Isiah Thomas Brings the Crazy

by Marcel Mutoni

I literally laughed out loud this morning. This is not a common occurence, mind you. It is deathly cold here in Ottawa and it was at an absurdly early hour this morning when I guffawed. So, what could possibly have caused this most unusual reaction?

As is often the case, it is Isiah Thomas and the New York Knickerbockers.

You might want to make sure you’re sitting down for this one: Zeke believes that his Knicks can win a … CHAMPIONSHIP! As in, he has visions of champagne baths in a jovial NY locker room and his team being outfited with gaudy rings.

“My belief and what I see and where I believe we can go as a team and an organization, I believe one day that we will win a championship here and I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that,” Thomas said before the Knicks were walloped at the Garden by the depleted Sacramento Kings, 107-97. “I believe I’ll be a part of that.”

One of Isiah’s assistants then quietly leaked the blueprint to the embattled coach’s title dream: Lose a sexual harrasment suit to a former colleague; fight your equally troubled point guard at 30000 feet in the sky; have your own fans hold a protest to get you fired outside your place of work; regularly lose by twenty to thirty points; but most of all, smile a lot.

It’s a brilliant plan, he just needs a little more time to make it work. In Zeke we trust.