Links: Weekend Update

by October 06, 2008

by Lang Whitaker

Now I understand why lawyers get paid by the hour. Trying to wade through the NBA’s Pedowitz Report has been a daunting task. I’m about 70 percent dunzo, but I still have many more words and footnotes to sort through. So I’ll have to post the Pedowitz Retort tomorrow.

In the meantime, I spent the weekend catching up on several things. Finally saw the film “Vicky Christina Barcelona,” which I found disappointing. For one thing, it was the least-funny Woody Allen movie in a long time, and that’s saying something considering his recent work. But more disappointing was that for a film about a love triangle including Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson, there was very little love or triangulating, if you know what I mean.

Saturday night I happened to flip past CBS just as their MMA event was starting. I’ve never watching UFC or Elite XC or any of that stuff, so I decided to give it a chance. And I really enjoyed it. I thought it was going to be too wild and too bloody, but was pleased to find that it was more technical than I expected. It was also cool to see people get KTFO (fast forward to the 7 minute mark here). There are some definite changes needed, though. For one thing, someone needs to address the way these fighters dress on their way to the ring. They’re so covered in logos and weird clothing that they all look like they’re boy band rejects.

More importantly, a little faux drama wouldn’t hurt. For instance, in the fight I linked to above, one of the fighters was from Belarus. All I know is that if Vince McMahon was in charge, this dude would’ve come down the aisle waving a foreign flag, saying he hated the US, etc. And the fans would’ve booed him mercilessly, all the while knowing it was an act and appreciating the showmanship.

Either way, I enjoyed my initial MMA experience. Almost as much as I enjoyed “Saturday Night Live,” which had a couple of great skits. This “Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals” thing was ridiculous, which made it funny…

But my favorite skit was this one, and I don’t really know why, but it had me in tears…

(Maybe it was the doll hands that cracked me up. OK, it was definitely the doll hands.)

Let’s hit The Links…

“I got some air balls in the practices so far. I just need to reduce this.” — Roko Ukic, Toronto’s back-up point guard.

“It was probably the most painful pain I’ve ever experienced in my life.” — Amare Stoudemire, on tearing his iris during practice.

• Saturday night on TNT, we get the first outdoor NBA game since, well, as long as I can remember. The Suns and the Nuggets are playing in California, where it’s projected to be 92 degrees at tipoff. Great idea to have guys out there playing in that kind of heat.

• Great note about the L-Wolves in the Rocky Mountain News: The L-Wolves are actually paying a combined $10 million this season to Juwan Howard and Troy Hudson, neither of whom are actually playing for the L-Wolves this season. How does McHale always manage to escape the top of those lists of the worst GMs?

• Donnie Nelson tries hard in this interview with my main man Mike Fisher at to defend the Mavs not really making any big moves this summer. Look, all I know is that the Mavs are in the toughest division in the West, and after trading for Jason Kidd, the Mavs finished the season 16-13. I’m just saying…

• Your Miami Heat starting lineup for game one of the preseason?
C- Mark Blount
PF-Shawn Marion
SF-Yakhouba Diowara
SG-Dwyane Wade
PG-Chris Quinn
And that was before Quinn sprained his ankle. I guess they’ll be a lot better with Beasley in there instead of Diawara.

It’s not the humidity that’s so bad, it’s the Heat.

• Check the note here about Jared Jeffries getting injury rehab tips from Terrell Owens. Dr. Norman Scott is rolling over in his grave.

• Finally, look who put on a shooting exhibition in Detroit: Walter Herrmann!! Get him out of those suits and onto the floor!