was when he got in that infamous brawl way back when. But he did get that new ink over the summer (praying guns, and they say Deshawn Stevenson has bad taste), which scared Don Nelson enough into promoting him and former Philly bench warmer Matt Barnes with captain badges for their heroics in last years playoffs. What do those mean? They mean about as much as Shaq’s cop badge.

The team is still Baron’s and will be until B-Diddy can’t do it no more so have fun with those irrelevant C’s fellas. In other news, Andris Biedrins IS A BEAST. WATCH OUT FOR HIM OR HE WILL SEND YOUR SHOT ON A EURO TRIP. Mickeal Pietrus is also being slept on and had an unhappy summer, but that Frenchman will throw it down like Napoleon Bonaparte on your @SS so don’t leave him a lane open.

Newcomers are headed by Brandan Wright,whom Michael Jordan drafted but traded to get J-Rich. When seeing Brandon play at UNC two things came to my mind
1. Mr. Stretch is real?
2. I need to donate to UNICEF A.S.A.P – Save Africa!!!

Brandon- gain some weight and you and those vines you use for arms will be just fine.

Other new fellas are Austin ‘Awesome’ Croshere, Troy Hudson, Steven ‘Lamb chop’ Lasme, and Kosta Petrovic. Besides Awesome Croshere (who can rebound pretty good for a white hot eboy), that is an unproductive bunch that should get as many combined minutes as Troy Hudson sold rap albums.

Anyway this season i predict they win 40 – 42 games and get 3rd in their division. That’s either the 8th, 9th, or 10th seed. So to all you Warriors fans, sorry you didn’t get to write this. Blah Blah Blah, I should have wrote the Bobcats preview. EBOY, KEN, SAM THE MAN, AND EVERYBODY ELSE HOORAY FOR ME MR. 100,000! Please comment below.