Tuesday, March 24th, 2009 at 9:00 am  |  34 responses

Bill Walton: Still Delightfully Crazy

by Marcel Mutoni

Harvey Pollack, the legendary Sixers’ statistician, recently celebrated his 87th birthday. His longtime friend Bill Walton marked the occasion by leaving him precisely what you’d expect a Bill Walton voicemail to sound like.

The Philly Inquirer got their hands on the loopy, rambling audio and have transcribed it for our reading pleasure:

Happy birthday, happy birthday. Harvey, this Bill Walton just in case you thought it might have been Neil Young or Tony Bennett or Barry Manilow or someone else. But I just wanted to call and wish you the happiest of birthdays and just say thanks for everything, Harvey. You make our lives so wonderful, so full, so complete. And you are such an intergalactic treasure. I cannot believe it’s gone so fast – 87 years young. Oh. My. Gosh. You have given your life to make everybody else’s better, Harvey, and we just wanted to say thank you on this most special day for you. And we hope that you have just many, many, many, many more birthdays. Happy birthday, happy birthday. Thanks for not only making a difference, Harvey, thanks for making the difference … in all of our lives. Where on earth would we be without Harvey Pollack? Happy birthday to you.

“You’re the absolute greatest. We could never thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Keep it going forever, Harvey. You are our true inspiration. You are our beacon of hope. You are our moral compass and guiding light. Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you. Thanks Harvey. Bill Walton here just in case you thought it might have been somebody who can really sing. OK. You take care. We love you, Harvey. Thanks again. Bye.”

I wish Bill could call me for my birthday.

You can listen to the madness here.


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  • Rome

    “an intergalactic treasure”? Wow!!! I guess aliens and human alike love Harvey..lol

  • http://www.shawn-kemps-offspring.blogspot.com/ TADOne

    I’ve got nothing. I’ll wait for the true comedians to comment.

  • http://www.mynameinorange.blogspot.com Hisham

    Was that an assassination attempt by Walton? Trying to make his heart stop?

  • http://ittakesanationofmillionstoholdthissac.blogspot.com ciolkstar

    Wow. Maybe Walton was tripping? Intergalactic treasure? Really?

  • jay

    Which other purpose does voicemail serve but leave each other rambling messages?

  • Zabba

    I though Walton doesn’t smoke weed anymore.

  • Fat Lever

    HAHAHAHAHA, I was dying when I heard this played on 610WIP(Philly Sports Talk Radio station).

    I thought the only intergalactic treasure in the NBA is what’s in Damon Stoudamire’s aluminum foil. Now there are 2.

  • http://sportzin.com Joey E.

    the dude’s 87, he deserves it

  • http://www.sprint.com/sero dma

    is it harveys birthday? walton didnt specify….

  • http://hibachi20.blogspot.com/ BETCATS

    This is what happens when the Grateful Red Portland Trail Blazes a whole bunch of ‘trees’ and uses lots and lots ‘acid’.

  • http://indianz.com R3Z

    Between the whacky-tabbacky in his peace pipe and visions in his backyard tipi, Walton’s world is only understood by thoose who visit it with regularity.

  • http://www.alllooksame.com Tarzan Cooper

    bill walton gets his back “medicine” from a shaman, psilocybin

  • underdog

    Now, that’s news.

  • John D

    HAHAHAHAHAHA. Bill’s the best.

  • sefos

    i don’t know what bill’s smoking nowadays, but i want some, too.

  • Daniel

    All I want is to have Bill Walton replace Reggie Miller.

  • http://joeloholic.wordpress.com Joel O’s

    An intergalactic treasure. Just… wow.

  • luke

    What a fricken brown nose.

  • Teddy-the-Bear

    LOL this just made me like Bill Walton. What an hilarious dude!

  • ab_40

    I’m with daniel on this one although I think bill is anoying from time to time reggie is just terrible and I don’t think the other broadcasters like him.

    When he went on a rant when Ron artest made an in traffic dunk he went crazy on his own reggie like way and when he stopped marv asked reggie, are you allright? That there was priceless but otherwise I don’t like him

    Bill Walton seems like a very positive person I respect that in him.

  • Dallas J

    someone get to work on a long overdue Bill Walton Soundboard

  • https://twitter.com/TheDiesel Anton

    “Oh.My.Gosh”? Holly = Bill Walton?

  • ka


  • http://slamonline.com Russ Bengtson

    I’m never leaving anyone a voicemail ever again. The media sucks.

  • JoeMaMa

    The Patriot Act – catching stoners, deadheads, and hobbling heros of hyperbole.
    Check the brownies next time. Thanks for the memories.

  • http://www.nba.com/suns Dacre

    “…I could see sound, I could smell colour…” Mind you the greatest colour commentary I have EVER heard was when Bill Walton likened Boris Diaw to Mozart…and it made sense. Go look for it on youtube.

  • http://www.nba.com/suns Dacre

    “intergalactic treasure….” – Bill Walton strikes me as the kind of good-natured fellow that could sit through the StarWars movies and honestly believe it was a ‘Natural Geographic special documentary on HBO.

  • clapzilla

    It Would Be Even Better If We Found Out Walton Doesn’t Even Know Pollack. No Wonder He’s Missing TV Time For Surgery, The Drugs Are Great!

  • clapzilla

    Speaking of Awkward Quotes, Here’s Melo On The Recent Twitter Trend: “People got fans. People want to touch their fans.” I Wonder If He Had A Certain Reigning-MVP In Mind When He Said That.

  • melvin ely

    if you listen closely you can hear seth rogan cracking up in the background

  • melvin ely

    oh and clapzilla please stop posting like every comment you put up is a goddam headline thanks

  • doyouwantmore

    PFFF!! LOL What a freakin’ baby boomin’ hippy.

  • larrylegend

    what’s wrong about that? ok, walton is a bit crazy, in a positive way, but the game needs that, and com on, it’s basicly a free world!

  • Blinguo

    Pycho B, not T, but not psycho access hollywood guy. Pat something?