Saturday, June 4th, 2011 at 11:37 am  |  24 responses

Mock: Jimmer Fredette, No. 13

“Fredette” is French for “season ticket sales.”

by Dennis Tarwood / @tuffyr

At this point in the Draft, Phoenix Suns owner Robert Sarver and President of Basketball Operations Lon Babby have plotzed. They cannot believe their luck. Bob is sketching the season ticket package cover on the back of his draft sheet while giggling like a psycho schoolgirl. Lon’s rolling the draft whiteboard out of the war room and down a flight of stairs. Won’t need that anymore!

Hell, even Alvin Gentry has joined the fun by ripping the defensive page of the Suns’ playbook out of the binder, tossing it into a metal wastebasket, and flicking lit matches inside. For the Phoenix Suns will now draft the nascent face of the franchise; the savior of the season ticket plan; the adrenaline injection into the heart of the offense:

With the 13th pick in the 2011 SLAMonline Mock Draft, the Phoenix Suns select…

Jimmer Fredette from Brigham Young University.

Welcome home, son.

The Jimmer is the antidote to apathy from Suns fans after a disappointing season by their standards. A Phoenix fan base that idolizes Steve Nash and held an outsized affection for Lou Amundson will pull Fredette to its wizened bosom without hesitation. Utah Jazz games at US Airways Center are often overrun by Utah fans, so he might even widen the season ticket base before he ever hoists a casual 35-footer professionally.

He’s even stated an affection for the Suns, telling reporters this week “(the Suns) are the type of team I’d like to play for.” One bat of those whole milk-fed eyelashes and Phoenix fans will go weak in the knees. Imagine if he also played basketball!

Admittedly, those fans will be as weak in the knees as Fredette trying to guard anyone with a greater lateral range than a birch tree in a stiff breeze. His affectionate wave applies to fans and men who have just sprinted by him with the ball. He only raises his hands to shoot, demand the ball, and ask to use the washroom during team meetings. He couldn’t defend the steamed vegetable tray at a barbecue competition. And so on.

Oh, and did we mention Jimmer hates carpooling because he can’t drive with someone that close to him? Is that piling on?

It just doesn’t matter, though. He can flash that utterly disarming smile and woo a suit just as well as a tween girl. His jacktastic offensive prowess fits snugly into the Suns’ current construction, allowing him to immediately adopt the Goran Dragic/Aaron Brooks role as second team helmsman. Brooks’ days would seem to be numbered in Phoenix if this public relations la petite mort came to pass, though one could justify Brooks’ reckless driving alongside Fredette’s laser sight for the basket in a teensy second team.

Eventually, Fredette would be marked the heir apparent for Nash, assuming Nash ever shows an inkling of desire to leave Arizona or the League. Being heir apparent to Nash brings theoretical promise of mentoring but ends up a lousy career move in the long run as you can’t replace someone who never leaves. Ask Dragic.

Of course, none of this fully addresses the remainder of the damage done during last offseason’s attempt to collect every small forward in the L as if they were 6-7 Pokémon. It also doesn’t prop back up Lopez the Lesser’s career nor does it acquire someone who can pull in a rebound better than that whiteboard at the bottom of the stairwell.

But one step at a time. First, save the season ticket sales. Then… actually, the Suns are kinda focused on Step 1 right now. Can you get back to them?

2011 SLAMonline Mock Draft
Pick Team Player Pick Team Player
1 Cavs Kyrie Irving 16 76ers
2 TWolves Derrick Williams 17 Knicks
3 Jazz Brandon Knight 18 Wizards
4 Cavs Enes Kanter 19 Bobcats
5 Raptors Bismack Biyombo 20 TWolves
6 Wizards Jan Vesely 21 Blazers
7 Kings Kemba Walker 22 Nuggets
8 Pistons Kawhi Leonard 23 Rockets
9 Bobcats Jonas Valanciunas 24 Thunder
10 Bucks Alec Burks 25 Celtics
11 Warriors Marcus Morris 26 Mavs
12 Jazz Tobias Harris 27 Nets
13 Suns Jimmer Fredette 28 Bulls
14 Rockets 29 Spurs
15 Pacers 30 Bulls
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  • Coconut

    “Hell, even Alvin Gentry has joined the fun by ripping the defensive page of the Suns’ playbook out of the binder” I get it! It’s only one page! Cause the Suns don’t play any defense! LOL

  • Jer dawg

    Given how the state of Arizona discriminated against Hispanics the city of Arizona would just love Fredette. Of course, throw comparisons of other white ballers and see what sticks. Who is next Brent Barry? Does Budinger remind others of taller Rex Chapman? White boy with hops and solid game? Fredette is already compared to Nash. Dirk is compared to Bird.
    Well, he hasn’t won and now Lebron is next Jordan? Say that when he’s won at least 1-2 rings. Go draft Fredette and sell your fans about mr. Dead eye shooter.

  • Jer dawg

    Can’t wait For Stuart Scott to make another crazy comparison between players. Smh

  • madterps

    Jimmer Fredette would be more of a JJ Redick kind, rather than Steve Nash. He just doesn’t have the quickness to penetrate the defense in the NBA.

  • http://www.bulls.com. Rigo Gonzalez

    The heir apparent to Nash?
    This kid will never average over 5 assists a game in the NBA.
    Good to see you acknowledged how HORRIBLE his defense is, though.

  • Jeremy

    I have watched enough BYU games from last year to know that Jimmer was all they had on offense, and really couldn’t afford to expend more energy at the defensive end. Fair enough. Now we know his strengths and weaknesses, and so does he.. I assume he realizes he won’t be jacking up that many shots his first season. He reminds me of a chauncey billups more than a steve nash, neither guards are blindingly quick, and Nash plays maybe less defense than Freddette. Chauncey guards more with his bigger frame than speed, nd Freddette looks to be more in Chauncey’s frame. I hope it goes well for him, and some of the hate stops.

  • http://fkjslf.com Jukai

    ‘A Phoenix fan base that idolizes Steve Nash and held an outsized affection for Lou Amundson will pull Fredette to its wizened bosom without hesitation’
    Yeah, cause us Phoenix fans only root for white people, that’s it.

  • matt

    yeah, slam got it wrong. jimmer is going to utah with the 12th pick.

  • http://fkjslf.com Jukai

    This article was entirely insulting.

  • http://slamonline.com The Fresh Prince of Nsam

    I’m pretty sure he’ll be drafted higher

  • http://www.slamonline.com Max

    Player of the year my *ss, Kemba should’ve gotten it.

  • ripslam

    This guy will be a benchwarmer in the L.

  • J.G.

    This article is a joke. Im mad i just spent a minute of my life reading it.

  • http://www.slamonline.com Ben Collins

    I like this guy.

    Wait, not Jimmer Fredette. He’s fine. I like this Tarwood fella.

  • http://Slamonline.com Caboose

    Yeah, I agree with Jukai on that one. I mean, the article was fairly condescending towards Phoenix and their fans. That said, I don’t think it’s far from the truth.

  • http://fkjslf.com Jukai

    No, it’s dead wrong.
    The people who to go to Phoenix basketball games GENERALLY aren’t the ones who support the heinously illegal profiling laws in Arizona. These aren’t the fans who gave a standing applause for the Phoenix Suns wearing their Los Suns jerseys in protest of said law.
    But yeah, I get it, white guys haha.
    Maybe we loved Steve Nash because he freaking made the Suns relevant for the first time since Barkley.
    Maybe we loved Lou and were ANGRY he was trading because he came off the bench and brought massive energy and enthusiasm, you know, the same way we love Jared Dudley for that now!
    But hey, Ben Collins loves the writer so I guess his “nascent” assumptions about this franchise are here to stay.

  • http://fkjslf.com Jukai

    And Jimmer isn’t Nash OR Reddick. He’s the spitting image of Eddie House. But Eddie’s black so we don’t dare make THAT comparison.

  • Lazarus

    jimmer is hibachi v2.

  • Youngindy21

    I like Jimmer Fredette but I don’t think he’s any teams franchise player. He will be a great scorer in the NBA but on the defensive end he will get abused by fast PGs such as Derrick Rose, Darren Collison, and Rajon Rondo. He also has some decent ball-handling skills. He will be a really great backup PG in the NBA but for an heir to Steve Nash the Suns should look elsewhere. He would be a better fit for the Utah Jazz or Indiana Pacers.

  • http://www.triplejunearthed.com/dacre Dacre

    Can we get someone that actually respects the suns to do their next mock draft choice…?? Dennis Tarwood is a bogun.

  • marc

    I’m pretty sure he’s going to get better on defense he’s not stupid and he isn’t a bum. He’s going to be ok and not a benchwarmer.

  • http://skinnyreporter.com Rich LaRocco

    Jimmer is outstanding in lateral quickness. In agility and strength combined Jimmer ranked No. 1 among all 53 players tested at the NBA Draft combine in Chicago. The guy is a multi-dimensional talent with insane shooting ability, great quickness, outstanding penetration ability, very good passing ability (No. 3 all time in his conference) and a great attitude. Sadly, I’m sure other basketball experts know Jimmer’s skills and potential, so I don’t think he’ll be available for Utah or Phoenix to draft.

  • Jacob Menhinick

    This article was hilarious – pheonix has one of the best point guards of all time and still can’t get into the playoffs – because they can’t build a team – and jimmer will add to that – he is exactly like the chonicles of reddick…or eddie house….it doesn’t matter, both play about 10 mins a game and need a GPS to find the paint…on offense and d

  • deadbored

    I cant believe people are calling jimmer a deadbeat. If he was black he would be hyped up to the top 5 without a doubt, especially with his draft combine stats. He is one of the best contested shooters I have seen in a while.