The Pistons are going to The Finals. Because of Batman.

By Sam Rubenstein

I was conducting some groundbreaking research the other day. Don’t want to get too deep into this cause it could mess up the MacArthur Grant proposal, but here goes. Never mind the Chauncey injury, or any other “strategy” or “player talent” things floating through your mind.

Here goes…

In the ancient times there was a Fort Wayne Pistons, who got to The Finals a few times. There was also a silly Batman movie where we learned the secret to world peace is turning all of the world leaders at the UN into piles of different colored sands, then mixing the sand up an re-sorting it so that everybody speaks a different language. All of this is irrelevant.

The next time Detroit got to the Finals was 1988, when they lost. On their run to the ’89 championship, the original Tim Burton BATMAN was released. “Wait ’till they get a load of me.” “I’m Batman.” “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” Other classic lines. Pistons win the title.

In between that time and 2005, the Pistons either won championships or didn’t get to The Finals at all, there was no middle ground. There was also a stream of terrible Batman movies. Let’s kick some ICE!

As defending champs, while the Pistons were in The Finals, Batman Begins hit theaters, the second great Batman film of the modern Batman era. The Pistons lose in The Finals to the Spurs.

Since then, no Batman movies have been made, and there have been no Finals trips for the Pistons… until now.

Batman: The Dark Knight, featuring the eerie performance of the late Heath Ledger who said he based his version of The Joker on Sid Vicious, comes out this summer. That means the Pistons will go back to The Finals. Now that I really think about it, Pistons vs. Lakers would mean a showdown of Ledger’s Joker vs. Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Whoa, this is deep.

So it is written, so it shall be done.